Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
-
Topic author - Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
At the risk of getting another slap.....
ANALYSIS
Element: Woman
Symbol: WO
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg but known to vary from 45kg to 255kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas with trace elements in most others
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface is usually covered in powder or painted film.
2. Boils at nothing. Freezes at everything.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly treated.
5. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied to selected points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and most precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without warning or reason.
4. Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water.
5. Activity greatly increases with saturation in alcohol.
6. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental - especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
TEST
1. A pure specimen will turn pink when discovered in its natural state.
2. Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.
ANALYSIS
Element: Woman
Symbol: WO
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg but known to vary from 45kg to 255kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas with trace elements in most others
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface is usually covered in powder or painted film.
2. Boils at nothing. Freezes at everything.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly treated.
5. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied to selected points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and most precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without warning or reason.
4. Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water.
5. Activity greatly increases with saturation in alcohol.
6. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental - especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
TEST
1. A pure specimen will turn pink when discovered in its natural state.
2. Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.
Alan
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM
-
- Senior Second Officer
- Posts: 733
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: NOTTINGHAM
Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
S S, I truly cannot think of a word to say. Obviously written by a cynical man but clever.
-
- First Officer
- Posts: 1806
- Joined: February 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
Alan,
Under 'Common Uses' you forgot to mention it's useful properties as a cleaning agent.
Taking cover,
NSAM
Under 'Common Uses' you forgot to mention it's useful properties as a cleaning agent.
Taking cover,
NSAM
-
- Third Officer
- Posts: 138
- Joined: October 2013
Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
Slap time coming on me thinks! Lol
-
- Senior Second Officer
- Posts: 892
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cotswolds
-
Topic author - Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
the long hexagonal one??jay-ell71 wrote:Time for you to get back in your box SS.
Alan
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM
-
- First Officer
- Posts: 1126
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
I feel so sorry for your wife
-
Topic author - Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
After neary 37 years together, the lovely Lady C has got used to me.The Tinker wrote:I feel so sorry for your wife
Alan
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM