Chivalry

[Kendhni]

Is chivalry really dead.
Last week we saw the media making an issue over a pregnant MP having to stand ... Some thought one of the others should have offered her their seat ... It appears however that none of the parties involved found it an issue.

I was always brought up to hold doors open and to let the lady go first (which is especially good if there is a risk of landmines) ...but even those simple offerings seem to be less common.

Is chivalry dead or dying?

[JenniC]

IMO no - but there will always be those who are neither chivalrous, courteous or considerate.... But on the whole I find the majority of people I meet / know / work with / live near are all of the above - or is it my rose tinted glasses

[Gill W]

It's plain good manners, - I was brought up to give up my seat to someone less able to stand than me, whether they are a pregnant women, a parent struggling to hold a baby or an elderly man or woman, or a disabled person. It doesn't matter what sex I am or they are, it's common decency.

It a gentleman holds a door open for me and lets me go first, I appreciate it and thank him. I don't take umbrage that he's being old fashioned

The only time I take umbrage is when anyone, male or female, lets the door go in my face. That is so rude. But again, it's not a male or female thing, just a good manners thing

[GillD46]

It's plain good manners, - I was brought up to give up my seat to someone less able to stand than me, whether they are a pregnant women, a parent struggling to hold a baby or an elderly man or woman, or a disabled person. It doesn't matter what sex I am or they are, it's common decency.

It a gentleman holds a door open for me and lets me go first, I appreciate it and thank him. I don't take umbrage that he's being old fashioned

The only time I take umbrage is when anyone, male or female, lets the door go in my face. That is so rude. But again, it's not a male or female thing, just a good manners thing

I completely agree.

[Jean W]

Gill W I agree wholeheartedly.

Regarding someone letting the door go - I have to say 'It's a pleasure' out loud and give them a stare. I know it doesn't make any difference to them but I feel I've had my say

[Onelife]

Give or take a few expletives I’m the perfect Gentleman... especially so if she’s got a loads of money

[Dancing Queen]

You are so shallow Keefy (I'm sure money doesn't come into it !! )

Manners cost nothing, my husband still opens doors for me including the car door, walks on the outside nearest the road, will give his seat up to any female (regardless of age) or an elderly male/disabled person.

I think it is probably just the era we were brought up in and sadly those sort of standards are few and far between these days.

[jay-ell71]

I like doors opened for me, my husband walks on the outside of the pavement, and most of all, it is wonderful when the gentleman stands up when I, or any lady arrives at the table (specially on a cruise). The last P & O cruise we did we had a table for four. Both men stood up when us ladies arrived. It was charming.

Sadly, it is a generation thing, my son does not do these things even though he sees his father do it. Blame "women's lib". The girls brought it on themselves I suppose.

[Silver_Shiney]

Gill W I agree wholeheartedly.

Regarding someone letting the door go - I have to say 'It's a pleasure' out loud and give them a stare. I know it doesn't make any difference to them but I feel I've had my say

I did something similar in Harrods many years ago - everyone except the toerag concerned turned round....

I held the door open at MoD Main Building for Tom King, when he was Secretary of State for Defence. He breezed through without so much as a glance in my direction. It's not just the need for courtesy and consideration in giving up your seat / holding the door open, it's the need to say "thank you" that is fast becoming dead.

[Onelife]

You are so shallow Keefy (I'm sure money doesn't come into it !! )

Manners cost nothing, my husband still opens doors for me including the car door, walks on the outside nearest the road, will give his seat up to any female (regardless of age) or an elderly male/disabled person.

I think it is probably just the era we were brought up in and sadly those sort of standards are few and far between these days.

Hi Jo,

I’m trying to be a little more humble, sincere and genuine but this forum brings out the worst in me

If you are brought up knowing right from wrong good manners are never far behind.... although, sometimes needing a little reminder.

Regards

Keefy

[Onelife]

P.s

I would always open the door for you and indeed anyone behind you

[Dark Knight]

I am all for equality, so can the ladies really complain when we don't open doors for them
very few ladies open doors for us men
and not one has ever stood up when I arrive at a table
if chivalry is dead then both sexes have killed it

saying that, I was always taught to offer my seat to a lady or an elderly person and still do, I also open doors for ladies etc
I would suggest it your upbringing that gives you manners

[Silver_Shiney]

I was rather taken aback a year or so ago when a young lady offered me her seat on the bus!

