Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

Friday morning "Morning All"
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Stephen
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Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#1

Post by Stephen »

Image


It's Friday Fun Time


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Stephen
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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#2

Post by Stephen »

The Psychiatrist told me "You are emotionally retarded with a well below average IQ...

...so I'm prescribing Love Island".

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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#3

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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#4

Post by Stephen »

I've always fancied having a go at Bell Ringing, so I became a Jehovah's Witness.

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towny44
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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#5

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A Democrats prayer:- If Trump is dead before I wake, I pray to God the news aint Fake!
John

Trainee Pensioner since 2000

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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#6

Post by towny44 »

So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a Colt 9mm handgun for home/personal protection. When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."


Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.


When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!
As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.


They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.


I still don't think I looked that bad! I just need to wear underwear more often.
John

Trainee Pensioner since 2000


Ray Scully
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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#7

Post by Ray Scully »

Never in the course of human history has a new Prime Minister told so many lies, to so many, and been voted for by so few!
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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#8

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Is it just my pharmacy that can be empty of customers with me the only patient.

I needed one box of tablets (that I've already ordered online a week ago).
I can see them behind her and she looks me straight in the eye and says:

”It’ll be 15 to 20 minutes”.

To put a box in a bag and hand it to me.

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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#9

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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#10

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A man came up to me and said "sorry to bother you", I seem to be lost, do you know the Glasgow turn off? "certainly do mate, I replied, "I have been married to her for twenty years.

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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

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Re: Morning All ~~~ :) ~~~

#12

Post by Stephen »

Her dating profile said, “Whacky, 40-ish, loves cosy pubs, and has bubbly personality”. How was I supposed to know that meant, “Unhinged, 49yr-old, alcoholic porker?”

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