It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Paddy finds a sandwich with 2 red wires stickin out of it...
He phones the bomb squad... "Bejesus, I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a feckin bomb"...
The operator asks "Is it tickin?" ...Paddy says "No, I tink it's beef!"
He phones the bomb squad... "Bejesus, I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a feckin bomb"...
The operator asks "Is it tickin?" ...Paddy says "No, I tink it's beef!"
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towny44
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 8967
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA - ONLY US CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS NEED APPLY
Lemon Pickers Needed ï read the ad in the newspaper.
Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs , Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.
She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job.
She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan, and a master's degree from Michigan
State University. For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.
The foreman studied her application, frowned and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume. However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said..."I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, and voted for Trump .
She started work that afternoon.
Lemon Pickers Needed ï read the ad in the newspaper.
Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs , Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.
She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job.
She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan, and a master's degree from Michigan
State University. For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.
The foreman studied her application, frowned and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume. However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said..."I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, and voted for Trump .
She started work that afternoon.
John
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Good one John. Shared on face cloth 
Last edited by Stephen on 08 Feb 2019, 09:54, edited 1 time in total.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My Niece was raped in Bradford by a white man.
I vowed I would kill the first white man I saw.
Still looking!
I vowed I would kill the first white man I saw.
Still looking!
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towny44
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 8967
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 11356
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A girl goes to Westminster Abbey church a week before her wedding to confess her sins to the priest. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "Tell all of your sins, my daughter." "Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times," she says. The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, "Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it." "Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?" the girl replies. "No," the priest says, "But it'll wipe that smile off your face.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I don't understand my wife.
She seemed enthusiastic when I suggested we make some homemade porn, then she throws a fit when I start auditioning women for her part.
She seemed enthusiastic when I suggested we make some homemade porn, then she throws a fit when I start auditioning women for her part.
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 11356
- Joined: January 2013
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
First Date:
Her: Lets exchange numbers.
Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?
Her: Lets exchange numbers.
Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
-
Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need
to enter a password......... Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for
the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it
plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out
loud as he typed....
P...
E...
N...
I...
S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED ........ NOT LONG ENOUGH***
appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need
to enter a password......... Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for
the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it
plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out
loud as he typed....
P...
E...
N...
I...
S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED ........ NOT LONG ENOUGH***
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gfwgfw
- First Officer
- Posts: 1854
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Poole Bay, Dorset
