Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time


A teacher calls her first grade class from recess. She goes up to little Sally and asked, "Sally, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box."
"Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'sand' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
So she spells the word right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Billy. "Billy, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box with Sally."
"Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'box' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
So he spells it right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Mohammed from recess. "Mohammed, what did you do at recess?" "Billy and Sally threw rocks at me!"
"Hmm, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination', I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

[Ray Scully]

Now the Olympics have finished, just a few jokes to bring a smile to your faces.

Golden gags

A reporter meets a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick and asks, “Are you a pole vaulter?” “No,” says the man, “I’m German. But how did you know my name is Walter?

Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

A gymnast walks into a bar ... He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chances of a medal.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get into the Olympics but they haven't got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. "McTavish, Scotland" he says, "Discus", and in he walks. The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. "Waddington-Smythe, England," he says, "Pole vault," and in he walks. The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland," he says, "Fencing."

How is playing the bagpipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.

[Stephen]

My wife caught me crossdressing.

So I packed her things and left.

[Silver_Shiney]

The question we have to ask ourselves is "exactly what is the answer?"

[Not so ancient mariner]

The question we have to ask ourselves is "exactly what is the answer?"

Isn't it 42?

[Silver_Shiney]

The question we have to ask ourselves is "exactly what is the answer?"

Isn't it 42?

Not in this galaxy

[qbman1]

Brain the size of a planet !

[towny44]

Many years ago, during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: "Are you okay, what's your name?"

"It's John, and I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.

"John, she said, (firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe) "forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on now " Elizabeth insisted.

She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive ...

I was weak. "Well okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, "my wife won't like it."

After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth . "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd best go now."

"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still under the cart, I guess" I said.