It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15983
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15983
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My missus isn’t happy with me this frosty morning.
She just told me she’s going out to scrape the car. “Against what” was not the right reply.
She just told me she’s going out to scrape the car. “Against what” was not the right reply.
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Happydays
- First Officer
- Posts: 1840
- Joined: June 2014
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Ha ha ha very amusing 
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15983
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15983
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I always read my wife's horoscope to see what kind of day I'm going to have.
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15357
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.
St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God,
'I've got 40 gyppo's here. Can I let them in?'
God says, 'We're over quota on gyppo's, go out and tell them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy and I will let just the dozen in.'
Two minutes later St Peter is on the phone to God again.
'They've gone', he tells God.
'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?'
'No, the gates!"
St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God,
'I've got 40 gyppo's here. Can I let them in?'
God says, 'We're over quota on gyppo's, go out and tell them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy and I will let just the dozen in.'
Two minutes later St Peter is on the phone to God again.
'They've gone', he tells God.
'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?'
'No, the gates!"
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Ray B
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2302
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.
Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"
Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"
Don't worry, be happy
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Ray B
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2302
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
You know what Trump has besides money? A barber with a sense of humor.
Don't worry, be happy
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15983
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Ray B wrote: ↑10 Feb 2018, 19:29Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.
Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"
Good one Ray
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
> Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
>
> His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
>
> He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to
> record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
>
> My son, "Bernie,
> I want you to take the Mayfair houses."
> My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."
> My son, "Jimmy, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks
> of the river."
>
>
>
> The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realise
> his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse
> says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a
> hard-working man to have accumulated all this
> property".
>
>
>
> Sarah
> replies, "Property ? ..... the asshole had a paper
> round.
>
> His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
>
> He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to
> record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
>
> My son, "Bernie,
> I want you to take the Mayfair houses."
> My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."
> My son, "Jimmy, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks
> of the river."
>
>
>
> The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realise
> his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse
> says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a
> hard-working man to have accumulated all this
> property".
>
>
>
> Sarah
> replies, "Property ? ..... the asshole had a paper
> round.