Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I am sailing
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Ray B
- Senior First Officer
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 11358
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
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- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2053
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Thanks all for stepping in. 
It's been a problem getting WiFi and I'm certainly not paying P&O prices.
The local coffee vendors don't seem to be offering WiFi which I can sort of understand. People coming along for a drink and taking up a table for ages while using their WiFi. So I have had to resort to my mobile data.
A reduced service will hopefully resume next Friday as we will still be away.
It's been a problem getting WiFi and I'm certainly not paying P&O prices.
The local coffee vendors don't seem to be offering WiFi which I can sort of understand. People coming along for a drink and taking up a table for ages while using their WiFi. So I have had to resort to my mobile data.
A reduced service will hopefully resume next Friday as we will still be away.
Last edited by Stephen on 01 Oct 2023, 17:02, edited 1 time in total.
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
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- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A lad from Leeds is doing really well on Who Wants to be a Millionaire.
He's got to £125,000 with all his lifelines.
Jeremy: Ok, for £125,000 which of the following was one of The Great Train Robbers, was it:
Ronnie Biggs
Ronnie O'Sullivan
Ronnie Corbett
Ronnie Wood
Take your time.
Lad: I'll take the money Jeremy
Jeremy: Are you sure, you've still got 3 lifelines.
Lad: I'm sure Jeremy, I'll take the money.
Jeremy: Ok audience give him a big round of applause, but before you go I'm sure you'd like to know the answer.
Lad: I know the answer Jeremy.
Jeremy: You know the answer?
You've just turned down a quarter of a million quid, are you mad?
Are you mental?
Lad: I may be mental Jeremy but I'm no grass.
He's got to £125,000 with all his lifelines.
Jeremy: Ok, for £125,000 which of the following was one of The Great Train Robbers, was it:
Ronnie Biggs
Ronnie O'Sullivan
Ronnie Corbett
Ronnie Wood
Take your time.
Lad: I'll take the money Jeremy
Jeremy: Are you sure, you've still got 3 lifelines.
Lad: I'm sure Jeremy, I'll take the money.
Jeremy: Ok audience give him a big round of applause, but before you go I'm sure you'd like to know the answer.
Lad: I know the answer Jeremy.
Jeremy: You know the answer?
You've just turned down a quarter of a million quid, are you mad?
Are you mental?
Lad: I may be mental Jeremy but I'm no grass.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Good one Merv. Even Mrs S chuckled at that one 
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Ray B
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2312
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A man went into an urologist and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood erect.
The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection and there was nothing he could actually do for him.
However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he is willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissues from an elephant’s trunk into his 'old fella'. The man thought about it for a while.
The thought of having to go through life without sex was too much for him to bear.
So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, the man decided to go for it.. A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to go and try out his newly renovated equipment. As a result he planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town.
In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his loins that continued to the point of being extremely Painful... To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his kn*b sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his trousers. His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said,
'That was incredible! Can you do that again?' With tears in his eyes he replied,
‘ I think I can, but I'm not sure if another bread roll will fit up my a*se'
The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection and there was nothing he could actually do for him.
However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he is willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissues from an elephant’s trunk into his 'old fella'. The man thought about it for a while.
The thought of having to go through life without sex was too much for him to bear.
So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, the man decided to go for it.. A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to go and try out his newly renovated equipment. As a result he planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town.
In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his loins that continued to the point of being extremely Painful... To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his kn*b sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his trousers. His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said,
'That was incredible! Can you do that again?' With tears in his eyes he replied,
‘ I think I can, but I'm not sure if another bread roll will fit up my a*se'
Don't worry, be happy
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15361
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
BERT: “That pub over the road has a sign up saying ‘No mobile 'phones. Pretend it’s 1973’.
ERIC: “So what did you do Bert?”
BERT:“I gave him 17p for the pint and lit a cigarette”
ERIC: “So what did you do Bert?”
BERT:“I gave him 17p for the pint and lit a cigarette”
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 15361
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My mate hurt himself going through a turnstyle in Thailand.
Bangkok?
No, his elbow.
Bangkok?
No, his elbow.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I love it when Cashiers scan your money to check it's real.
Listen love...If I knew how to counterfeit money I wouldn't be shopping in f****n LIDL would I?
Listen love...If I knew how to counterfeit money I wouldn't be shopping in f****n LIDL would I?
Last edited by Stephen on 04 Oct 2023, 15:20, edited 1 time in total.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 15991
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down Souf. The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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