Who's been sitting in my chair?

[Onelife]

Hi all,

Well I can’t keep you in suspense any longer, but just before I reveal what I found this morning may I thank you for your suggestion but also thank you for putting a smile on my face as I hope it has your with some of the hilarious answers

Well the little critter was an “anion ater” (Large Black SLUG) must have been 10cm in length and left a slime trail of around 5 metres criss crossing our lounge. I was going to give it a quick death for making such a mess but in the end decided to let the neighbours do it

This last couple of months we’ve supplied lodgings for a frog, slug and two mice...On that note do any of you fancy coming round for afternoon tea?

Great laugh ...thank you

Regards

Keith

[oldbluefox]

Good post OL. Nice to have a bit of fun and harmless banter.

[Delboy]

You are like me I always let our neighbours kill any slugs which invade our garden, we have had frogs invade our conservatory

As Brucie would say, good game, good game.

[Anne D]

Yes a really good post. I kept having to return during the day to read the next bit.

So I wasn't far off with Snake .


Anne

[Onelife]

Hello Anne,

You were indeed the closest and for that reason I’ve decided to send you a box of Keefy’s finest chocolate anyway.

Enjoy!! ....and remember it’s the thought that counts

Regards

Keith

[Dark Knight]

A SLUG !! are you taking the P, all that for a squidgy little slug
in our house the dogs would have eaten it as soon as its sticky little head got through the patio door

Honestly I was expecting some epic tale of man vs nature and the best you can do is a flippin slug

bloody wuss

and yes I have edit the swearing lest I get a slapped wrist

[gfwgfw]

Perchance

Was it a chocolate coloured - shades through the range darkest to lightest -

Ferret

'Cus one of my finest has gone missing

Answers to the name of "Mr Kane"

Lubooo lots Kev

Graham

[Dark Knight]

hey ho large member
I honestly have no idea what your above post means

but I am sure it was nice

feeling the lub a tad

DK

[Manoverboard]

What a let down ... I was expecting something more like a giraffe rather than a snivelling SLUG

[Ray B]

But Manoverboard, it was a BIG slug.

Ray

[Jan Rosser]

But that BIG slug has given all of us a great deal of amusement - first thing I did when I came in this evening was check what it was - I was intrigued like a lot of others

[GillD46]

A great puzzle for us all. But a giant slug - yuck!

[oldbluefox]

If Onelife's slug is the highlight of our day I think we all need a cruise!!!

[Jan Rosser]

If Onelife's slug is the highlight of our day I think we all need a cruise!!!

You've got a cheek Foxy you've just got back I'm on countdown to February - booked two weeks in the Caribbean

[oldbluefox]

I'm suffering extreme withdrawal symptoms, Jan.

[Manoverboard]

But Manoverboard, it was a BIG slug.

Ray

[Stephen]

A SLUG !! are you taking the P, all that for a squidgy little slug
in our house the dogs would have eaten it as soon as its sticky little head got through the patio door

Honestly I was expecting some epic tale of man vs nature and the best you can do is a flippin slug

bl**dy wuss

and yes I have edit the swearing lest I get a slapped wrist

I know DK, what is the forum coming to. I'd had the frying pan out myself........................put it in it and flipped it over next doors fence

[Onelife]

Hi Darkestknightmare,

I had considered beefing it up a little but then thought to myself only a “Plonker” would think of such things as unicorns, basilisks and dragons........Oh and if you get the chance to have a word with the other fantasist remind him that giraffes are native to Africa not a sleepy village in Worcestershire

Now if you both behave yourselves today I might read you a bedtime story this evening


Regards

Keith

[Stephen]

Hi Darkestknightmare,

I had considered beefing it up a little but then thought to myself only a “Plonker” would think of such things as unicorns, basilisks and dragons........Oh and if you get the chance to have a word with the other fantasist remind him that giraffes are native to Africa not a sleepy village in Worcestershire

Now if you both behave yourselves today I might read you a bedtime story this evening


Regards

Keith

And I bet you have a bag of sweets on stand by.

SOCIAL SERVICES, WHERE ARE YOU

[CaroleF]

Last summer we found a HUGE red/orange thing which turned out to be a slug - I think they come from somewhere in Spain/Portugal - anyway somehow they had found their way over here. It was horrible, about the size of an apple and this hideous orange colour. What did we do with it - well I let my husband deal with it - well, isn't that what husbands are for? Not sure what he did I've never asked but the thought of stamping on it - yuck!

