Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
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- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Apparently, someone in Chicago gets stabbed every 52 seconds...
Poor guy.
Poor guy.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My boss told me to have a good day
So I went home.
So I went home.
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- Captain
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Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Some tourists in the Natural History Museum are marvelling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
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- Captain
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- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no, no!" insisted the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no, no!" insisted the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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- Captain
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- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?"
"Just snow," replied the stewardess.
"That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."
"Just snow," replied the stewardess.
"That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."
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- Captain
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- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A couple married for thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a farm with a tall wire fence fence running along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here thirty years ago."
The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and they made love like never before.
Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like That thirty years ago, or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "thirty years ago that fence wasn't electrified!"
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here thirty years ago."
The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and they made love like never before.
Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like That thirty years ago, or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "thirty years ago that fence wasn't electrified!"
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
qbman1 wrote: ↑02 Jun 2017, 13:54A couple married for thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a farm with a tall wire fence fence running along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here thirty years ago."
The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and they made love like never before.
Back in the car, the guy says, "Darling, you sure never moved like That thirty years ago, or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "thirty years ago that fence wasn't electrified!"
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.
He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.
He tried a FOURTH TIME with the same result.
He did this a FIFTH TIME and now was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got FIVE tickets in the mail......for driving WITHOUT A SEAT BELT.
He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.
He tried a FOURTH TIME with the same result.
He did this a FIFTH TIME and now was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got FIVE tickets in the mail......for driving WITHOUT A SEAT BELT.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15980
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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- Commodore
- Posts: 15351
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Commodore
- Posts: 15351
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Last edited by Mervyn and Trish on 03 Jun 2017, 20:57, edited 1 time in total.