Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time

My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants...

Guess, I won't be needing those anymore.

[qbman1]

And a very good nornin to you as well !

[Stephen]

Untitled.jpg

[Mervyn and Trish]

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman’s uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.

After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full.

[Stephen]

An old man wanted to hire a hit man to kill his wife.
He met up in a bar and the hitman said "I will shoot her just below her left t*t!"


He said "I want her dead, not knee capped !!"

[oldbluefox]

I decided to go to the local mosque at Lakemba in western Sydney for the first time to see what it was all about.
I sat down and the Imam came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said:
"By the will of Allah and the prophet Mohammed - you will walk today."
I told him I wasn't paralyzed, I only had a small bunion on my left foot.
He came back and laid his hands on me and looking skywards, earnestly repeated his mantra:
"By the will of Allah and the prophet Mohammed - you will walk today."
Once again, I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After prayers I stepped outside and b------- me,
MY CAR WAS GONE!!!!

[oldbluefox]

A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produce photos of their 50 foot motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then become doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.They then ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon!!!”

[Stephen]

I can hear music coming out of my printer.

I think the papers jammin' again.

[Mervyn and Trish]

FB_IMG_1472898585428.jpg

[gfwgfw]

An old man wanted to hire a hit man to kill his wife.
He met up in a bar and the hitman said "I will shoot her just below her left t*t!"


He said "I want her dead, not knee capped !!"

Hey Hoeee

My Ferrets were laughing out loud all the way to the rural Darzet bunny warrens

Have yourself a jolly weekend

Lubbooo all

The Giant of Cerne Abbas

[qbman1]

CrqyIeXXEAAyk58.jpg

[qbman1]

A little boy was found crying in Tesco in Sparkbrook in Birmingham.

When asked what was wrong, he told the security guard that he had lost his mum.

"What does she look like ?" asked the security guy.

"I don't know" sobbed the boy.

A moment later his mother came down the aisle...

12.jpg

[qbman1]

In response to all recent e-mails about our dog............................. Please be advised, we are sick and tired of answering questions about him.

Yes it’s true he bit:-


Two people wearing burkas:

Ten people wearing turbans,

Twenty people wearing Jeremy Corbyn T-shirts,

Two car drivers with rap music blaring from their vehicles,

Four Jehovah's Witnesses,

Two Mormons,

Nine teenagers with ripped jeans hanging past their a*se,

Three Muslims and a Pakistani taxi driver.


For the last time. . .the dog is NOT for sale!

[Stephen]

Go away, you're too early. Come back tomorrow

[qbman1]

I'm not here tomorrow - you can copy them over if you want !

[Stephen]

I'm not here tomorrow- you can copy them over if you want !

Really.

Sorry to hear that.

[qbman1]

You'll miss me when I'm gone !

[Mervyn and Trish]

If you say so....