Hoarders and Collectors

[suespud]

My mam died a few years ago and we boxed up lots of her stuff and have recently started going through it.

She was a very keen Historian. Was in the Local History group, and has researched our family tree.

But she also collected... pressed glass, old poetry books, some dating dating back to 1850's, old books in general, porcelain.

Well she collected over 70 pieces plus, of Carnival Glass, some bits worth a bit more than others..but a very interesting collection.
I do like a few pieces of it, and have them on dispaly, but that still left boxes of the stuff. My kids dont like/want it.
Although my youngest son said if it was worth any money he would have it and try to sell it. That didnt feel right to me.
Then a few weeks ago I read that because some pressed glass was made up in here in the North East a new glass museum was being opened.
So I phoned them and a nice lady is coming today to have a look at my mams glass to see if there are any pieces that could go in the museum.

Fingers crossed.

Of course iv still got ALL the other stuff to sort out.
Again my kids say they are not interested in it,and when I pop my clogs they would just get rid of it and not keep it.
So even though it breaks my heart I am going to do the same..find people, collectors, maybe more museums who will keep the stuff.

I know some of the books are worth maybe a £100 or more each.
But to me its not about the money, its about those things that were precious to my mam and to those who owned them before her, being kept and treasured.

Obviously I am not the first to have to sort out like this,so what has everyone else done with the stuff from parents that was precious to them ?

[Manoverboard]

My Mum wasn't very well off at all and her collection comprised of many hundreds of meals on wheels trays and umpteen silver coins in umpteen jam jars ... virtually all of them pre 1917 so a very high silver content of course.

Some of the furniture went to a distant relation who was setting up home, we had a couple of old and interesting pieces and the rest was auctioned off. We still have bibs n bobs with family memories like ornaments and a brass toasting fork on display to this day.

[Boris+]

Things which meant alot to me I tried just quietly to keep, and I still have those items safely put somewhere. Things which I thought might be wanted by somebody else were offered to those people at the time - and were snapped up, too. So, things were given to relatives and best pals.

I got through this process quite soon after things happened - and I am glad I got stuck in and sorted everything out at the time. Now I don't have that daunting task waiting ahead of me.

Em

[Kenmo1]

We are about to move to a bungalow with very little storage. We are moving from a house with 3 big 'glory holes' where 33 years of memories and junk have been stored. We have tried to clear things but it isn't easy. We have given lots to the charity shops etc but it got to the stage where I felt I was parting with half my life and to walk past a charity shop and see something you have treasured for years being sold for 2.99 is quite upsetting even though it is going to a good cause. We have now bought some large plastic containers and put stuff in there and when we move and realise what little space we have, it may be easier to dispose of things. My son is like your children, Sue, and says he will get rid of everything when we pop our clogs.

[Kenmo1]

I forgot to say, Sue, I hope that some of the glass can go to the museum as you will be able to visit and see it - what a lovely way to keep those precious memories alive

[Dancing Queen]

That's the thing though Em, you have things stored, what happens when you "go" will your "treasures" be someone else's "rubbish" obviously people keep things for sentimental reasons but do "this generation" feel as we do

I've never had to do it but I would imagine it is very hard to dispose of anything that you know meant so much to someone else, I also don't think there is a right or a wrong time to do it, a friend of mine couldn't bear to dispose of anything belonging to her husband for several years, we had another friend who by the time of his wife's funeral you would never have known they had lived in the same house together, nothing at all that indicated she had - some folk have strange ideas

[suespud]

Things which meant alot to me I tried just quietly to keep, and I still have those items safely put somewhere. Things which I thought might be wanted by somebody else were offered to those people at the time - and were snapped up, too. So, things were given to relatives and best pals.

I got through this process quite soon after things happened - and I am glad I got stuck in and sorted everything out at the time. Now I don't have that daunting task waiting ahead of me.

Em

I did all that Em, gave stuff away.
Of course there are "family pieces" that under no circumstances would ever be thrown out...I would come back and haunt my kids if they did !!!!
Her local history stuff went to the group..family and friends had their pick of her other bits.
But these are her collections, quite a lot of stuff..quite different.
I have space in the loft(we have a big old house)
But my point is why keep them packed up in the loft when they will just get chucked out when I die ?

[Meg 50]

It's hard... when I was clearing my Mum's stuff, I could hear her voice saying "You can't get rid of that, it's new/ useful/interesting......"

But we had to be ruthless.

Everyone was told to grab what they wanted - most of her pictures and photos were grabbed. A batch of stuff went for auction and other stuff to various charities - but a lot of stuff was dumped.

The trouble is one doesn't have time to go through everything really closely and see what's worthy of preservation.


Sue, at least your way you have time to deal with it

[suespud]

We are about to move to a bungalow with very little storage. We are moving from a house with 3 big 'glory holes' where 33 years of memories and junk have been stored. We have tried to clear things but it isn't easy. We have given lots to the charity shops etc but it got to the stage where I felt I was parting with half my life and to walk past a charity shop and see something you have treasured for years being sold for 2.99 is quite upsetting even though it is going to a good cause. We have now bought some large plastic containers and put stuff in there and when we move and realise what little space we have, it may be easier to dispose of things. My son is like your children, Sue, and says he will get rid of everything when we pop our clogs.

