A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.
Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse! Mickey Mouse!"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout
"Donald, duck!"
A recently widowed Jewish lady named Sarah, was sitting on a beach towel at Brighton.
She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied, and again turned back to his book.
"Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Hove," he answered, and then resumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most torrid seeing too of her life!
As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
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