Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time

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[Stephen]

HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

God went to the Arabs and said, ''I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.' The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?' And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.' 'Can you give us an example?' 'Thou shall not kill.' 'Not kill? We're not interested..'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honor thy Father and Mother.' 'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.' 'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.' The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.' 'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments..' 'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?' 'They're free.' 'We'll take 10.'

[Stephen]

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[Stephen]

I will never forget the day I got married.
I've tried everything: drugs, alcohol, even hypnosis.

[Ray Scully]

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[Stephen]

My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" She said "it was absolutely incredible, and it is our anniversary tomorrow."
"S*d it" I thought. I'll treat her. So I walked her past again.

[Stephen]

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[Stephen]

Yoko Ono is a better survivalist than Ray Mears or Bear Grylls.
She's been surviving off one dead Beatle since 1980.

[Stephen]

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[Onelife]

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.


Once he understood the parrott started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat". "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table". "Hey, why are all these cards the Ace of Spades?"


The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.


One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course! They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another.


After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"

[oldbluefox]

AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is SOCCER.
2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BASKETBALL.
3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is RUGBY .
4 The sport of choice for supervisors is CRICKET.
5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And......
6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a ton of people in the Government playing marbles!

[Stephen]

AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is SOCCER.
2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BASKETBALL.
3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is RUGBY .
4 The sport of choice for supervisors is CRICKET.
5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And......
6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a ton of people in the Government playing marbles!

[Ray Scully]

There could be one in every port

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