it's not just cruises where dress code is poor

[Mo2013]

The key word in your last post Mo was "suggested" dress code - and that is all it is (for some areas of a ship) whether we like or not.

Point taken David, but most people go along with it. I don't like the attitude of some who don't care about going along with it.

[Quizzical Bob]

The key word in your last post Mo was "suggested" dress code - and that is all it is (for some areas of a ship) whether we like or not.

Quite right David, although it is strictly enforced in a few locations and although I have seen some misunderstandings I have never seen any transgressions.

[Quizzical Bob]

The key word in your last post Mo was "suggested" dress code - and that is all it is (for some areas of a ship) whether we like or not.

Point taken David, but most people go along with it. I don't like the attitude of some who don't care about going along with it.

But if it's only a suggestion then that is their prerogative. For very many people the question of what to wear is not important.

[Mo2013]

No, when I feel out of place there's usually a good reason for it. As I get older I am gradually coming to realise that this world is not for me any more, but I must say that I don't meet the sort of behaviour that you are describing. We have done many cruises and I have never seen anybody who did not adhere to the prevailing dress code and I have eaten in restaurants all over the world and have never seen anybody inappropriately dressed.

Maybe you have, perhaps like a lot of other people, become used to the gradual dumbing down of dress - I'm pretty sure that it didn't used to be so, and I personally don't like to see men in jeans and a logo t-shirt in a classy indian restaurant, and find it inappropriate.

[Quizzical Bob]

No, when I feel out of place there's usually a good reason for it. As I get older I am gradually coming to realise that this world is not for me any more, but I must say that I don't meet the sort of behaviour that you are describing. We have done many cruises and I have never seen anybody who did not adhere to the prevailing dress code and I have eaten in restaurants all over the world and have never seen anybody inappropriately dressed.

Maybe you have, perhaps like a lot of other people, become used to the gradual dumbing down of dress - I'm pretty sure that it didn't used to be so, and I personally don't like to see men in jeans and a logo t-shirt in a classy indian restaurant, and find it inappropriate.

I would suggest that the words classy, Indian and restaurant are not a combination that you find very often. In fact, I would have thought they were appropriately dressed.

[Mo2013]

QB, it is a proper restaurant, and it even has carpet on the floor and lovely soft lighting. It is not a takeaway which is what I believe you are thinking of.

[Quizzical Bob]

QB, it is a proper restaurant, and it even has carpet on the floor and lovely soft lighting. It is not a takeaway which is what I believe you are thinking of.

That's exactly what I thought you were referring to. Surely it's up to the management to refuse anyone that they feel is inappropriately dressed?

[Mo2013]

QB, it is a proper restaurant, and it even has carpet on the floor and lovely soft lighting. It is not a takeaway which is what I believe you are thinking of.

That's exactly what I thought you were referring to. Surely it's up to the management to refuse anyone that they feel is inappropriately dressed?

I think the problem is that it's easier to allow these people in. It's about profit, so they are not going to turn people away, and it is only because standards have been allowed to erode that standards are what they are now. If some people had their way, they would cruise and dine out at home looking like they'd just come in from doing the garden. Sometimes I look at people and think 'you're avin a larf' but it is clear that some genuinely do not have any sense of dressing to suit the venue/occasion.

[Quizzical Bob]

QB, it is a proper restaurant, and it even has carpet on the floor and lovely soft lighting. It is not a takeaway which is what I believe you are thinking of.

That's exactly what I thought you were referring to. Surely it's up to the management to refuse anyone that they feel is inappropriately dressed?

I think the problem is that it's easier to allow these people in. It's about profit, so they are not going to turn people away, and it is only because standards have been allowed to erode that standards are what they are now. If some people had their way, they would cruise and dine out at home looking like they'd just come in from doing the garden. Sometimes I look at people and think 'you're avin a larf' but it is clear that some genuinely do not have any sense of dressing to suit the venue/occasion.

Maybe they don't think it's important? You can't expect other people to dress to suit your or my idea of what is appropriate. Cruising is no different from anywhere else. P&O cruise ships are nothing more than an average resort hotel, I cannot emphasise strongly enough that for most of the population what you wear does not matter one iota.

[Silver_Shiney]

"The world is not filled with obedient sheep, thank goodness." And that is, if I may say so, why society is like it is today. It is not even a question of obedience in the strictest sense of the word, it is more to do with attitude, it is about people who, with no sense of responsibility whatsoever, will do what they like, when they like, to whoever they like.

By the way, I'm coming up for 67 years old, and I have old fashioned values and respect and I do remember a time when people weren't quite so selfish, self-centred and bolshy.

[Silver_Shiney]

I would suggest that the words classy, Indian and restaurant are not a combination that you find very often. In fact, I would have thought they were appropriately dressed.

Try Tikka Flame and Namaskar Lounge in Bristol. There was (may still be) a classy Indian restaurant in Leith, almost opposite where the Royal Yacht is berthed.

