Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Went on a date with a girl from the Stock Exchange. I knew it was going well when she started playing FTSE with me under the table!
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- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
[attachment=0]DLYuVQ8WkAEwf6O.jpg[/attachment]
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Last edited by qbman1 on 06 Oct 2017, 10:02, edited 1 time in total.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I was out on a date with this girl when i asked , 'Do you spit or swallow?' She slapped my face and stormed off.
I'm never taking anyone Wine Tasting again.
I'm never taking anyone Wine Tasting again.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Chewing gum anyone ?
In case you're wondering - it's an abbreviation for "spearmint" !
In case you're wondering - it's an abbreviation for "spearmint" !
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- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I got attacked by a bunch of bees today at the petrol station.
They robbed me of my Nectar points.
They robbed me of my Nectar points.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2294
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no
mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that
are growing wild down by the stream?
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful.
Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him
after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear,
"Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible,
called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an
ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and
we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road.
The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and
pumped out their stomach.
Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said,
"Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living
room when the daughter came in and said to her mum.....
"I can't believe that bloke!"
"What bloke?"
"You know, the bastard who ran over Spot; he never even slowed down."
mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that
are growing wild down by the stream?
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful.
Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him
after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear,
"Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible,
called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an
ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and
we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road.
The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and
pumped out their stomach.
Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said,
"Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living
room when the daughter came in and said to her mum.....
"I can't believe that bloke!"
"What bloke?"
"You know, the bastard who ran over Spot; he never even slowed down."
Don't worry, be happy
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Dear Walkers Crisps,
Your crisps are really tasty. When will you be making a full bag?
Your crisps are really tasty. When will you be making a full bag?
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- First Officer
- Posts: 1854
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Poole Bay, Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Rural Darzet yer
The Giant and his Ferrets would like to implode a enjoyable Autumn weekend to Stephen and his Friday assemble of Jesters
Luboo all
Graham
The Giant and his Ferrets would like to implode a enjoyable Autumn weekend to Stephen and his Friday assemble of Jesters
Luboo all
Graham
Gentle Giant of Cerne Abbas
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15963
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Thank you Graham. Have a good weekend yourself my friend
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- Commodore
- Posts: 15309
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I overheard some kids talking, it was all "effin' this and effin' that".
They weren't swearing just discussing their exam results.
They weren't swearing just discussing their exam results.
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- Captain
- Posts: 12153
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Oxfordshire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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