Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 08:55

It's Friday Fun Time

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 08:56

I was on safari in Zambia and we were on foot, looking for lions.
"Mabwe," I said to my guide. "What should I do if a lion suddenly appears before us in the brush?"
"Just stand still boss," he replied. "He won't attack you."
"But what if he does?"
"Then run away, zig-zagging through the trees so as to confuse him."
"But what if there are no trees?"
"Then run as fast as you can back to the jeep and get a rifle."
"But what if he catches up with me before I get back to the jeep?"
"Then reach down, pick some sh*t off the ground and rub it in his eyes. That will blind him and give you a chance to escape."
"But what if there's no sh*t on the ground?"
"Believe me, there will be."

Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 11:39

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 11:40

The wife and I were out having dinner with a group of old friends.

My mate who's son got hooked on herion at university a few years ago said "you know it's such a shame how things turned out for my lad, he had worked so hard, his whole future was looking bright and stretching out in front of him, then one small bag destroyed his life"

I looked at the wife and thought "I know exactly what you mean mate"

Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 13:47

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 13:47

Having just seen half the staff, I now understand why they call it Currys.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 17:10

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 11 Jan 2019, 17:10

Andy Murray's wife has issued a statement that she is looking forward to Andy being able to spend a lot more time with his mum.

Unread post by **gfwgfw** » 11 Jan 2019, 17:44

It must be Friday

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 12 Jan 2019, 12:37

Joke 01.jpg

Unread post by **david63** » 12 Jan 2019, 13:06

Isn't something aimed at 4+ a bit too advanced for Trump?

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 12 Jan 2019, 13:22

david63 wrote: 12 Jan 2019, 13:06
Isn't something aimed at 4+ a bit too advanced for Trump?

It was a gift from Bojo, who couldn't figure it out.

Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 14 Jan 2019, 16:38

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