Speaking of things standing their ground, last year a bird, looked a young blackbird, appeared in the garden, just sitting on the grass. First I thought it was dead, but then it moved but didn't even try to fly away. I assumed it was injured and did what most wives would do - went indoors and waited for my husband to appear. We then had a conversation about what to do. We couldn't leave it there, and if it was injured well....... John decided he would go and find a cardboard box to put it in - I asked what was the point of that. Well, I think the point was that he didn't want to despatch it. So he went and got a box and a spade to pick it up with. As he approached, spade in hand, the bird seemed to take one look - think, No thanks, and flew up and over the wall!

Carole

[qbman1]

Speaking of things standing their ground, last year a bird, looked a young blackbird, appeared in the garden, just sitting on the grass. First I thought it was dead, but then it moved but didn't even try to fly away. I assumed it was injured and did what most wives would do - went indoors and waited for my husband to appear. We then had a conversation about what to do. We couldn't leave it there, and if it was injured well....... John decided he would go and find a cardboard box to put it in - I asked what was the point of that. Well, I think the point was that he didn't want to despatch it. So he went and got a box and a spade to pick it up with. As he approached, spade in hand, the bird seemed to take one look - think, No thanks, and flew up and over the wall!

Carole

It's a defence mechanism. Young fledglings are programmed to play dead to deter predators - except it clearly doesn't work when faced with a husband with a spade....!

[Onelife]

Speaking of things standing their ground, last year a bird, looked a young blackbird, appeared in the garden, just sitting on the grass. First I thought it was dead, but then it moved but didn't even try to fly away. I assumed it was injured and did what most wives would do - went indoors and waited for my husband to appear. We then had a conversation about what to do. We couldn't leave it there, and if it was injured well....... John decided he would go and find a cardboard box to put it in - I asked what was the point of that. Well, I think the point was that he didn't want to despatch it. So he went and got a box and a spade to pick it up with. As he approached, spade in hand, the bird seemed to take one look - think, No thanks, and flew up and over the wall!

Carole

It's a defence mechanism. Young fledglings are programmed to play dead to deter predators - except it clearly doesn't work when faced with a husband with a spade....!

...or when you've upset the wife..squeak squeak

[Stephen]

Last summer we found a HUGE red/orange thing which turned out to be a slug - I think they come from somewhere in Spain/Portugal - anyway somehow they had found their way over here. It was horrible, about the size of an apple and this hideous orange colour. What did we do with it - well I let my husband deal with it - well, isn't that what husbands are for? Not sure what he did I've never asked but the thought of stamping on it - yuck!

Speaking of things standing their ground, last year a bird, looked a young blackbird, appeared in the garden, just sitting on the grass. First I thought it was dead, but then it moved but didn't even try to fly away. I assumed it was injured and did what most wives would do - went indoors and waited for my husband to appear. We then had a conversation about what to do. We couldn't leave it there, and if it was injured well....... John decided he would go and find a cardboard box to put it in - I asked what was the point of that. Well, I think the point was that he didn't want to despatch it. So he went and got a box and a spade to pick it up with. As he approached, spade in hand, the bird seemed to take one look - think, No thanks, and flew up and over the wall!

Carole

What's a black bird doing in your garden Carole

[Onelife]

Last summer we found a HUGE red/orange thing which turned out to be a slug - I think they come from somewhere in Spain/Portugal - anyway somehow they had found their way over here. It was horrible, about the size of an apple and this hideous orange colour. What did we do with it - well I let my husband deal with it - well, isn't that what husbands are for? Not sure what he did I've never asked but the thought of stamping on it - yuck!

Speaking of things standing their ground, last year a bird, looked a young blackbird, appeared in the garden, just sitting on the grass. First I thought it was dead, but then it moved but didn't even try to fly away. I assumed it was injured and did what most wives would do - went indoors and waited for my husband to appear. We then had a conversation about what to do. We couldn't leave it there, and if it was injured well....... John decided he would go and find a cardboard box to put it in - I asked what was the point of that. Well, I think the point was that he didn't want to despatch it. So he went and got a box and a spade to pick it up with. As he approached, spade in hand, the bird seemed to take one look - think, No thanks, and flew up and over the wall!

Carole

What's a black bird doing in your garden Carole

Have you been drinking again Stephen?

[Dark Knight]

ey oop squeaky
have you had more monster invasions or is your house safe to enter now

I only ask as I am worried that next time it might be a slowworm and you will keel over from the shock