It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow'.
"Ooh!" said the presenter, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers, taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"
"...Sticks?" Paddy replied.
"Ooh!" said the presenter, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers, taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"
"...Sticks?" Paddy replied.
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towny44
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 8960
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Sean is the vicar of a Protestant parish in western Newfoundland, and
Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road.
One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says:
"THE END IS NEAR. TURN YOURSELF AROUND NOW BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE."
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells,
"Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don't need your lectures."
From around the next curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash.
Shaking his head, Father Patrick says "Dat's DA terd one dis mornin'."
"Yaa," Sean agrees, then adds, "Do ya tink maybe DA sign should just say
"BRIDGE CLOSED"?
Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road.
One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says:
"THE END IS NEAR. TURN YOURSELF AROUND NOW BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE."
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells,
"Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don't need your lectures."
From around the next curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash.
Shaking his head, Father Patrick says "Dat's DA terd one dis mornin'."
"Yaa," Sean agrees, then adds, "Do ya tink maybe DA sign should just say
"BRIDGE CLOSED"?
Last edited by towny44 on 25 Aug 2017, 09:14, edited 1 time in total.
John
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Start in England and drive west.
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray B
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2295
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Paddy the Irishman died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly.
So the Morgue needed someone to identify the body.
His two best friends, Seamus and Sean (also Irishmen), were sent for.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Seamus said, 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad, roll him over'.
So the mortician rolled him over.
Seamus looked and said, 'Nope, it ain't Paddy'.
The mortician thought that was rather strange, but said nothing and asked Sean in to identify the body.
Sean took a look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over'
The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Paddy'.
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Sean said, 'Well, Paddy had two ars*holes.'
'What, he had two ars*holes?!!' said the mortician.
'Yup, everyone knew he had two ars*holes, every time we went into town, folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two ars*holes....'
So the Morgue needed someone to identify the body.
His two best friends, Seamus and Sean (also Irishmen), were sent for.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Seamus said, 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad, roll him over'.
So the mortician rolled him over.
Seamus looked and said, 'Nope, it ain't Paddy'.
The mortician thought that was rather strange, but said nothing and asked Sean in to identify the body.
Sean took a look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over'
The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Paddy'.
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Sean said, 'Well, Paddy had two ars*holes.'
'What, he had two ars*holes?!!' said the mortician.
'Yup, everyone knew he had two ars*holes, every time we went into town, folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two ars*holes....'
Don't worry, be happy
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15319
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Just the one bench?????
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I just swallowed a whole box of Scrabble tiles
My next trip to the toilet could spell disaster
My next trip to the toilet could spell disaster