Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A man came up to me and said "sorry to bother you", I seem to be lost, do you know the Glasgow turn off? "certainly do mate, I replied, "I have been married to her for twenty years.
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
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Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
*** Never Get Old ***
Three men were moaning about the problems that old age brings.
“Look at me,” said the 70 year old. “Every morning I’m woken by the urge to have a pee but when I get up and go to the bathroom I have to stand there for ages before anything happens.”
“I wish I had your problems,” said the 80 year old. “Every morning I go for a poo but I’m so constipated I end up being there for over 2 hours.”
“Well you’re both bl**dy lucky,” said the 90 year old. “Every morning at 7 o’clock, I have a good p*ss, and sh*t like an elephant.
The problem is… I don’t wake up until 8.30.
Three men were moaning about the problems that old age brings.
“Look at me,” said the 70 year old. “Every morning I’m woken by the urge to have a pee but when I get up and go to the bathroom I have to stand there for ages before anything happens.”
“I wish I had your problems,” said the 80 year old. “Every morning I go for a poo but I’m so constipated I end up being there for over 2 hours.”
“Well you’re both bl**dy lucky,” said the 90 year old. “Every morning at 7 o’clock, I have a good p*ss, and sh*t like an elephant.
The problem is… I don’t wake up until 8.30.
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- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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