Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 08:30

It's Friday Fun Time

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 08:31

Diane Abbott has been asked what she thinks of VAR?. She said Labour will keep it at 12.5%

Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 10:00

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 10:00

I was asked in class today about how I viewed lesbian relationships... ...Apparently 'in 4K ultra high definition' wasn't the right answer

Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 15:45

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 15:46

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Jewish pickle factory.

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?

Yossel replied, "I think she got fired, too."

Unread post by **Onelife** » 06 Jul 2018, 16:02

Unread post by **Onelife** » 06 Jul 2018, 16:02

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!” Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom liked it!” Finally, the guy interrupts. “Go home, dad, you’re drunk.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 16:55

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 06 Jul 2018, 16:57

My mate from Liverpool has just started work in a local slaughterhouse, stunning the animals... They've never seen a scouser with a job before!

Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 06 Jul 2018, 22:12

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Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 06 Jul 2018, 22:12

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 07 Jul 2018, 08:05

Jack

Good one Foxy

Unread post by **Mervyn and Trish** » 07 Jul 2018, 20:19

What about the World Cup eh?

Last time the Germans left Russia so quickly was in 1945!

Unread post by **Mervyn and Trish** » 07 Jul 2018, 22:00

The British call it a queue.

The Americans call it a line.

The Germans don't have a word for it.

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 08 Jul 2018, 11:58

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 08 Jul 2018, 12:37

Good one Ray

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 08 Jul 2018, 16:35

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Unread post by **Mervyn and Trish** » 10 Jul 2018, 11:01

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