It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A SWEET ELDERLY LADY SAYING A PRAYER:
“Dear Lord, the past couple of years have been very tough for me.
You’ve taken –
My favourite actor, Patrick Macnee
My favourite horror actor, Christopher Lee
My favourite comedian, Robin Williams
My favourite singers, Glenn Frey, Tom Petty and David Bowie
My favourite author, Tom Clancy
And finally, my favourite presenter Sir Terry Wogan.
So Lord, I just wanted you to know that my favourite politicians are:
Tony Blair, Jeremy Corbyn, Dianne Abbott, Peter Mandelson, Jacob Zuma and that stupid loud mouth cow from Scotland.
“Dear Lord, the past couple of years have been very tough for me.
You’ve taken –
My favourite actor, Patrick Macnee
My favourite horror actor, Christopher Lee
My favourite comedian, Robin Williams
My favourite singers, Glenn Frey, Tom Petty and David Bowie
My favourite author, Tom Clancy
And finally, my favourite presenter Sir Terry Wogan.
So Lord, I just wanted you to know that my favourite politicians are:
Tony Blair, Jeremy Corbyn, Dianne Abbott, Peter Mandelson, Jacob Zuma and that stupid loud mouth cow from Scotland.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
This guy finally gets the chance to bed a woman he's fancied for ages but just as they start to undress each other she says " I must tell you that I'm a little flat chested, I hope you dont mind".
"Nonsense" he says, "You've got nice tits", but as he peels off her padded bra, he notices that she's as flat as a pancake.
"Don't worry, I must tell you that I'm hung like a baby down there" he replies.
So she peels his underpants off and is confronted by the biggest whanger she's ever seen.
"I thought you were hung like a baby" she said.
"I am" he replies," nine pounds four ounces and eighteen inches long"
"Nonsense" he says, "You've got nice tits", but as he peels off her padded bra, he notices that she's as flat as a pancake.
"Don't worry, I must tell you that I'm hung like a baby down there" he replies.
So she peels his underpants off and is confronted by the biggest whanger she's ever seen.
"I thought you were hung like a baby" she said.
"I am" he replies," nine pounds four ounces and eighteen inches long"
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
-
Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Paddy's fingers
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all
10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in Cork's hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see
what oi can do'.
Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers? Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2018!
We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have
put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?'
Paddy's reply . .
'How da fock was I 'spose to pick them up!!!
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all
10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in Cork's hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see
what oi can do'.
Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers? Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2018!
We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have
put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?'
Paddy's reply . .
'How da fock was I 'spose to pick them up!!!