Anyway, I digress (again)

[Mo2013]

QB, P&O don't think like you, otherwise they would do away with the dress code altogether.

[Quizzical Bob]

QB, P&O don't think like you, otherwise they would do away with the dress code altogether.

They have the impossible task of trying to please everybody and end up pleasing none.

[Mo2013]

QB, P&O don't think like you, otherwise they would do away with the dress code altogether.

They have the impossible task of trying to please everybody and end up pleasing none.

In that case P&O should go one way or the other and stick to that and then passengers can choose whichever cruiseline - informal or formal - which is the best fit for them. Can't be doing with people who go on a ship then start moaning and try to move the goalposts.

[Frank Manning]

QB, it is all around us every day, on the news, in car parks, shopping malls, restaurants, on holiday, etc. society is chocabloc with me, me, me people who care nothing for others, couldn't care less about consideration, peace and quiet, manners, and even ambience on a ship. Why would a cruiseline put what they do about the suggested dress code if it didn't matter on some level? But yet there are those who are happy to go on a cruise, whilst pouring scorn on what the majority find to be an integral part of life on board. When I go to my local restaurant, people have so dumbed their dress down that I feel 'overdone', but I shouldn't feel like that, and I didn't used to feel like that because it certainly didn't used to be like that.

PS Romig: living near Cleckhuddersfax has nowt to do wi it

We were given courses on career planning, and I remember one excellent piece of advice. "Always dress to impress. You are projecting yourself and your self image to the world." If my self image is of a snob, I can assure you I am far from it, but I dress to please myself, and what pleases me is to look smart.

[sumdumbloke]

it

We were given courses on career planning, and I remember one excellent piece of advice. "Always dress to impress. You are projecting yourself and your self image to the world." If my self image is of a snob, I can assure you I am far from it, but I dress to please myself, and what pleases me is to look smart.

And there you have the very essence of the problem.

What looks smart to a retired man in his later years, or a woman of similar age and background, does not necessarily look smart to a younger eye. It can look stuffy.

The bar should be set not at style but at objective substance: cleanliness, manners, respect.

[oldbluefox]

The bar should be set not at style but at objective substance: cleanliness, manners, respect.

.............................. with the emphasis on respect - respect for dress codes where they apply, respect for other people, respect for the establishment you are eating in or staying in. Cleanliness and manners should be a given.

[Silver_Shiney]

Cleanliness and manners should be a given.

Sadly, in this day and age, they're seen as outdated and unnecessary by many. I weep for this nation.

[oldbluefox]

We're back to the respect thing again SS. I think we are very much into 'me,me,me and s*d everybody else'. Maybe I am old fashioned but it's not something I like or subscribe to.

[Quizzical Bob]

We're back to the respect thing again SS. I think we are very much into 'me,me,me and s*d everybody else'. Maybe I am old fashioned but it's not something I like or subscribe to.

So... When you dress up are you doing to please yourself or for somebody else's benefit? It might be called vanity.

[oldbluefox]

We're back to the respect thing again SS. I think we are very much into 'me,me,me and s*d everybody else'. Maybe I am old fashioned but it's not something I like or subscribe to.

So... When you dress up are you doing to please yourself or for somebody else's benefit? It might be called vanity.

Both. Don't everybody?

[jay-ell71]

Is 'vanity' feeling good about yourself?

It is respect, it is conformity and, yes, it is vanity.

I have been reading of this thread and It seems to me that in fact, no one who is posting would think of dressing inappropriately, whether it be for dinner, visiting a religious place, a job interview or indeed a wedding. It looks to me as if it is being told by a third party how to appear, that is causing the dissent. Come on chaps, I am sure you dress to please your wives and girlfriends, and they certainly dress to please you.

[Quizzical Bob]

We're back to the respect thing again SS. I think we are very much into 'me,me,me and s*d everybody else'. Maybe I am old fashioned but it's not something I like or subscribe to.

Doesn't respect work both ways? If somebody chooses not to 'dress up' in a restaurant where the proprietor doesn't require it, shouldn't we respect their choice?

[Silver_Shiney]

We're back to the respect thing again SS. I think we are very much into 'me,me,me and s*d everybody else'. Maybe I am old fashioned but it's not something I like or subscribe to.

So... When you dress up are you doing to please yourself or for somebody else's benefit? It might be called vanity.

I do it because it is expected of me as part of the general ambience of the event. Someone has decided that a particular dress code is appropriate for the occasion, so I respect that decision.

[Quizzical Bob]

We're back to the respect thing again SS. I think we are very much into 'me,me,me and s*d everybody else'. Maybe I am old fashioned but it's not something I like or subscribe to.

So... When you dress up are you doing to please yourself or for somebody else's benefit? It might be called vanity.

I do it because it is expected of me as part of the general ambience of the event. Someone has decided that a particular dress code is appropriate for the occasion, so I respect that decision.

Quite right. But in a restaurant which did not have a dress code?