Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
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- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Last edited by Stephen on 12 Jun 2020, 06:20, edited 2 times in total.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Britain appears to be successfully avoiding a second wave by keeping the first wave going!
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Prince Philip is attending a BLM protest for a special treat for his 99th birthday.
But only on the condition that he drives.
But only on the condition that he drives.
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- Commodore
- Posts: 15314
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Little Johnny’s teacher was giving a lesson in developing logical thinking.
“This is the scene”, said the teacher.
“A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank.
Why do you think she ran to the bank?
Little Johnny raised his hand and asked,
“To draw out all his savings”?
“This is the scene”, said the teacher.
“A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank.
Why do you think she ran to the bank?
Little Johnny raised his hand and asked,
“To draw out all his savings”?
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- Commodore
- Posts: 15314
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A rich oil tycoon from Texas made his way to Ireland one day…
where he made his way to a local pub.
He walked up to the bar and laid a bag of money on the counter whilst he declared to all in the room:
“I heard y’all Irish can drink, so I put it to you that not one of y’all’s can drink 500 shots back to back Prove me wrong, and I’ll give you this here five thousand dollars.”
The room immediately grew silent, not a soul stirred.
Then suddenly, an elderly man stood to his feet, assumed at first to be an accepting challenger but he quickly stormed out the front door.
A half-hour of time passed and the same elderly man came back walked to the bar turned to the Texan and said,
“Alright, I’ll take that bet!”
The bartender lined up 500 shots and the elderly Irish man tossed them back one after the other until he had finished all 500 shots in record time.
The Texan raised his eyebrows in surprise and tipped back his hat as he handed the bag of money to the winning contender.
“Well, you won,” he said then asked.
“Outta’ curiosity, where’d you go for that half-hour?”
To which the elderly Irish man laughed then replied.
“Oh, that! I went to the bar across the street to see if I could really do it first!”
where he made his way to a local pub.
He walked up to the bar and laid a bag of money on the counter whilst he declared to all in the room:
“I heard y’all Irish can drink, so I put it to you that not one of y’all’s can drink 500 shots back to back Prove me wrong, and I’ll give you this here five thousand dollars.”
The room immediately grew silent, not a soul stirred.
Then suddenly, an elderly man stood to his feet, assumed at first to be an accepting challenger but he quickly stormed out the front door.
A half-hour of time passed and the same elderly man came back walked to the bar turned to the Texan and said,
“Alright, I’ll take that bet!”
The bartender lined up 500 shots and the elderly Irish man tossed them back one after the other until he had finished all 500 shots in record time.
The Texan raised his eyebrows in surprise and tipped back his hat as he handed the bag of money to the winning contender.
“Well, you won,” he said then asked.
“Outta’ curiosity, where’d you go for that half-hour?”
To which the elderly Irish man laughed then replied.
“Oh, that! I went to the bar across the street to see if I could really do it first!”
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- Captain
- Posts: 11344
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants,".
.............
The Question A boy comes home and says to his parents "Mom, dad, the teacher asked a question today and I was the only kid in the class that knew the answer!" And the parents say "That's amazing son! What was the question?" And the boy says "Who farted?"
...............
Restaurant A woman walks into a restaurant and takes a seat. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly, with the Waiter right behind her. Shocked, she sits back up abruptly, glares at the waiter and shouts "Stop That!" To which the Waiter replies "Sure, Which Way Did It Go
.............
The Question A boy comes home and says to his parents "Mom, dad, the teacher asked a question today and I was the only kid in the class that knew the answer!" And the parents say "That's amazing son! What was the question?" And the boy says "Who farted?"
...............
Restaurant A woman walks into a restaurant and takes a seat. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly, with the Waiter right behind her. Shocked, she sits back up abruptly, glares at the waiter and shouts "Stop That!" To which the Waiter replies "Sure, Which Way Did It Go
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- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 8960
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Keefie, I just can't stop laughing at that last one.
John
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The statue of Robert Milligan, son of a plantation owner, was removed on the order of the London Mayor, Sadiq Khan.
Diane Abbott has also called for the deportation of the man from Del Monte as well.
Diane Abbott has also called for the deportation of the man from Del Monte as well.
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- Senior First Officer
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- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- First Officer
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11331
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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