Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

Friday morning "Morning All"
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Stephen
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Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#1

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It's Friday Fun Time


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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#2

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My wife can't tell the time.
Every night I get home from the pub, she says.."what time do you call this?"

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#3

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#4

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Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?

No pressure.

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#5

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#6

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Statistics show 65% of scouse men have had sex in the shower; the other 35% haven't been to prison yet!


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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#7

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#9

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Calling all you Brexiteers. Pack your fishing rods, were off to Jersey to fight the French.

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#10

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The day after her husband disappeared in a kayaking accident, in Claddaghduff, Ireland. Mrs O’Flynn answered her door to find two grim-faced Constables. "We're sorry, Mrs. O’ Flynn, but we have some information about your dear husband, Mick". "Tell me! Did you find him?" Mrs. O’Flynn asked.
The constables looked at each other and one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mrs. O’ Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you, dear lady, but early this morning we found your poor husband's body in the bay." "Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!" exclaimed Mrs O’ Flynn. Swallowing hard, she asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"
The constable continued, "When we pulled the late, departed poor Mick up, he had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to him. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Mrs. O’ Flynn demanded, "Glory be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?"
The constable replied, "We're gonna pull him up again tomorrow."

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#12

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#13

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#16

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A 7 yr old and a 4 yr old are in their bedroom.

The 7 yr old looks at his brother and says, "I think it's time we started swearing."

The brother nods in agreement.

"When we go downstairs, I'll be the first to swear and then you swear" says the 7 yr old.

The two brothers go downstairs and the mother asks what they want for breakfast.

"I'll have a bowl of cocoa puffs, bitch!"

The mother smacks the kid so hard that he flies out of his chair.

The mother asks the 4 yr old what he wants. Stunned, the 4 yr old says, "I don't know, but it won't be f*****g cocoa puffs!"

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Re: Mornin All ~~ :) ~~~

#17

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