[Dark Knight]

that's coz you is well old

[Holiday Planner]

I hold the door for others, and appreciate it when someone does the same for me. I would never expect anyone to stand for me as I approach a table, although we will sometimes stand to shake hands when introduced to someone, especially if we're seated in low arm chairs.

[Silver_Shiney]

that's coz you is well old

snuh

[Kendhni]

Sadly, it is a generation thing, my son does not do these things even though he sees his father do it. Blame "women's lib". The girls brought it on themselves I suppose.

Generally speaking you could be right about 'generational' ... but there are still many polite youngsters and many grumpy old sods out there.

[Silver_Shiney]

but there are still many ... grumpy old sods out there.

Leave me out of this....

[jay-ell71]

Sadly, it is a generation thing, my son does not do these things even though he sees his father do it. Blame "women's lib". The girls brought it on themselves I suppose.

Generally speaking you could be right about 'generational' ... but there are still many polite youngsters and many grumpy old sods out there.

Oh dear that looks as if my son has no manners! Of course he does. He is polite and charming. It's the chivalry bit, the holding the chair, the walking on the outside of the pavement that I don't see him doing. He does open doors for ladies though.

Holiday planner....... If you haven't had the pleasure of a gentleman standing as you approach the table......... well, what can I say, you don't know what you have missed........

[Gill W]

I hold the door for others, and appreciate it when someone does the same for me. I would never expect anyone to stand for me as I approach a table, although we will sometimes stand to shake hands when introduced to someone, especially if we're seated in low arm chairs.

I agree, I wouldn't expect a man to stand up when I arrived at the table, especially if they were, er, on the mature side. Poor old chap, just got himself settled and comfortable then having to be up and down like a yo-yo, when various females arrive at the table.

I try to treat both sexes with care and consideration, and hope to be treated the same way in return. I don't need, want, or expect more from a man just because I happen to be female.

[Boris+]

I was brought up to know right from wrong, and I was also brought up to respect other people.

There is no way that I would see someone older than me needing a seat etc and not offer it. Similarly, there is no way that I would hold back from offering assistance to a younger person who (for instance might be pregnant) appears to need it.

Just recently there was a young woman with a baby in a sling at a checkout, and she was really struggling to put all her stuff through the selfservice till, so I offered to put it in bags for her - she said no, I didn't mind, at least I'd offered.

Therefore, hoping that what goes around comes around I do always think that someone going through a door immediately before me should hold the door open - and when that sort of thing doesn't happen I merely say the word 'manners' out aloud.

However, as the people nowadays seem (and maybe they've brought it on themselves) to be so wrapped up in their own little world or under such 'pressure' that they can only 'live' within their little cocoon and not be aware of other people or not be aware of their surroundings. For some people that's the way it is, and for other people (had an instance of this recently) that sort of behaviour is what I call 'yuppy posing' it's an attitude or act put on to create what they see as a desireable image. Therefore some of the time I try and be understanding, but then I don't know why I should.

Whatever - opening a door or giving up a seat to someone who perhaps would benefit more than me ......... I do it every time, without question.

Em

[Frank Manning]

I dont like it when women (sometimes) accuse me of being patronising when I open a door for a lady, or give up my seat for them. My Mum used to say "Manners maketh man", and I try to stick to it.

I worked for some fantastic lady bosses at the University, and I dont like to hear that my admiration for them or my consideration is "patronising". I dont feel patronising.

[Belle53]

I love a bit of old fashioned chivalry, but I do think a lot of it is just good manners, I hold doors open for people and I would also offer my seat to an elderly person or a pregnant woman. I think it is a great shame that these common courtesies seem to be going out of fashion.

[Kendhni]

I agree, I wouldn't expect a man to stand up when I arrived at the table, especially if they were, er, on the mature side. Poor old chap, just got himself settled and comfortable then having to be up and down like a yo-yo, when various females arrive at the table.

Thank goodness for that because every time I stand up for a lady approaching the table I always seem to give myself a wedgie ... and then you are subtly trying to extract the undergarments from those intimate little places at the table ... not a pretty picture

[Not so ancient mariner]

Chivalry: Perchance it is not dead, but sleepeth.............