"A gentleman never addresses a lady as Ms."

[suespud]

Well I guess we belong to the point and shoot brigade these days Boris although when I say we I mean my OH as I don't even know how the camera switches on he still has some of his earlier cameras which took a certain amount of skill to get the best results but just isn't that interested these days as he once was so the point and shoot is just fine.

I just find it very weird that anyone would be clocking what 'equipment' others have when they are waiting to check in, I'm not usually sat around that long to be clocking anything let alone recognise anyone on board unless it happens to be someone I might have been chatting to.

Anyway maybe you should start a photography thread so you can share all your 'pearls of wisdom' with the forum as this is going 'way off topic' now so how would you like to be known .. Mrs David Bailey has a nice ring to it

That is another of my pet hates to receive a letter addressed to Mrs ( husbands christian name ) Surname .. what is that all about

As far as I know - this husband's first name business is something to do with at least as far back as Victorian times, and then a woman might be for instance Mrs John Smith, until her husband died and then she would signal the change in her situation by using her first name, so she might be Mrs Sally Smith.

As far as photography goes, I've only got into it seriously in the digital age, and it's great because it means nice long walks - so it's a fitness thing too.

Regarding taking note of what equipment other passengers have got at check-in - I wouldn't have noticed but for the fuss the people made (posing etc). I don't hang about at check-in and head straight for the ship, but sometimes inasmuch as you sometimes can't help but notice people flaunting huge fashion handbags or repeatedly going to and fro for a coffee or magazine, parading around, I can't help but notice people posing around with cameras. Anyway - it passes the time, albeit short.

You seem very intolerant of people Boris, laughing at people who have cameras, people "posing" around with cameras, accusing others of "flaunting" handbags (big bags are the "in" thing) others "parading" around. All this in the short time you check in.(you have mentioned about you dont wait long to check in)
You posted earlier about respecting others.
Maybe it might be nice practice what you preach and respect others going about their business, without you laughing at or judging them.

[GillD46]

Oh dear. Guilty of the point and shoot camera and guilty of big bags. Actually guilty of huge bags! Don't feel the need to pose. Not sure how you do that.

[wolfie]

The one thing I REALLY, REALLY HATE is being addressed as "love". I will always cringe and have been known to reply that I am NOT that person's "love"

I have often been called "darling" by ladies. Does it mean that they want to divest me of my undergarments to have carnival knowledge of me?!? No, and they would be horrified if they thought I had taken it way. They're just using the word in the same sense as me calling a man "mate".

So, sweetheart, if you have a problem with being called "love", then, dear lady, you have a problem.

"Mate, sweetheart, love, darling, dear lady." I find them all insulting when I do not know the person. Those terms, IMO, are reserved for loved ones and close friends and NOT any Tom, d**k or Harry who may cross my path on a day to day basis. I call my OH love or darling and many other things!!! BUT I don't wish to be called that by others.

Don't get me going regarding the prevalent use of the term, 'guys'.

[wolfie]

That is another of my pet hates to receive a letter addressed to Mrs ( husbands christian name ) Surname .. what is that all about

Hi Jo - I can help you with this - I trained as a shorthand typist (many moons ago lol) and there were rules of etiquette for addressing a letter and at that time this was the correct way to address a married woman - if she divorced or became a widow then you would use her christian name. I'm surprised this form of address is still used particularly with women being able to do so much in their own right these days.

Jan, although it IS the correct form of address, IMO, it is now outdated, as you suggest. I refuse to use it now, I am me and not a chattel.

[wolfie]

Well I guess we belong to the point and shoot brigade these days Boris although when I say we I mean my OH as I don't even know how the camera switches on he still has some of his earlier cameras which took a certain amount of skill to get the best results but just isn't that interested these days as he once was so the point and shoot is just fine.

I just find it very weird that anyone would be clocking what 'equipment' others have when they are waiting to check in, I'm not usually sat around that long to be clocking anything let alone recognise anyone on board unless it happens to be someone I might have been chatting to.

Anyway maybe you should start a photography thread so you can share all your 'pearls of wisdom' with the forum as this is going 'way off topic' now so how would you like to be known .. Mrs David Bailey has a nice ring to it

That is another of my pet hates to receive a letter addressed to Mrs ( husbands christian name ) Surname .. what is that all about

As far as I know - this husband's first name business is something to do with at least as far back as Victorian times, and then a woman might be for instance Mrs John Smith, until her husband died and then she would signal the change in her situation by using her first name, so she might be Mrs Sally Smith.

As far as photography goes, I've only got into it seriously in the digital age, and it's great because it means nice long walks - so it's a fitness thing too.

Regarding taking note of what equipment other passengers have got at check-in - I wouldn't have noticed but for the fuss the people made (posing etc). I don't hang about at check-in and head straight for the ship, but sometimes inasmuch as you sometimes can't help but notice people flaunting huge fashion handbags or repeatedly going to and fro for a coffee or magazine, parading around, I can't help but notice people posing around with cameras. Anyway - it passes the time, albeit short.

After 18 + cruises I have never seen photographs being taken by those at check in.

