Culinary disasters!

[The Tinker]

Talking about cooking on another thread and remembered my first 'roast dinner' when I got married.

It turned into a 3 course meal - veg first, then potatoes, then the meat - and, no, nobody told me they stuffed a plastic bag of stuff up its backside. We still laugh about it now and I can serve a mean roast dinner now - practice makes perfect.

Please share your culinary disasters as I am sure I cant be the only terrible cook on here!

[GillD46]

Just after we got married, I made a meat loaf, something neither of us was used to eating. Although it had good flavour, we hated it and to this day, 38 years later, Tony says there are birds in Yeovil that still can't get enough "lift" to fly!

Needless to say, I never made it again - and I actually became vegetarian!

[Quizzical Bob]

There was the time that 'we' made gravy with coffee granules instead of ...

[oldbluefox]

My in laws had never had pizza before so they bought one from the supermarket. They enjoyed the pizza but they found the white bit on the bottom a bit tough. Yes they had eaten the card base!!
Another time we bought them a toasted sandwich maker. One of their first attempts was a bacon toastie but they didn't think much to that. We then found out they had not pre-cooked the bacon so it was literally raw.
They never did get accustomed to new fangled ideas.

[Manoverboard]

Mobietta's first Apple Pie.

All the ingredients were prepared and the pastry rolled out etc but, ah, we didn't have a pie funnel.

We did however have a similar sized wooden salt sellar from Madeira which had a bright red cockerel plus some blue and yellow flowers painted on it .... perfect if you want a ' Psychedelic Pud '.

[oldbluefox]

The first meal my OH cooked for me was absolutely delicious. The only problem was I believe she thought she was cooking for an army. Not wanting to hurt her feelings I ploughed through the starter then the main course but by this time I was struggling. She then appeared with an apple crumble and custard and thankfully accepted just a very small portion would be sufficient!
Needless to say we are still together after 44 happy years but the portions are appreciably smaller.

[Stephen]

The first proper meal Mrs S made me was when she was living in the nurses home (calm down QB) when she was doing her training. I think it was beef stroganoff......made with parmesan cheese. I walked into the room and this revolting smell hit me. I've never smelt anything so disgusting, and she also had made enough for a small army. I couldn't even bring myself to try it.

Strangely, I love parmesan cheese now.

[CaroleF]

When I was a student sharing a house my friend and I were the only ones there on a Sunday - it was near the end of term and we were broke so our Sunday lunch consisted of one of those tinned Steak and Kidney pies and a packet of Birds Eye mixed vegetables - makes me shudder just to think of it now. Anyway my friend was in charge of making the gravy - Bisto! She should have put four teaspoonfuls of power in the jug - she put four tablespoons - you can imagine the result - would have stuck wall paper on beautifully!

[Mervyn and Trish]

I once, rather over ambitiously, decided I could do baked Alaska, a pile of ice cream covered in meringue and cooked (very quickly) in the oven.

Well a combination of taking too long covering with the meringue so the ice cream wasn't cold enough and an oven not hot enough so the meringue didn't crisp fast enough meant I ended up with no dessert and a major oven cleaning job after it all descended into a molten sticky pile at the bottom!

[Stephen]

If it was a Fray Bentos pie Carol, I use to like them. Haven't had one in years.

[Romig1]

If it was a Fray Bentos pie Carol, I use to like them. Haven't had one in years.

They sell em round here for less than a quid Stephen.

[qbman1]

Probably left over from when Stephen was at school !

[Romig1]

Probably left over from when Stephen was at school !

Nah...those are in the Imperial war Museum

[oldbluefox]

I love those Fray Bentos pies!!! I know they're rubbish but that pastry and gravy.................................
Can anybody tell me why, if you say you really like something you never end up having it again? Does that happen to anybody else?

[Manoverboard]

I love those Fray Bentos pies!!! I know they're rubbish but that pastry and gravy.................................

Et voila ... Frayed Ben Toss

ps .... you can have mine

[qbman1]

Do they still come in those tins that sever two fingers each time you try to open one ?

[Mervyn and Trish]

Those severed finger adds 50% to the meat content....

[Stephen]

If it was a Fray Bentos pie Carol, I use to like them. Haven't had one in years.

They sell em round here for less than a quid Stephen.

That doesn't surprise me. It's the staple diet with chips Oop North.

[Stephen]

Those severed finger adds 50% to the meat content....

[Stephen]

I love those Fray Bentos pies!!! I know they're rubbish but that pastry and gravy.................................
Can anybody tell me why, if you say you really like something you never end up having it again? Does that happen to anybody else?

Sex springs to mind.

[CaroleF]

Yes it was definitely Fray Bentos - and I'd forgotten about the lethal lid!

[qbman1]

I love those Fray Bentos pies!!! I know they're rubbish but that pastry and gravy.................................
Can anybody tell me why, if you say you really like something you never end up having it again? Does that happen to anybody else?

Sex springs to mind.

Must be all that pastry and gravy Stephen

[Mervyn and Trish]

Do you mean he's been reading "50 shades of gravy"?

[qbman1]

My, my, we are as sharp as a Fray Bentos lid today

[Mervyn and Trish]

As always my dear chap