I feel guilty as I feel I am parting with part of my mams life.
Her collections were very important to her.
BUT.....I also know the memories are in my head not the actual bits.
Im just a soppy sod..lol

[suespud]

That's the thing though Em, you have things stored, what happens when you "go" will your "treasures" be someone else's "rubbish" obviously people keep things for sentimental reasons but do "this generation" feel as we do

I've never had to do it but I would imagine it is very hard to dispose of anything that you know meant so much to someone else, I also don't think there is a right or a wrong time to do it, a friend of mine couldn't bear to dispose of anything belonging to her husband for several years, we had another friend who by the time of his wife's funeral you would never have known they had lived in the same house together, nothing at all that indicated she had - some folk have strange ideas

Jo my kids have marked everything they want from my house already.
My youngest again.. has his eye on some art we have ( a Rolf Harris painting) and keeps asking can he have it now so he can sell it !! He doesnt like it but likes the money it is worth !!!

[Boris+]

Because of the situation I was in when all this 'clearing out' lark started, I knew that without any doubt I had to get stuck in or else get buried in the avalanche.

I have a strict 'no clutter' ruling wherever we are, and so when I 'go' there won't me that much to worry about. My 'personal treasures' as such are small - and once I have gone it's up to those left behind to sort it out in as practical manner as possible. I shall get my fill of enjoyment from my 'treasures' - and those who benefit from my Will will just have to get stuck in and sort themselves out.

Whatever happens - I won't know what is happening because I simply won't be there, and those left behind must do as they see fit.

Em

[jacksparrow]

My great great great uncle in the 1800s collected items from the Manding tribe. This included spears shields knives etc etc..... when my dad and uncle were kids they used to play with them in the back garden unbeknown to my gran and when one of them got hurt some of the items were put into the local museum. I am pleased to say that what is left is still hanging off one of my walls at home....

Goodness knows what will happen to them when I go....

[qbman1]

When I had to clear out my parents' home a few years ago I could not believe the amount of clutter they had accumulated. The few personal "treasures" were easy to deal with but the junk...oh, the junk! I knew they were "careful" but it was clear that they never threw anything out. We found probably every toaster they had ever owned, every little bit of cable, wire and electrical fitting that had, at some time been replaced, piles and piles of wood, bits of glass....I could go on all day! I am sure that they were all kept because "they might come in handy one day"! Quite what they old chap thought he would be able to do with 7 non-working toasters, I can only speculate !

Anyway, once it was all sorted I vowed that no one would have the same problem with me and I set about clearing out anything I had been keeping "just in case". I had a field day on eBay and actually raised enough for a 7 nighter on Oceana !

Trouble is, we have gradually slipped back into bad ways and the clutter is mounting again. Is it human nature....or am I turning into my Dad ?!

[suespud]

When I had to clear out my parents' home a few years ago I could not believe the amount of clutter they had accumulated. The few personal "treasures" were easy to deal with but the junk...oh, the junk! I knew they were "careful" but it was clear that they never threw anything out. We found probably every toaster they had ever owned, every little bit of cable, wire and electrical fitting that had, at some time been replaced, piles and piles of wood, bits of glass....I could go on all day! I am sure that they were all kept because "they might come in handy one day"! Quite what they old chap thought he would be able to do with 7 non-working toasters, I can only speculate !

Anyway, once it was all sorted I vowed that no one would have the same problem with me and I set about clearing out anything I had been keeping "just in case". I had a field day on eBay and actually raised enough for a 7 nighter on Oceana !

Trouble is, we have gradually slipped back into bad ways and the clutter is mounting again. Is it human nature....or am I turning into my Dad ?!

Ohh my word....lolol

That really made me laugh out loud !!!

My OH is like that with laptops. We have 8 old laptops. all none working.
We have the first laptops we bought for the kids..they cost a huge amount of money, so he wont throw them out!! They are under the drawer space at the bottom of the wardrobes.


I have just found some little knives..a set of six with Mother of Pearl handles, all wrapped up in aged tissue paper.
Iv never ever seen some of this stuff..goodness knows where it all came from!!

[Kendhni]

When my mother died we offered the entire contents of the house to 7 different charities ... all we got were pathetic excuses including the gem I have always remembered "nobody wants second hand furniture these days". In the end we hired a skip and dumped much of it with the bigger pieces going to an auction.

Sadly, into the skip went all my father tools, umpteen albums making up a stamp collection, dozens of Franklin Mint style plates, some china tea sets, umpteen pieces of waterford crystal and loads of old LPs and 78's (including some that we know were original pressings). The problem was that none of us had the room in our own houses to take it.

