Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I don't know what she's talking about most of the time
I woke up this morning and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed with two black eyes.
"What the hell happened to you?" I asked.
"This is what happens when you drink 9 pints of lager," she replied.
"That's rubbish," I said, looking in the mirror, "I drank 9 pints of lager last night and my face is fine."
I woke up this morning and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed with two black eyes.
"What the hell happened to you?" I asked.
"This is what happens when you drink 9 pints of lager," she replied.
"That's rubbish," I said, looking in the mirror, "I drank 9 pints of lager last night and my face is fine."
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11343
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A blond goes into the Post Office to buy some stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk "May I have 50 Christmas stamps please?"
The clerk says "What denomination?"
The blond says "God help us. Has it come to this?"
In exasperation she says "Give me 22 Catholic, 12 Anglican, 10 Methodist and 6 Baptist".
She says to the clerk "May I have 50 Christmas stamps please?"
The clerk says "What denomination?"
The blond says "God help us. Has it come to this?"
In exasperation she says "Give me 22 Catholic, 12 Anglican, 10 Methodist and 6 Baptist".
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11343
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy junction, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, For the lov e of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! I saw a guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the junction.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon, Love, Grandma
She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy junction, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, For the lov e of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! I saw a guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the junction.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon, Love, Grandma
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Bl**dy cyclists - It took me half an hour to get past them.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says, "I hope the porn is disabled."
The guy at the desk replies, "It's just regular porn you sick bas**rd."
The guy at the desk replies, "It's just regular porn you sick bas**rd."
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- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. As you know, we have just flown through some extreme turbulence. If you look out of the starboard windows down at the ocean, through the hole where the engine was before being ripped off, you will see a small orange dinghy with a man inside. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Alan
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM
Q-CC-KOS
Q-CC-TBM
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Silver_Shiney wrote:Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. As you know, we have just flown through some extreme turbulence. If you look out of the starboard windows down at the ocean, through the hole where the engine was before being ripped off, you will see a small orange dinghy with a man inside. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
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- First Officer
- Posts: 1854
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Poole Bay, Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Stephen wrote:15203155_1706431999601347_4636871664497296785_n.jpg
Bl**dy cyclists - It took me half an hour to get past them.
Morning Stephen
You are arsing about again
Lubboo lots
Graham
Gentle Giant of Cerne Abbas