Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

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Silver_Shiney
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Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#1

Post by Silver_Shiney »

At the risk of getting another slap.....

ANALYSIS

Element: Woman
Symbol: WO
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg but known to vary from 45kg to 255kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas with trace elements in most others

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1. Surface is usually covered in powder or painted film.

2. Boils at nothing. Freezes at everything.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter if incorrectly treated.

5. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.

6. Yields if pressure applied to selected points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and most precious stones.

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

3. May explode spontaneously without warning or reason.

4. Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water.

5. Activity greatly increases with saturation in alcohol.

6. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES

1. Highly ornamental - especially in sports cars.

2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

TEST

1. A pure specimen will turn pink when discovered in its natural state.

2. Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.
Alan

Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM


Andrea S
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Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#2

Post by Andrea S »

S S, I truly cannot think of a word to say. Obviously written by a cynical man but clever.

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Not so ancient mariner
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Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#3

Post by Not so ancient mariner »

Alan,

Under 'Common Uses' you forgot to mention it's useful properties as a cleaning agent.

Taking cover,

NSAM


Kaziebelle
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Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#4

Post by Kaziebelle »

Slap time coming on me thinks! Lol

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jay-ell71
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Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#5

Post by jay-ell71 »

Time for you to get back in your box SS. :lol:
Jay

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Silver_Shiney
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Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#6

Post by Silver_Shiney »

jay-ell71 wrote:
Time for you to get back in your box SS. :lol:
the long hexagonal one??
Alan

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The Tinker
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Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#7

Post by The Tinker »

I feel so sorry for your wife :D

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Silver_Shiney
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Re: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet

#8

Post by Silver_Shiney »

The Tinker wrote:
I feel so sorry for your wife :D
After neary 37 years together, the lovely Lady C has got used to me. :thumbup:
Alan

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