Sad news.

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CaroleF
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Sad news.

Post by CaroleF »

I'm sorry to have to tell you that John died on 11th December. His problem with the pancreas did turn out to be Pancreatic Cancer which is news no-one wants to hear. John accepted the news with shock, obviously, but with great courage. The last four weeks of his life were spent in a wonderful hospice, Rowans, north of Portsmouth. He was as comfortable there as it was possible to be and we were allowed to visit him, two people at a time and didn't have to be just the named people. His room, a very large room with French windows looking out onto a garden. Our daughters provided new birdseed and other bits for the bird table which was outside and he could see from his bed. The care that John received was extraordinary; Rowans is a registered charity and most of its funding comes from donations and did also come from its various shops around but of course at the moment they are all shut.

We had the funeral just over a week ago and of course had to keep to the 30 people attending, both at the church and then the crematorium. This isn't easy to decide on numbers but the services were both available to watch on line and this is what many people did. The number of letters and cards I've received pay tribute to this quiet man, always ready to help using his building background and got involved in many things for friends. The last great project he did was at our cottage in Dorset where the sitting room was single storey so he set about raising the roof so he could add another lovely bedroom with ensuite and a balcony which looked up the garden towards the summer house that he also built. We have only recently sold the property to our lovely neighbours whose farmhouse was our only neighbour.

If a funeral can be beautiful John's was. A few years ago he rescued a Victorian funeral bier and set about re-building it. This he did and his brothers recently got new wheels made for it by a wheelwright in Dorset, who turned out to be the Queen's Wheelwright! So John was pushed from our house in the village where he had lived for all his 74 years up to the church where he was christened, we were married there as was our elder daughter and our grandchildren christened. As a result of the lockdown people who could not attend lined the street through the village and leading to the church, very moving, I saw the video someone took.
I unfortunately wasn't able to be there as I was admitted to hospital very early the same day with what has turned out to be sciatica, I certainly have never known pain like it. I said that the funeral should go ahead as it had all been planned, so near to Christmas that to postpone was unthinkable. So my son-in-law read the words I had written and there were several other spoken tributes, no hymn singing of course but there were several pieces of music played.
I was in hospital for two days while the doctors got the pain under control. I'm pleased to say I no longer need pain relief.
I knew that the funeral would be expertly managed for, as some of you know, John owned the family funeral business, inherited from his grandfather and the firm has been part of the village for many years.
John had 71 years of hardly ever being ill, apart from colds, never having visited hospital and it was as if the final 2-3 years hit him with everything. We both enjoyed our cruising and John said to me that he hoped I would continue cruising. I'll see - at the moment no-one is cruising anywhere. However, I have many happy memories. At the moment memories are vitally important. Although John wasn't a member of this site he always asked me what the latest cruising news was from the site. At the moment I'm being well supported by both my daughters, and I'm really grateful for the nearly 43 years we were married.

Carole

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Manoverboard
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Manoverboard »

We lost our SIL to that dreadful cancer, perhaps one day it will be curable but sadly not today. Her last weeks were grim but it does seem that John managed a peaceful exit from this World and for that we must all be grateful.

Stay strong and thank you for sharing your loss with us ... xx
Keep laughing, it's good for your well being

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Kendhni
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Kendhni »

Sorry to hear that Carol, best wishes to you and family

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screwy
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Re: Sad news.

Post by screwy »

So sorry, best wishes to you.
Mel


Whynd1
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Whynd1 »

Oh Carol, I am so very sorry to hear the news. I have often wondered since you told us all that John has bern taken I'll how you both were.

Take care
Lindsey
Ps hope you will continue to drop in on the site now and again.

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Onelife
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Onelife »

Hello Carol…. when you have no alternative other then to walk through that door knowing you’ve earned the love and ‘respect’ of those you leave behind, is I believe, the mark of a man who needs not look back over his life with anything but pride.

My condolences to you and your family.

keith

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Stephen
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Stephen »

My condolences Carole.

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Jan Rosser
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Jan Rosser »

Carole I am so very sorry to hear of John’s death - my thoughts are with you at this sad time - take care.
Janis

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Meg 50
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Meg 50 »

:( :( :(

but what a lovely tribute
Meg
x

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Gill W
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Gill W »

So sorry to hear your news, Carole.
Gill

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oldbluefox
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Re: Sad news.

Post by oldbluefox »

We are so sorry to hear your sad news Carole. We were fortunate to meet you and John many years ago but we remember you and John with great affection. He was a true gentleman, a very gentle character and I know he will be very much missed not only by you but by your family.
I remember you were on the dining table next to ours but I won't tell which table was the noisier nor who was the noisiest!!! :angel: :lol:
Happy days indeed and I feel sure you will have many of those to remember.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
May your glass always be half full

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barney
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Re: Sad news.

Post by barney »

Our condolences Carole.
My dear old Mum passed with pancreatic cancer a few years back.
Stay strong x


cruisin_duo
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Re: Sad news.

Post by cruisin_duo »

Carol,

So sorry to hear of your loss. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

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towny44
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Re: Sad news.

Post by towny44 »

So sorry to hear your sad news Carole.
John

Trainee Pensioner since 2000

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Happydays
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Happydays »

Our condolences to you, your and friends. So sorry to hear your sad news. Remember all your happy memories that you have made together


Mrsvalb
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Re: Sad news.

Post by Mrsvalb »

Carol,

I am so sorry to hear your news. It’s very hard.

Treasure all of your wonderful memories, cruising or otherwise as I do.

Val x

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GillD46
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Re: Sad news.

Post by GillD46 »

Oh Carole, I am so terribly sorry to read this sad news today. My very sincere condolences to you and your family.
Gill


Topic author
CaroleF
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Re: Sad news.

Post by CaroleF »

Thank you all for your kind messages. I hope 2021 will let us see some sort of normality return. One thing I've discovered since John died is that I need people more than ever. I'm so fortunate to have two wonderful daughters who are being so supportive and grandchildren can be a great distraction.

Carole

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oldbluefox
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Re: Sad news.

Post by oldbluefox »

Welcome back to the forum Carole. Not the easiest of times we know but it's good to see you back with us again.
May your glass always be half full


anniec
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Re: Sad news.

Post by anniec »

Carole, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news and sorry I'm late with sincere commiserations. If you recall, we met briefly in the library on (I think) Ventura a few years ago and since then have both lost our husbands.

I can only say that your wonderful daughters will be your salvation, as mine have been, and that I shall be thinking about you.

Take care.

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