Overprotective?

[Onelife]

Have recently read the tragic story of a young girl drowning in an Egyptian resort swimming pool... its left me wondering what age would I allow a child to be left unsupervised whilst in or around a foreign swimming pool?

If it was my daughter and she was with a friend then 12/13 would be my lower limit, if however she was unaccompanied then 16 would seem more appropriate... even then I would be hiding in the bushes keeping an eye out for her...Am I being to overprotective? What age would you be happy to leave your child unattended in an outdoor swimming pool...with or without life guards being present?

Regards

OL

[paultheeagle]

That would depend on one thing.....How good a swimmer they were.

[Kendhni]

I know my SIL would never leave her kids unattended (as I said on the other thread I used to tell her she molly coddled them but I now believe she is right). They are about 8 and 10 years old. The older one has actually just done part of his PADI dive certificate (not quite sure how qualified he is but I believe he is now allowed to go out into the sea?). My brother was always keen that they learned to swim at a very young age.

I think you make a good point about being with a friend.

[Manoverboard]

After our incident in Gran Canaria ALL pools were off limits until they could swim, needless to say they did learn and fairly quickly.

I certainly agree about the wisdom of taking a friend.

However I fear that OL is possibly being a tad over protective ... but that is easy for me to say of course.

ps ... did you get the PM with the ' Links ' ok ?

[Boris+]

For me swimming is not simply swimming. Swimming in a pool is different to a lake, a river or the sea. In pools you get people full of fun and excitement running and jumping into the water. This is dangerous not only to the people already in the water, but also to the person running and jumping - especially if they trip or fall on the hard surface surrounding the pool. This can also apply to rivers and lakes where there may be a jetty or mooring, and to rocky areas on beaches or quaysides at a marina.

So as to what lower age - there is no lower age because not only in my opinion are there the problems mentioned above, but swimmers can get cramp, stings from jellyfish - there is no 100% safety, therefore someone always need to watch.

Now then, if not watching is for you that's fine by me, but then you shouldn't put the responsibility of saving your swimmer onto other people. I am afraid I can't be doing with people who think that the water is a fine playground or that mountains are an awesome adventure, then they do something silly like ignoring warnings or weather forecasts, don't have training or equipment and then expect to be rescued (at the expense of the safety of the rescuers).

You may disagree with what I have posted, and that's fine by me also. I shall just carry on with my way of doing things.

Sorry.

Em

[Andrea S]

Being overprotective with Children is a Parents instinct.
I read the OP as referring to the water but there are also other incidents that could occur with young teens in a holiday complex. It is lovely to see them 'growing up' with their new friends but they are strangers and still need to be watched.
I do not know at what age you give them a little but more freedom.
As Em says, danger is lurking everywhere and sadly it isn't just teenagers that ignore warning signs.

[HK phooey]

Thirty five seems about right to me, which is also the age that our daughter is allowed her first boyfriend. I remember a holiday in Turkey when our eldest was then 11, almost 12 and asked to go to the hotel pool next door to hours as some boys he'd made friends with had invited him. I said no, Paul said yes, he went and I followed along and hid behind an umbrella. I don't think there's any such thing as being overprotective with children where their safety is concerned.

[Andrea S]

HK, I think as things are today it must be harder still as they are growing up.
If this wasn't a 'serious' topic I would have asked what cocktail was the umbrella in.

[HK phooey]

Andrea, it was a Pina Colada

[Onelife]

After our incident in Gran Canaria ALL pools were off limits until they could swim, needless to say they did learn and fairly quickly.

I certainly agree about the wisdom of taking a friend.

However I fear that OL is possibly being a tad over protective ... but that is easy for me to say of course.

ps ... did you get the PM with the ' Links ' ok ?

Thanks Mob

Yes I did get the links but haven’t as yet had chance to open them...btw would you mind sending them later in the evening as my wife nearly caught me watching the last lot you sent me

You have mail.

[david63]

In answer to the OP - there is no right or wrong answer.

There are so many factors to take into consideration which will vary on each and every occasion and, at the end of the day, it is down to a judgement call by the parents/grandparents/guardians.

[emjay45]

If you were to ask my sons they would tell you they weren't allowed out unaccompanied until they were 18 They jest of course but I was rather overprotective. Seriously though, no I don't think you are being overprotective especially these days.

[Onelife]

In answer to the OP - there is no right or wrong answer.

There are so many factors to take into consideration which will vary on each and every occasion and, at the end of the day, it is down to a judgement call by the parents/grandparents/guardians.

I would agree David, and would hope parental judgment is based on the understanding that children don’t recognise the many dangers that can befall them whilst enjoying what are considered safe recreational fun activities.

[Gill W]

Whilst I understand a parents desire to protect their child, I'm wondering if you had the level of protection in your childhood that children are given today.

For example, at the age of 11 or so, my friends and I would catch a bus to the local swimming pool and spend hours there, without an adult accompanying us. We'd spend hours outside in the summer holidays, only being called in by our parents at dusk.

It was obviously safer to play out in the street as there wasn't the level of traffic, but the 'other' dangers were always there, albeit more hidden.

This is the late 60's and early 70's that I'm talking about.

I'm just wondering if today's children are almost smothered with parental care, and have no opportunity to break out and be independent ?

[gfwgfw]

Fortunately these incidents are extremely rare

[Jan Rosser]

Whilst I understand a parents desire to protect their child, I'm wondering if you had the level of protection in your childhood that children are given today.

For example, at the age of 11 or so, my friends and I would catch a bus to the local swimming pool and spend hours there, without an adult accompanying us. We'd spend hours outside in the summer holidays, only being called in by our parents at dusk.

It was obviously safer to play out in the street as there wasn't the level of traffic, but the 'other' dangers were always there, albeit more hidden.

This is the late 60's and early 70's that I'm talking about.

I'm just wondering if today's children are almost smothered with parental care, and have no opportunity to break out and be independent ?

I grew up in the 50's and 60's and agree Gill we certainly had a different childhood - I walked to school with friends from the age of 6/7 without an accompanying parent and we played outside all day and looking back did some daft things without any thought of danger. Traffic wasn't a problem but there must have been other dangers as you say - I certainly didn't smother my sons but they had more freedom than their children are having - it's so sad isn't it but understandable too.

My grand daughter who is 10 in June wants to go out with her friends but my son won't allow it - Olivia is okay with it for now but I see turbulent times ahead - her safety is the most important thing. I think I worry more about my grandchildren than I did about my sons

[Andrea S]

I think it is very sad that children growing up today 'need' protecting.
I was a teenager in the early 50' living in a small village playing out until bedtime without any thought of danger. 20 years later my children were teenagers living in a large town. Traffic was my biggest worry but they would go to the park where they played happily and safely.
Nowadays we are made aware of the dangers lurking around every corner.
Maybe they are overprotected but children are far more restricted than years ago. Gardens are often much smaller for all their friends to play in, parks are definitely no go areas without an adult being present and riding a bike on a busy road is just too dangerous.
Life is very very different.

[Mr-big-bits-mk2]

I was born in 65 long before the current level of worry existed with parents. I had my first air rifle at age 12 and can remember many things at the age that would be horrifying these days but back then no one even batted an eyelid.

[Gill W]

The house I lived in originally belonged to my mum's great aunt. My mum and dad took it over when she died.

Anyway, as a result she spent a lot of time there as a child and so did a cousin who's 20 years older than me.

When I grew up we all chatted about our childhoods in that house, and it turned out we all did exactly the same hair raising things around the neighbourhood. Generations of kids did the same things and survived, but I reckon any children that live in that house now won't have the same experiences as my mum, cousin and I