Good luck with the museum spud,

[paultheeagle]

There's always E Bay or

Have a look at... http://www.freecycle.org/......They seem quite good.

[Romig1]

I recently helped an elderly widow friend get rid of various items of furniture, prior to her moving away. Because it was mainly dating from the 1970's the charities wouldn't touch it - and we had to pay to have it collected and scrapped.

[Kendhni]

I have dealt with people from freecycle before and I am afraid I have said that I will never again put anything on freecycle.

Recently we managed to get rid of a full set of bedroom furniture simply by asking around ... I thought it would have been great for a teenagers room, but it appears any parents we asked did not want to give second hand good to their kids ... in the end through a friend of a friend we found a little old lady who had virtually nothing (long story) ... we got everything around and assembled for her including the carpet and underlay ... you would have thought she had just won the pools. Seeing the look of gratitude on her face was worth the effort.

[jay-ell71]

You would be amazed at what is saleable on EBay. Recently my OH, who is a terrible hoarder, got stuck in to EBay selling and was quite successful. A couple of very old items, a wind up gramophone, and a crocodile suitcase we sold for reasonable money, even a "Land" camera found a buyer. If you don't want to "E Bay" yourself you can get an agent to do it. (for a fee of course).

I even have a "cats' whisker" radio that my father made, I have no idea what to do with it, perhaps we should try that on EBay.

If it was up to me, I would get a skip in and dump a whole lot of "stuff", but Himself wont hear of it. I believe, we should leave as little as possible for our offspring to deal with. However I don't think there is a conclusive answer to the problem of what is one person's precious object is another's junk. Jay

[paultheeagle]

Ken....You obviously had a bad experience with freecycle...Perhaps your local group are not very good...I expect that like anything else, some groups are good and others are bad....I know someone that cleared out their garage in a weekend using freecycle and I know others that swear by them as well.

They must be worth a look if you are having a clear out.

[Kendhni]

You are probably right, Paul ... but when you get people who can't be bothered to turn up, people who think I should be paying for the honour of them taking stuff away, and people openly talking in front of you about selling 'your junk' on eBay ... I am afraid I would prefer to put it in a skip.

[paultheeagle]

Ken if that happened to me then I would probably feel the same but that does not sound like frrecycle to me.

[Jacknian]

It is really sad having to throw away your parents treasures that they have collected through their whole lifetime, but no one has the room to assimilate another lot of household possessions, into their home. When my dad died last year we had the same problem as qbman1, he had never thrown anything away for about 50 years ! It wasn't only the house though, there was a garage full of wood, tools, boxes of electric sockets and plugs, metres and metres of wire, etc etc. then a shed with garden tools but not just one of everything, he had 4 spades, 3 forks, hundreds of pots, sheets and sheets of bubble wrap, ( he used to cover his early veg with it ) multiple bags of potting compost, and tons of rubbish. Then a greenhouse with more stuff . The furniture wasn't too much of a problem, the heart foundation have recently opened a big new shop in our area and they took most of it and let us know when it was sold and for how much. But it was all the other stuff, a few valuable things went to auction and the rest is now sitting in my sisters and my garages waiting for us to go to some car boot sales with it when the weather improves. It feels wrong to throw things away but some of it just had to go in a skip. My children will sell or throw away my possessions when I'm gone I know, and I don't blame them so I'm trying to be a bit more selective about what I keep now and am slowly clearing cupboards the loft etc. I'd hate them to have the same difficult job that we've had.

[Gill W]

It is very difficult to dispose of your parents or other loved ones possessions.

When my parents died I brought home the nicer things, and had the rest collected by a house clearer.

Over the last few years I've been generally de-cluttering my life, so I've sold most of the remaining stuff from my parents on eBay. It pleases me that someone else is going to enjoy the stuff, and it makes it easier to let it go.

I'm going to have another sift through the remaining few boxes very soon, as I feel that the time has come to let more things go, so I hope to be left with only things with great sentimental value.

What I have learnt in the last few years is that you don't need 'things' to remember your parents, all you need are your thoughts and memories.

[suespud]

It is very difficult to dispose of your parents or other loved ones possessions.

When my parents died I brought home the nicer things, and had the rest collected by a house clearer.

Over the last few years I've been generally de-cluttering my life, so I've sold most of the remaining stuff from my parents on eBay. It pleases me that someone else is going to enjoy the stuff, and it makes it easier to let it go.

I'm going to have another sift through the remaining few boxes very soon, as I feel that the time has come to let more things go, so I hope to be left with only things with great sentimental value.

What I have learnt in the last few years is that you don't need 'things' to remember your parents, all you need are your thoughts and memories.

I am learning that Gill. Its just touching some of the things that I know my mam collected, then handled and treasured has made me reluctant to part with them.

BUT......the lady from the Museum has been and took nine pieces of the glass collection and my mam will be credited for them in the display unit when it opens in June.
We will also get a invitation to a preview night to make sure we are happy with the display.
The lady also gave me the name of a collector who would be interested in a lot of the rest of the "stuff"