Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Friday morning "Morning All"
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Stephen
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Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

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It's Friday Fun Time :D


As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon. His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road. He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk.

"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.

"It's quite simple," said the receptionist. "This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."

"Cool," said the guy, "count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays."

He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry, you've had two warnings!"

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oldbluefox
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Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

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The Helium Beer Test - totally daft!!
I was taught to be cautious

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oldbluefox wrote:
The Helium Beer Test - totally daft!!
:lol: Where can you but it :lol:

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With obesity being linked to unhealthy processed foods, Tesco is once again having to deny that its ready-meals have a high-Shergar content.

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Untitled.jpg


Ray Scully
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Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

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A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane..

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"



The woman nodded,
"Pepper."

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How is the UK population increasing when the milkman is all but extinct.

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Man dies jumping from motorway bridge after Chris Eubank fails to talk him down.

Inquest verdict: Thuithide.

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oldbluefox
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Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing.
He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.
The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.
So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area".
The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way." So he continued on his way.
However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once!
Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.

And so began the practice of hiring asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
I was taught to be cautious

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oldbluefox
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Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

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I like long walks, Especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I was taught to be cautious

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oldbluefox
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Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

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Missing.jpg
I was taught to be cautious

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Good one Foxy :lol: :lol: looks exactly like our Monty. I'll just check to see if he's still about. :lol:

I showed this to the good lady who has the sense of humour of a rocking horse :sarcasm:

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oldbluefox
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Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

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Stephen wrote:
Good one Foxy :lol: :lol: looks exactly like our Monty. I'll just check to see if he's still about. :lol:
Look in the window!!
Stephen wrote:
I showed this to the good lady who has the sense of humour of a rocking horse :sarcasm:
Must be a woman thing as I had to explain it to my wife. :roll:
I was taught to be cautious


Ray Scully
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Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

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oldbluefox wrote:
Stephen wrote:
Good one Foxy :lol: looks exactly like our Monty. I'll just check to see if he's still about. :lol:
Look in the window!!
Stephen wrote:
I showed this to the good lady who has the sense of humour of a rocking horse :sarcasm:
Must be a woman thing as I had to explain it to my wife. :roll:

Just goes to show that the good Lord new what he was doing with the Adam & Eve thing. He gave blokes a sense of humour in order that they would be able to cope with their female partners. For the ladies it wasn't needed :lolno:

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