Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 08:45

It's Friday Fun Time

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 08:46

BREAKING NEWS
England fans get sun loungers at hotel pool in Russia.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 10:07

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 10:09

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend this morning who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic". "Wow!" I was flabbergasted.

"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!
Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"
So I told her to s*d off.

Unread post by **Onelife** » 29 Jun 2018, 10:18

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?" The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out; he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen." The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?" The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to pull out my penis, go, and return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time." Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?" "Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon

Unread post by **Onelife** » 29 Jun 2018, 10:30

Stephen wrote: 29 Jun 2018, 08:45

It's Friday Fun Time

36294292_1674914359224775_2870980118895919104_n.jpg

Yeah. ...and this is the reason Theresa May's 'would be back stabbers' should think twice before doing the dirty deed.....We could end up with her making the decisions.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 11:27

Macron to bring back National Service.
How hard can waving a white flag be?

Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 11:28

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Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 29 Jun 2018, 14:38

Donald.jpg

Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 15:43

If money can't buy love, then why do dating websites charge

Unread post by **Stephen** » 29 Jun 2018, 15:44

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