Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time

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[Stephen]

[Stephen]

BRANSON OFFERED BAILOUT!....

Sir Richard Branson has warned that airline Virgin Atlantic needs government support to survive.

In response the Treasury have offered him back ‘every single penny that he has paid in UK tax for the past 14 years.’

Chancellor Rishi Sunak described it as an ‘unprecedented offer’ but said that he cannot extend it to others as ‘to do so would cost the government money they can ill afford’.

Asked how much the offer to Branson would cost the UK taxpayer, Mr Sunak said he hasn’t yet calculated it exactly but believes it to be ‘in the region of f*ck all.

[Stephen]

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[Stephen]

My wife's eaten that much during the lockdown.

She's started to get a tan off the fridge light.

[Stephen]

[Ray Scully]

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[Ray Scully]

BORIS Johnson advises Richard Branson to do 100 laps of his garden to raise money for struggling Virgin Atlantic

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[Mervyn and Trish]

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[Stephen]

It took me a minute, but after a short walk I got it

[Stephen]

A man walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price. The more sheer the negligee, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on."
So, she decided she would do the modeling naked, return the negligee the following day, and keep the $500 refund for herself.
She appears naked on the stair landing and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it."
He never heard the shot. The funeral is on Thursday, at noon. Closed coffin.

[Stephen]

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[Manoverboard]

Well I went for a walk .... what people

[oldbluefox]

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting
on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,
"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said.
"Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint.
Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week,
and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.

[oldbluefox]

On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK and now U.N. Middle East Peace Envoy, addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians.
He spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing about a lasting peace settlement amongst the warring nations of the Middle East, likening it to the way that the U.S. Government found a suitable agreement with the North American tribes.
At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..
A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of sh*t that it can no longer fly.

[oldbluefox]

Classic Two Ronnies
Very clever!!

[oldbluefox]

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[Stephen]

FELLAS: If your partner is going to leave you, try and make it so she leaves the house at 8PM on a Thursday with her cases packed so it looks as though all the street hates her as well.

[Stephen]

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[Stephen]

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[Mervyn and Trish]

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[oldbluefox]

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[Mervyn and Trish]

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