[Silver_Shiney]

The one thing I REALLY, REALLY HATE is being addressed as "love". I will always cringe and have been known to reply that I am NOT that person's "love"

I have often been called "darling" by ladies. Does it mean that they want to divest me of my undergarments to have carnival knowledge of me?!? No, and they would be horrified if they thought I had taken it way. They're just using the word in the same sense as me calling a man "mate".

So, sweetheart, if you have a problem with being called "love", then, dear lady, you have a problem.

"Mate, sweetheart, love, darling, dear lady." I find them all insulting when I do not know the person. Those terms, IMO, are reserved for loved ones and close friends and NOT any Tom, d**k or Harry who may cross my path on a day to day basis. I call my OH love or darling and many other things!!! BUT I don't wish to be called that by others.

Don't get me going regarding the prevalent use of the term, 'guys'.

I certainly agree with you on your last comment. I hate it when it's used to address women

[Boris+]

Well I guess we belong to the point and shoot brigade these days Boris although when I say we I mean my OH as I don't even know how the camera switches on he still has some of his earlier cameras which took a certain amount of skill to get the best results but just isn't that interested these days as he once was so the point and shoot is just fine.

I just find it very weird that anyone would be clocking what 'equipment' others have when they are waiting to check in, I'm not usually sat around that long to be clocking anything let alone recognise anyone on board unless it happens to be someone I might have been chatting to.

Anyway maybe you should start a photography thread so you can share all your 'pearls of wisdom' with the forum as this is going 'way off topic' now so how would you like to be known .. Mrs David Bailey has a nice ring to it

That is another of my pet hates to receive a letter addressed to Mrs ( husbands christian name ) Surname .. what is that all about

As far as I know - this husband's first name business is something to do with at least as far back as Victorian times, and then a woman might be for instance Mrs John Smith, until her husband died and then she would signal the change in her situation by using her first name, so she might be Mrs Sally Smith.

As far as photography goes, I've only got into it seriously in the digital age, and it's great because it means nice long walks - so it's a fitness thing too.

Regarding taking note of what equipment other passengers have got at check-in - I wouldn't have noticed but for the fuss the people made (posing etc). I don't hang about at check-in and head straight for the ship, but sometimes inasmuch as you sometimes can't help but notice people flaunting huge fashion handbags or repeatedly going to and fro for a coffee or magazine, parading around, I can't help but notice people posing around with cameras. Anyway - it passes the time, albeit short.

After 18 + cruises I have never seen photographs being taken by those at check in.

I didn't say that people were taking photos at check-in ...... but sometimes people go and try and take photos of the ship's hull from the dep lounge (especially so in Ocean Terminal). I couldn't help but notice people who strut up and down with their cameras (I always carry mine in a bag (designed for photographic equipment) which doesn't have any 'branding' on it, so nobody knows what is in the bag. Could even be check-in sarnies!

[Boris+]

Getting back on topic, this man who addresses women as 'Ms' - well firstly, I have to ask, given some of the names you read of - how does the man know that the person (unless he has met her, in which case he should know what to do) is female? Can you guarantee that somebody with a first name of Jo, Jan, Bobby, Wils is either male or female? If you can't guarantee that the person being written to is female, then what do should you do - just use the name without any prefix?

On the subject of prefixes/titles though - my favourite one is 'Mrs'.

[Silver_Shiney]

Getting back on topic, this man who addresses women as 'Ms' - well firstly, I have to ask, given some of the names you read of - how does the man know that the person (unless he has met her, in which case he should know what to do) is female? Can you guarantee that somebody with a first name of Jo, Jan, Bobby, Wils is either male or female? If you can't guarantee that the person being written to is female, then what do should you do - just use the name without any prefix?

On the subject of prefixes/titles though - my favourite one is 'Mrs'.

Good point. A man shouldn't call himself Jo, though, the correct spelling is Joe. Sometimes I'll Google the person's full name to see if I can find them and thus gain a clue to gender. Otherwise I use "Mr" and hope to be corrected.

[oldbluefox]

I can't see that anybody who signs themselves Jo or Jan (unless they are clearly foreign) could be anything but female.

If there is any confusion about title, gender or identity I'm afraid I resort to Sir or Madam. To some extent I blame women who created Ms probably because they objected to being a Miss. However in any correspondence it would help if there was some indication how they would prefer to be addressed.

I also dislike being referred to as 'you guys'. It's appropriate for a group of school kids but hardly right for a band of pensioners. Basically it comes across as disrespectful.

[Silver_Shiney]

I can't see that anybody who signs themselves Jo or Jan (unless they are clearly foreign) could be anything but female.

If there is any confusion about title, gender or identity I'm afraid I resort to Sir or Madam. To some extent I blame women who created Ms probably because they objected to being a Miss. However in any correspondence it would help if there was some indication how they would prefer to be addressed.

I also dislike being referred to as 'you guys'. It's appropriate for a group of school kids but hardly right for a band of pensioners. Basically it comes across as disrespectful.

quite so

[suespud]

I can't see that anybody who signs themselves Jo or Jan (unless they are clearly foreign) could be anything but female.

