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Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Last edited by Stephen on 11 Sep 2020, 06:27, edited 2 times in total.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Last edited by Manoverboard on 11 Sep 2020, 08:17, edited 1 time in total.
Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11343
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Yesterday morning, I bought two six packs of beer at the Supermarket
I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a sexy
voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer."
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"What kind of beer have you got?”
I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a sexy
voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer."
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"What kind of beer have you got?”
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- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11343
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"....I just lost it.
"CASE DISMISSED!!"
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"....I just lost it.
"CASE DISMISSED!!"
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Our relationship with Europe is a bit like a happy marriage.
A man living in France is found dead on a French beach and we accept the blame.
A man living in France is found dead on a French beach and we accept the blame.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15977
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.
His heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, and he replied ' Well, no dear, both of them are called Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat, saying 'Well, we're not having any of that broke-back mountain sh*t in our garden.'
Brings a tear to your eye ... doesn't it.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.
His heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, and he replied ' Well, no dear, both of them are called Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat, saying 'Well, we're not having any of that broke-back mountain sh*t in our garden.'
Brings a tear to your eye ... doesn't it.
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- Commodore
- Posts: 15342
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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