It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
It's Friday Fun Time
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Another new long-Covid symptom…..not being able to realise when you are at a party
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'it's **** football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tied the score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'it's **** football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tied the score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
UK sends weapon of mass distraction to the Ukraine.
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12524
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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I was taught to be cautious
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12524
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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I was taught to be cautious
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The twitchers in a certain community were in a frenzy, a rare honey buzzard had taken perch in woodland.
They lay in long grass or sat in their hides watching this bird through binoculars or snapping it through telephoto lenses.
All of a sudden a car pulled up, a chap got out with a shotgun, let the buzzard have it with both barrels, collected the dead bird and drove off.
The twitchers were aghast but managed to take down his registration.
Days later, he was up in front of a magistrate. The magistrate said: "This is a dreadful thing".
The shooter replied "I never intended to kill the buzzard, I was shooting pigeon and it flew into my line of fire."
The magistrate said, "Okay. Out of interest, what did you do with it?"
He said "I ate it."
The magistrate said "Good lord, what did it taste like?"
He replied "Difficult to describe really, a bit like a cross between Northern White Rhino and Albino Panda."
They lay in long grass or sat in their hides watching this bird through binoculars or snapping it through telephoto lenses.
All of a sudden a car pulled up, a chap got out with a shotgun, let the buzzard have it with both barrels, collected the dead bird and drove off.
The twitchers were aghast but managed to take down his registration.
Days later, he was up in front of a magistrate. The magistrate said: "This is a dreadful thing".
The shooter replied "I never intended to kill the buzzard, I was shooting pigeon and it flew into my line of fire."
The magistrate said, "Okay. Out of interest, what did you do with it?"
He said "I ate it."
The magistrate said "Good lord, what did it taste like?"
He replied "Difficult to describe really, a bit like a cross between Northern White Rhino and Albino Panda."
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 17017
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12524
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
No13
Last edited by oldbluefox on 04 Feb 2022, 16:35, edited 2 times in total.
I was taught to be cautious
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
To save money on funeral costs, we bought grandma a pet vulture.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 14154
- Joined: January 2013
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 14154
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
What does a perverted frog say?
Rubbit.
Rubbit.
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 14154
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Thanks for coming!
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12524
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Good luck to the Welsh bobsleigh team at the 2022 Winter Olympics.
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I was taught to be cautious
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
#20
Now you’ve done it Foxy. Onelife will be signing up for the team.
No sheep are safe
Now you’ve done it Foxy. Onelife will be signing up for the team.
No sheep are safe
Last edited by Stephen on 05 Feb 2022, 11:05, edited 1 time in total.
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12524
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
He'll have to get in the queue. Jan and Lindsey have first pick.
I was taught to be cautious