If there is any confusion about title, gender or identity I'm afraid I resort to Sir or Madam. To some extent I blame women who created Ms probably because they objected to being a Miss. However in any correspondence it would help if there was some indication how they would prefer to be addressed.

I also dislike being referred to as 'you guys'. It's appropriate for a group of school kids but hardly right for a band of pensioners. Basically it comes across as disrespectful.

I reckon I must be the odd one out here ( Do NOT comment Foxy... )
As long as the words are spoken in a friendly and polite way I dont have a problem with any of them.
I just dont get hung up on such things.
(and I am almost.... a pensioner)

[Onelife]

Whether it be formal or informal l generally greet people with a ...'Hello' there, or 'Hi' there....With of course a welcoming smile.....job done!!

[qbman1]

I usually address Mrs C as Ma'am or Your Majesty !!

[anniec]

Getting back on topic, this man who addresses women as 'Ms' - well firstly, I have to ask, given some of the names you read of - how does the man know that the person (unless he has met her, in which case he should know what to do) is female? Can you guarantee that somebody with a first name of Jo, Jan, Bobby, Wils is either male or female? If you can't guarantee that the person being written to is female, then what do should you do - just use the name without any prefix?

On the subject of prefixes/titles though - my favourite one is 'Mrs'.

Good point. A man shouldn't call himself Jo, though, the correct spelling is Joe. Sometimes I'll Google the person's full name to see if I can find them and thus gain a clue to gender. Otherwise I use "Mr" and hope to be corrected.

I give you Jo Grimond and Jo Johnson(brother of Boris).

[Dancing Queen]

I usually address Mrs C as Ma'am or Your Majesty !!

Know your place is what I say cubie, it sounds as if your wife has 'trained' you well

[qbman1]

It's just plain fear DQ !

[Onelife]

Squeak! Squeak!!!!

[Meg 50]

As far as I know - this husband's first name business is something to do with at least as far back as Victorian times, and then a woman might be for instance Mrs John Smith, until her husband died and then she would signal the change in her situation by using her first name, so she might be Mrs Sally Smith.

As I understand it once married - even widowed - you are Mrs Husband's-christian-name Bloggs - only on divorce did you become Mrs Sally Bloggs

[Dancing Queen]

It's just plain fear DQ !

Yep thought so looks as if Onelife shares your fear with his comment too

[Meg 50]

Good point. A man shouldn't call himself Jo, though, the correct spelling is Joe. Sometimes I'll Google the person's full name to see if I can find them and thus gain a clue to gender. Otherwise I use "Mr" and hope to be corrected.

I run children's fundays, and one child booked in with a name I was unsure of gender-wise - so I googled and decided it was male.
On the day, I gave out the group lists to the key-workers and one said,"but that child's a girl"
Me: Nah, I googled it, defo a boy.
Key-worker: No, defo a girl - she's in my daughter's class at school

the forms now have a boy/girl question added

[Silver_Shiney]

er, no thanks, Annie

[qbman1]

The name's Philippa !

[Dancing Queen]

Getting back on topic, this man who addresses women as 'Ms' - well firstly, I have to ask, given some of the names you read of - how does the man know that the person (unless he has met her, in which case he should know what to do) is female? Can you guarantee that somebody with a first name of Jo, Jan, Bobby, Wils is either male or female? If you can't guarantee that the person being written to is female, then what do should you do - just use the name without any prefix?

On the subject of prefixes/titles though - my favourite one is 'Mrs'.

Good point. A man shouldn't call himself Jo, though, the correct spelling is Joe. Sometimes I'll Google the person's full name to see if I can find them and thus gain a clue to gender. Otherwise I use "Mr" and hope to be corrected.

I give you Jo Grimond and Jo Johnson(brother of Boris).

I would always assume Jo spelt without the 'e' was female but not always the case as you have pointed out anniec, Jan is another unless of course the person was Dutch ( used quite frequently I believe for Dutch males as a prefix to their names ) I will stand corrected if I've got that one wrong.

I do wonder with some of these names if it is just people who don't know how they should be spelt .. assuming of course our way is the correct way, I tend to use my name in full when signing anything just so there is no misunderstanding.

So many names these days where they could be either/or ..

Dan .. Daniel/Danny - Danielle/Dannie/Dani.

Bill ( as an alternative to William ) Bill/Billy - Billy/Billie.

Sam .. Samuel/Samantha/Sammy.

Pat .. Patrick/Patricia/Patsy, believe it or not we had a boy at school who was called Patsy, my brother knew him better than me and to this day he still refers to him by that name.

Chris .. Christopher/Christine/Christy and some even spell it with a K and without the h.

Don't even get me started on some of the 'new names' that have appeared in recent years even with the full correct spelling it could be either/or.

[qbman1]

I've even got a niece, Sandra, who calls herself "Sam"

And I'm with you on the new "names" DQ whether gender-specific or not

Archer
Skye
Jagger
Everest
Kenya

I could go on all day......Aaargh !