You must be joking. It's bad enough as it is waking up with a 18" stiffy in the night and it pulling on the plumbingOnelife wrote:Hey Stephen...just had a thought....If it's still a bit sore when your wife gets back try asking her to rub it better for you....It might bring a little relief to your suffering.
Keep smiling
The Children's Off Topic Thread
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Stephen
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
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Onelife
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
18"?.....l hadn't realised you have a problem with your eyesight as well Stephen 
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Not so ancient mariner
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
You have my sympathy. I had a cystoscopy many years ago, and it felt like they had used a 35mm camera!!
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Stephen
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Your not wrong notsoNot so ancient mariner wrote:You have my sympathy. I had a cystoscopy many years ago, and it felt like they had used a 35mm camera!!
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Off to the vet again this evening. I think we'll be having an in-depth discussion about gabapentin !
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
I remember Victor Meldrew once had an endoscopy and he said it was like having an anaconda up his a*se !!Stephen wrote:Your not wrong notsoNot so ancient mariner wrote:You have my sympathy. I had a cystoscopy many years ago, and it felt like they had used a 35mm camera!!
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Stephen
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Proper April Showers today - first seasonal weather we've had all year !!
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Just setting off for home, en-route to the vet.
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Mervyn and Trish
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Never had any sort of snake up my a*se, thanks. And not starting now ta. Just saying. ............qbman1 wrote:I remember Victor Meldrew once had an endoscopy and he said it was like having an anaconda up his a*se !!Stephen wrote:Your not wrong notsoNot so ancient mariner wrote:You have my sympathy. I had a cystoscopy many years ago, and it felt like they had used a 35mm camera!!
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Mervyn and Trish
Topic author - Commodore

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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Crikey. I take that.qbman1 wrote:Off to the vet again this evening. I think we'll be having an in-depth discussion about gabapentin !
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Stephen
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
You'd better go with him MervMervyn and Trish wrote:Crikey. I take that.qbman1 wrote:Off to the vet again this evening. I think we'll be having an in-depth discussion about gabapentin !
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Happydays
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Hope all went smoothly and you had good news about your cat....qbman1 wrote:Off to the vet again this evening. I think we'll be having an in-depth discussion about gabapentin !
Sorry it's on topic!
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Saw Merv last night - he was at the vet's getting wormed.....!
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anniec
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
How is the little chap? Not Merv, the cat!
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Thanks for your interest. His ear infection (believed by the vet to be the cause of the fits) is clearing up thanks to the targeted antibiotics and steroids. He had a fit-free day yesterday and just a very mild one this morning so fingers crossed the treatment seems to be having an effect. I think he's secretly enjoying being mollycoddled! He's now on phenobarbital for the fits as well as steroids for his ears so we are hoping for the best after a few uncertain weeks.
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Stephen
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
That's good news. Plenty of well deserved TLC.
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
It's Mrs C and I that need that !!!!
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anniec
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
That's excellent news; let's hope the vet is correct and that it's caused by something that can be remedied.qbman1 wrote:Thanks for your interest. His ear infection (believed by the vet to be the cause of the fits) is clearing up thanks to the targeted antibiotics and steroids. He had a fit-free day yesterday and just a very mild one this morning so fingers crossed the treatment seems to be having an effect. I think he's secretly enjoying being mollycoddled! He's now on phenobarbital for the fits as well as steroids for his ears so we are hoping for the best after a few uncertain weeks.
Does he take the tablets ok? If not, I have several ruses that worked on my late cat; if they work, so much better than trying to force them down every day.
Fingers crossed.
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Thanks, Annie. He eats like a horse so we have no problem hiding the pills in his food. We just give him a small amount with the tablets so he scoffs the lot then give him more food as neededanniec wrote:That's excellent news; let's hope the vet is correct and that it's caused by something that can be remedied.qbman1 wrote:Thanks for your interest. His ear infection (believed by the vet to be the cause of the fits) is clearing up thanks to the targeted antibiotics and steroids. He had a fit-free day yesterday and just a very mild one this morning so fingers crossed the treatment seems to be having an effect. I think he's secretly enjoying being mollycoddled! He's now on phenobarbital for the fits as well as steroids for his ears so we are hoping for the best after a few uncertain weeks.The fits are horrid to witness.
Does he take the tablets ok? If not, I have several ruses that worked on my late cat; if they work, so much better than trying to force them down every day.
Fingers crossed.
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anniec
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Yes, ours ate like a horse as well, so no problems (wrapped them in cheap and nasty Tesco Value Cheddar, the stuff in a block that's all rubbery). He once ate most of an entire salmon intended for a buffet...
Only mentioned it because we've just had our daughter's cat here to stay, and giving her tablets was quite a challenge.
Only mentioned it because we've just had our daughter's cat here to stay, and giving her tablets was quite a challenge.
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qbman1
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
This still makes me smile:
How To Give Your Cat A Pill
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and apply gentle pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw away T-shirt and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring Fire Brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to miss cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get spouse to drive you to Casualty, sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes remnants of pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
How To Give Your Cat A Pill
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and apply gentle pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw away T-shirt and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring Fire Brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to miss cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get spouse to drive you to Casualty, sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes remnants of pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
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Manoverboard
- Ex Team Member
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Our ex cat would virtually kill for prawns ...
With staring eyes and claws extended into my wrist when gingerly offered such a delicacy. I would, therefore, cunningly mash up the pill with the prawns to entice him. Forget it, not remotely interested
With staring eyes and claws extended into my wrist when gingerly offered such a delicacy. I would, therefore, cunningly mash up the pill with the prawns to entice him. Forget it, not remotely interested
Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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qbman1
- Captain

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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Still a bit fresh outside - think I should leave me Speedos in the drawer for a bit longer !!
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Stephen
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Re: The Children's Off Topic Thread
Our cat use to have his monthly worm/flea treatment in tablet form, a hazardous procedure. We then found out we could give the same stuff using a pipette. Much easier AND safer.
FOR SALE
A pair of full length chainmale gloves, need attention
FOR SALE
A pair of full length chainmale gloves, need attention
Last edited by Stephen on 07 Apr 2016, 16:38, edited 2 times in total.