Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A guy sitting at a bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him.
He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an off duty flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan:
"Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself:
"Damn, she doesn't work for Delta."
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head.
He leaned towards her again,
"Something special in the air?"
She gave him the same confused look.
He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.
Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan:
"Smooth as Silk."
This time the woman turned on him,
"What the f**k do you want?"
The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said
"Ahhhhh, EasyJet".
He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an off duty flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan:
"Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself:
"Damn, she doesn't work for Delta."
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head.
He leaned towards her again,
"Something special in the air?"
She gave him the same confused look.
He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.
Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan:
"Smooth as Silk."
This time the woman turned on him,
"What the f**k do you want?"
The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said
"Ahhhhh, EasyJet".
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12527
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12527
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
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Silver_Shiney
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 17018
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.
She replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't p*ss me off!"
She replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't p*ss me off!"
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
"You fancy my best friend, don't you?" asked my wife.
"If given the choice..." I replied, "I'd rather have sex with you then her."
"You mean 'than'."
"No."
"If given the choice..." I replied, "I'd rather have sex with you then her."
"You mean 'than'."
"No."
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Not so ancient mariner
- First Officer
- Posts: 1806
- Joined: February 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Two French paratroopers were seconded to the S A S for special training.
After the first day they met up in the bar. “ Ah, Francois," asks one,
"'ow 'av you been doing?"
"Merde!" answers Francois. "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! A
t seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant.
‘E dragged me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."
“And zen what 'appened?"
"I will tell you what 'appened! ‘E made me climb urp zis seely leetle
platform two metres off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"
“And did you jurmp?"
"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp Two
metres. Eet is beneath my dignity.’ ”
“And zen what 'appened?"
“Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five metres off ze
ground, and 'e said "Jurmp."
“ And did you jurmp?"
"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp five
metres. Eet is beneath my dignity’."
“What 'appened zen?"
"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform thirty metres above ze
parade ground.
‘E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely,
and 'e said
'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burme!'"
"Sacre Bleu, mon ami. And did you jurmp?”
" A leetle, at ze beginning."
After the first day they met up in the bar. “ Ah, Francois," asks one,
"'ow 'av you been doing?"
"Merde!" answers Francois. "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! A
t seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant.
‘E dragged me out of bed and on to ze parade ground."
“And zen what 'appened?"
"I will tell you what 'appened! ‘E made me climb urp zis seely leetle
platform two metres off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"
“And did you jurmp?"
"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp Two
metres. Eet is beneath my dignity.’ ”
“And zen what 'appened?"
“Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five metres off ze
ground, and 'e said "Jurmp."
“ And did you jurmp?"
"I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp five
metres. Eet is beneath my dignity’."
“What 'appened zen?"
"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform thirty metres above ze
parade ground.
‘E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely,
and 'e said
'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burme!'"
"Sacre Bleu, mon ami. And did you jurmp?”
" A leetle, at ze beginning."
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
