Just arrived home early from work and saw some thieving b*stard that had been trying to break in to my house. He managed to escape by hopping over the neighbor's gardens.
I'm proud of my wife though, she must have put up some fight cos she's half naked, covered in sweat and can hardly walk.
I've been put in quarantine and thrown in with a bunch of Coronavirus suspects in a place on Merseyside, just because I said I had bad cold symptoms. So, here I am, stuck in the Wirral with flu
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