Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

The International Space Station is flying over England tonight...
So if you're in Liverpool, expect some youth to be knocking on your door trying to sell parts off it in the morning.

[Stephen]

David Blaine holds the world record for staying awake for 11 days.

Rolf Harris will break that easily as soon as he's in prison.

[Silver_Shiney]

David Blaine holds the world record for staying awake for 11 days.

Rolf Harris will break that easily as soon as he's in prison.

I should think he'll go straight into solitary for his own protection

[Stephen]

Rolf Harris was Australian Under-18 backstroke champion in the 1940s.

By the 1970s he'd moved on to the Under-14 breaststroke.

[poole boy]

Court Ruling from the UK:






> A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday
> when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
> The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
> initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child
> custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained
> to the degree possible.
>
> The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him
> more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When
> the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried
> out that they also beat him.
>
> After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning
> that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
> judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
> should have custody of him.
>
> After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child
> welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England
> Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone

[Dancing Queen]

CARP Canadian Association of Retired People

Questions and Answers from CARP Forum

Q: Where can single men over the age of 50 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true?
Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-50 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q: Why should 50-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 50-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

SMILE, You've still got your sense of humour!