It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
It's Friday Fun Time
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
The police pulled me over and asked me if I had been drinking and driving.
My response?
'In the current climate officer, who can afford both'
My response?
'In the current climate officer, who can afford both'
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I got myself a Crypto wallet and surfed the Dark Web, seeing what illicit "goods and services" were available, if you know what I mean?.
Chuffed to bits. Managed to get an appointment with a GP.
Chuffed to bits. Managed to get an appointment with a GP.
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Kendhni
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 6520
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
At careers day the teacher asked he children to say what their father did ... all the usual answers came up, policeman, carpenter, builder, IT, sales etc. Little Johnny, with his blond mop of hair, was being suspiciously quiet at the back ... so the teacher asked him what his father did.
Johnny replied 'My father is an exotic dancer in a gay bar. He strips in front of other men and, if he is offered enough money he will go out the back and have sex with them." The teacher is both shaken and appalled and rushes the other children out asking Johnny to remain.
'Is that really true?' she asks Johnny
Johnny hangs his head and says 'No, he was the PM, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.
Johnny replied 'My father is an exotic dancer in a gay bar. He strips in front of other men and, if he is offered enough money he will go out the back and have sex with them." The teacher is both shaken and appalled and rushes the other children out asking Johnny to remain.
'Is that really true?' she asks Johnny
Johnny hangs his head and says 'No, he was the PM, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a daring proposal;
-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.
Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while he was chased by all the crocodiles.
With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;
-We have a brave winner.
After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;
-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!
His wife smiled ...
Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."
-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.
Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while he was chased by all the crocodiles.
With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;
-We have a brave winner.
After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;
-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!
His wife smiled ...
Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12524
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day.
Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers."
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
"No," I replied, I'm just a sh*t golfer!!..
Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers."
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
"No," I replied, I'm just a sh*t golfer!!..
I was taught to be cautious
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12524
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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I was taught to be cautious
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
I told them I wanted plain rice
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Last edited by Stephen on 12 Aug 2022, 15:06, edited 2 times in total.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17753
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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towny44
- Deputy Captain
- Posts: 9668
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Huddersfield
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
ARE YOU SWEATING WHILST PUTTING PETROL IN YOUR CAR FEELING SICK WHEN PAYING FOR IT? You PROBABLY HAVE THE CAROWNERVIRUS
John
Trainee Pensioner since 2000
Trainee Pensioner since 2000