It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I was doing a crossword - I asked the wife 'What's a 4 letter word for a female relative, ends in UNT?'
Wife said 'Aunt?'
I said 'Pass the tippex !!!'
Wife said 'Aunt?'
I said 'Pass the tippex !!!'
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
How To Tell If Your Dog Is Involved In A Sex Scandal
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."
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qbman1
- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A man and a woman had been dating for about a year, and their relationship was getting serious. The man proposed marriage, and she accepted.
However, she told him that she wanted him to know that her chest was just like a baby's.
He said that he loved her and that her measurements didn't matter to him.
He told her that his penis was also like a baby's. She said that she loved him and that size didn't matter.
Come the day of their wedding, all went well. That night, the happy couple checked into the honeymoon suite at a resort hotel. The blushing bride was in the bathroom putting on a sexy nightie. Her husband was in bed waiting. As she entered the bedroom, she reminded him of her confession about her chest being like a baby.
"Don't worry, honey," he said.
She took her nightgown off, and her breasts were the smallest he had ever seen.
He said that he was going to get undressed and reminded her of his confession about his penis being like a baby.
As he took his pants off, the new bride said, "Oh my!!! I thought you said your penis was like a baby!"
"It is," he said, "9 pounds and 21 inches long!"
However, she told him that she wanted him to know that her chest was just like a baby's.
He said that he loved her and that her measurements didn't matter to him.
He told her that his penis was also like a baby's. She said that she loved him and that size didn't matter.
Come the day of their wedding, all went well. That night, the happy couple checked into the honeymoon suite at a resort hotel. The blushing bride was in the bathroom putting on a sexy nightie. Her husband was in bed waiting. As she entered the bedroom, she reminded him of her confession about her chest being like a baby.
"Don't worry, honey," he said.
She took her nightgown off, and her breasts were the smallest he had ever seen.
He said that he was going to get undressed and reminded her of his confession about his penis being like a baby.
As he took his pants off, the new bride said, "Oh my!!! I thought you said your penis was like a baby!"
"It is," he said, "9 pounds and 21 inches long!"
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
NEWS HEADLINES
Man arrested at Buckingham Palace had a 4 foot chopper.
Linford Christie denys any involvement.
Man arrested at Buckingham Palace had a 4 foot chopper.
Linford Christie denys any involvement.
Last edited by Stephen on 01 Sep 2017, 12:30, edited 1 time in total.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)