It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
“Hello, 08454647, NHS Helpline, how may I help you ?”
“My wife has been bitten by a snake”
“Sir, can you describe the snake for me, please”
“Well, err, it was pale green with a sort of zig zag pattern on it’s back”
“Okay sir, that sounds like an adder, Britain’s only dangerous snake, she will need medical treatment, an ambulance will with you shortly, but there is something you can do to help her”
“Yes, anything, just tell me”
“Sir, you will have to suck out the venom”
“What, I can’t do that”
“Sir you have to, she might die if your don’t”
“...but....if I suck out the venom there will be nothing left !”
“My wife has been bitten by a snake”
“Sir, can you describe the snake for me, please”
“Well, err, it was pale green with a sort of zig zag pattern on it’s back”
“Okay sir, that sounds like an adder, Britain’s only dangerous snake, she will need medical treatment, an ambulance will with you shortly, but there is something you can do to help her”
“Yes, anything, just tell me”
“Sir, you will have to suck out the venom”
“What, I can’t do that”
“Sir you have to, she might die if your don’t”
“...but....if I suck out the venom there will be nothing left !”
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I don't think Ireland has yet grasped the concept of electric cars.
Their garages have electricity priced up at £5.00 a gallon.
Their garages have electricity priced up at £5.00 a gallon.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Police called to London home as crazed tenant refuses to leave.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I started chatting up a girl last night in the pub. Used the old, “Get your coat love, you’ve pulled.” And “Your place or mine?” lines.
She said, “Listen creep, I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth.”
I said, “Listen love, if I was the last man on Earth, you’d have no say in the matter.”
Think that told the feisty bitch ... probably a lesbo anyway.
On a separate note, anyone know how to get red wine out of a white suit?
She said, “Listen creep, I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth.”
I said, “Listen love, if I was the last man on Earth, you’d have no say in the matter.”
Think that told the feisty bitch ... probably a lesbo anyway.
On a separate note, anyone know how to get red wine out of a white suit?
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Asked the Apprentice at our office to trim some drawings down to make them more manageable for the architects to use on site.
He spent hours cutting them freehand and wobbly with some scissors.
The boss went mad and shouted "after lunch take him to the print room and show him how we use the guilliotine".
Little bu99er was so scared he never came back.
He spent hours cutting them freehand and wobbly with some scissors.
The boss went mad and shouted "after lunch take him to the print room and show him how we use the guilliotine".
Little bu99er was so scared he never came back.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
As chairman of the blind society, I've been accused of needlessly waisting money.
So I've arranged a fireworks display to cheer everyone up!
So I've arranged a fireworks display to cheer everyone up!
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gfwgfw
- First Officer
- Posts: 1854
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Poole Bay, Dorset
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Hey Ho Stephen .. . .
Do have a splendid sun filled holiday weekend
Do have a splendid sun filled holiday weekend
Gentle Giant of Cerne Abbas 
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 17021
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I can give you the vet's number if you want to try it.....
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17760
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
No thanks, I'm off of luxuries this week.
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12533
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I was taught to be cautious