It's Friday Fun Time
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
It's Friday Fun Time
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Hi Lads...
Just thought I'd let you know I have a load of knocked-off Victoria's Secret bra sets just arrived which will make fabulous Christmas gifts for your wife or girlfriend, but they're selling fast.
If you can send a photo of your wife's or girlfriend's tits, I'll let you know if we have any left that will fit.
Merry Christmas!
Just thought I'd let you know I have a load of knocked-off Victoria's Secret bra sets just arrived which will make fabulous Christmas gifts for your wife or girlfriend, but they're selling fast.
If you can send a photo of your wife's or girlfriend's tits, I'll let you know if we have any left that will fit.
Merry Christmas!
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Mervyn and Trish
- Commodore
- Posts: 17017
- Joined: February 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. ‘How'd you die?’
the first man asks the second.
‘I froze to death,’ says the second.
‘That's awful,’ says the first man. ‘How does it feel to freeze to death?’
‘It's very uncomfortable at first’, says the second man. ‘You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?’
‘I had a heart attack,’ says the first man. ‘You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.’
The second man shakes his head. ‘That's so ironic,’ he says.
‘What do you mean?’ asks the first man.
‘If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive.’
the first man asks the second.
‘I froze to death,’ says the second.
‘That's awful,’ says the first man. ‘How does it feel to freeze to death?’
‘It's very uncomfortable at first’, says the second man. ‘You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?’
‘I had a heart attack,’ says the first man. ‘You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.’
The second man shakes his head. ‘That's so ironic,’ he says.
‘What do you mean?’ asks the first man.
‘If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive.’
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 14155
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves.
The husband says, “No chance love, they’re way too expensive.”
Later on in bed, the wife is just falling asleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lowers on to her thigh.
She turns to him and says, “I don’t think so mate. If you’re not prepared to shoe the horse then you sure as hell ain’t riding it.”
The husband says, “No chance love, they’re way too expensive.”
Later on in bed, the wife is just falling asleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lowers on to her thigh.
She turns to him and says, “I don’t think so mate. If you’re not prepared to shoe the horse then you sure as hell ain’t riding it.”
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 14155
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached and said, ‘This bull mated 50 times last year’.
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, “He mated 50 times last year, that’s almost once a week.”
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached and said, ‘This bull mated 150 times last year’.
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, “Wow! That’s more than twice a week. You could learn a lot from him.”
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, ‘THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR’.
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, she said,
“That’s once a day. You could really learn something from this one.”
I looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.”
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, “He mated 50 times last year, that’s almost once a week.”
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached and said, ‘This bull mated 150 times last year’.
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, “Wow! That’s more than twice a week. You could learn a lot from him.”
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, ‘THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR’.
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, she said,
“That’s once a day. You could really learn something from this one.”
I looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.”
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Onelife
- Captain
- Posts: 14155
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
An old lady went to visit her dentist.
When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.
The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.”
“I know,” said the old lady.
“I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”
When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs.
The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.”
“I know,” said the old lady.
“I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”
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oldbluefox
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 12525
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Cumbria
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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I was taught to be cautious
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Thoughts go out to my Mother-in-law. She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face.
Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the spade.
Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the spade.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
My daughter killed a butterfly in the garden today, so I told her she won't have butter for one month.
She then went to the kitchen and killed a cockroach.
Nice try.
She then went to the kitchen and killed a cockroach.
Nice try.
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
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Ray Scully
- Senior First Officer
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
[attachment=0]download (2).jpg bbobs.jpg[/attachment][attachment=0]download (2).jpg bbobs.jpg[/attachment]StephenStephen wrote: 11 Nov 2022, 08:25Hi Lads...
Just thought I'd let you know I have a load of knocked-off Victoria's Secret bra sets just arrived which will make fabulous Christmas gifts for your wife or girlfriend, but they're selling fast.
If you can send a photo of your wife's or girlfriend's tits, I'll let you know if we have any left that will fit.
Merry Christmas!
Can you sort one for her ?
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Stephen
Topic author - Commodore
- Posts: 17755
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
Need more detail for sizing Ray. I think the tarpaulin company may have to get involved here 
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Kendhni
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 6520
- Joined: January 2013
Re: Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~
More than a mouthful is a waste