Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time

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[Stephen]

My Korean friend died last week...

So Yung

[Not so ancient mariner]

Fred and Fiona were making passionate love in Fred's Transit van when suddenly
Fiona ( being a bit on the kinky side) yells out: "Oh, fat boy, whip
me, whip me!"

Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have
any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps
the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse
in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping
session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the
doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks
having sex?"

Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred let alone
allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits that,
"Yes, I did."

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims: "I thought so, because in
all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease
that I've ever seen."-

[qbman1]

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner.

The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.

Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!"

Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes.

And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again and again and again...

Don't you just love shopping for shoes?

[qbman1]

A famed explorer was invited to tell a group of students of his adventures in the African jungle.

"Can you imagine, a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?"

When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast."

[qbman1]

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear"

[Stephen]

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[Stephen]

Watson walks in on Sherlock having sex with a younger looking girl.

"Bl**dy hell, Sherlock! What'd you think you're doing bangin' that chick. She looks like she's in highschool!"

Sherlock replied, "Elementary, my dear Watson."

[Mervyn and Trish]

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[Stephen]

"Sorry" seems to be the hardest word to say...

Unless you're Chinese, then it's "squirrel".

[Stephen]

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[towny44]

After passing on, George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are
going for a job interview with God.
God asks Bush: “What do you believe in”?
Bush replies: "I believe in a free economy, a strong America, The
American nation and so on ..."
God is impressed by Bush and tells him: "Great , come sit in the
chair on my right"
God goes to Obama and ask: "What do you believe in”?
Obama replies: “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world
peace, etc. .... ".
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him: 'Well done , come sit
in the chair on my left"
Finally God asks Trump : “What do you believe in”?
Trump replied: "I believe you're sitting in my chair”.