Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 08:49

It's Friday Fun Time

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 08:49

After getting the windows on my car tinted black, I showed it to my wife.

She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!"

I said, "That's the point."

Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 08:50

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 08:51

50,000 covid vaccines have been moved to Bradford to begin the vaccination programme.

That covers the first house.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 08:51

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 08:52

Aww, I rememer last xmas, we were playing charades and my grandad was up, all of a sudden he collapsed on the floor, did a huge fa*t and died, I said "Gone with the wind?"....

Unread post by **Manoverboard** » 27 Nov 2020, 09:06

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Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 27 Nov 2020, 10:26

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Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 27 Nov 2020, 10:27

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Please post pictures of those of you now standing on your head.

Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:33

The old one's are the bestn's Foxy..........see last weeks #7

Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:34

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:35

You won't see me panic buying toilet rolls like a idiot.

I've still got hundreds from last time.

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:39

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Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:40

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Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:41

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Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:42

Stephen wrote: 27 Nov 2020, 11:33
The old one's are the bestn's Foxy..........see last weeks #7

So good it was worth repeating.

Unread post by **Ray Scully** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:42

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:46

#14

No change there Ray

Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:57

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 11:58

Been to see the optician and he asked me what makes me think I need glasses so I told him I can't see very far,
to which he asked me to step to the window pointed into the sky and asked what's that, puzzled I looked and told him the only thing I could see was the sun, too which he replied how far do you want too bl**dy see.

Unread post by **oldbluefox** » 27 Nov 2020, 15:28

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'
God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'
God continued, pointing to the different countries.
This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'
'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'
God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South!

Unread post by **towny44** » 27 Nov 2020, 15:33

Nice one Foxy.

Unread post by **kaymar** » 27 Nov 2020, 15:35

oldbluefox wrote: 27 Nov 2020, 15:28

Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 15:44

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Unread post by **Stephen** » 27 Nov 2020, 15:50

When my dad took his dog to the vet, it was really embarrassing because he kept dragging his a*se over the carpet.
The vet said "do you mind, I'm trying to examine your dog".

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