"Onelife's Pinch an inch diet"

[Stephen]

I'm going for the healthy option cheese and tomatoe roll with a sausage roll chaser for lunch today

[Silver_Shiney]

I'm going for the ultra-healthy chocoholics diet today

[Onelife]

dear Cheese eating porker
I will not be joining your fat buggers club, as I don't need to
Also we embark on a 2 week , all inclusive Caribbean cruise in exactly 3 weeks and I am not dieting on holiday
According to Bupa I have low cholesterol, perfect blood pressure, the correct BMI and no apparent lung damage from smoking ,Oh and the physique of a runner oh yes I have

so while you are sweating and straining to loose your spare cheesy tyre, I will be gorging on 5 course dinners, cocktails and beer and a full English fry up every morning

good luck lardy a*se
your trim and athletic ami

DK

Hey ho Darkestrunnerbean,

If you paid me what you or your company pay for you to be part of Bupa I would also tell you anything you wanted to hear...I don’t suppose they mentioned anything about you looking like Brad Pit did they? Well don’t get to excited because looking like Brad Pitt in medical terms equates to “Cess Pit” once you’ve handed over your money....sucker!!

Happy sailing...and whatever you do, do try and avoid that dreaded norovirous.... I couldn’t stand it if you returned saying you’d lost more weight than me

Regards

Nomorecheeseplease I’m on a diet.

[Onelife]

Ok I'm starting now.

6' 3" / 6' 4". and 204.6lbs this morning following the Christmas blow out.

Hi Frank,

I’ve still got one more box of chocolates to get through before I join you

As you’ve come out I think I should do the same....I did a strip weigh-in this morning (not a pretty sight) and no matter how many times I jumped on the scales they still came up with the same reading of 13 stone 10 lbs... As for my height...well I’m not too concerned about that as everybody keeps telling me how tall and handsome I am, especially when compared to the photo I showed them of the “runner bean” aka DK.

Regards

Keith aka (all 5-11 of him)

[Dark Knight]

Dear chubby squeaker

I have googled diets and the first thing that came up was

"Don't eat so much and learn some self control, you lard a*se"
pertinent advice, I am sure you would agree


your slim amigo
DK

[Kenmo1]

I have found the ideal way to lose lots of lbs next week when the diet starts ....we might not be able to eat for the week having just spent loads of another sort of pounds in the sales. Good job we are only staying in Sheffield for a few more days otherwise we would be very broke and very thin. My idea of heaven is Meadowhall, otherwise known as Meadowhell or Murderhall. Boundary Mill is also high up there on my favourite list of places to visit. I will try to be very good from now on especially as I have to fit into the new purchases.[quote][/quote]

[emjay45]

I've just made a sherry trifle. We've got a box of 'celebrations' still to eat, loads of mince pies and half a Christmas cake. I may have to wait another week before I start the diet. By then I wonder if I can think of another excuse.

[Frank Manning]

I've just made a sherry trifle.

Sherry trifle? Bliss!!

I want to get below 196lbs so approx 9lbs to lose. Sue is 123lbs and wants to be below 118lbs, although I think Sue is fine as she is.We have just put loads of stuff in the freezer to try to stave off temptation. We are trying to walk briskly for 50 minutes a day, but the weather is foul most days.

The only way is to weigh your food and count the calories and dont exceed 1600 per day Sue, and 1700 per day for me.

[Kenmo1]

I've just made a sherry trifle.

Sherry trifle? Bliss!!

I want to get below 196lbs so approx 9lbs to lose. Sue is 123lbs and wants to be below 118lbs, although I think Sue is fine as she is.We have just put loads of stuff in the freezer to try to stave off temptation. We are trying to walk briskly for 50 minutes a day, but the weather is foul most days.

The only way is to weigh your food and count the calories and dont exceed 1600 per day Sue, and 1700 per day for me.

Sue is 123lbs ..... What bliss, lucky lady.

[Stephen]

Stuff the diet................at the moment.

Cheese is my weakness, and there is still some Stilton and Brie requiring my attention. But then at 13st 8lb and 12ft tall I don't need to worry too much, unlike some, mention no names (One something or other)!

[Onelife]

12 ft tall? You need to get down from your perch me old mucker....pieces of brie, pieces of brie....

Regards

Your soon to be thin chum up North

[Onelife]

Well it's time to get serious, with one day to go before the start of the Onelife pinch-an-inch diet it's time to think about chucking out all that junk food you've been gorging yourselves on over Christmas and New year.

We had our clear out last night...l say we because my dear wife has decided to join us in our battle against the bulge.

So are you ready to line up or have you fallen at the first hurdle?

I'm off shopping this afternoon with our fat busting shopping list which seems to sway heavily on the side of fruit and veg, Ryvita, cottage cheese, Splenda granulated sugar and ample amounts of self control.

I'll be having my official weigh in tomorrow morning but l'm looking to lose two stone which should get me to my target weigh of 11 stone 10 lbs...hopfully this will be achieved by July.

Remember our first weight in will be Sunday 12th. The slimmer of the week and recipient of the coveted celery stick will be anounced the following Monday.

I wish you all good luck over the coming weeks...

Regards

Keith

[Stephen]

I'll give you a month, and then the choccies will come back out

[Dark Knight]

good luck Cheesy Porkster










your gonna need it

[Onelife]

I'll give you a month, and then the choccies will come back out

You know me Stephen......l alway keep the choccies handy.....you never know when a bit of sucky is needed

[Onelife]

[quote="Dark Knight"]good luck Cheesy Porkster

Hi vapourpuffer

I trust you're still off the evil weed?......that being the case then by comparison losing a couple of stone should be a walk in the park.



Regards

keith

[Dark Knight]

Still off the ciggies Chubster,good luck with the lettuce munching

[Onelife]

Well there we have it...13 stone 10lbs is my starting weight.

Todays menu.... bowl of cerials with Candia (just milk) We've been having this milk for some time now as it tastes much creamer than your normal semi- skimed milk and has less calories.

lunch...two Ryvita with cottage cheese with a sliced apple desert.

Dinner....two rashers of bacon (rindless) small dolop of mashed potato with tinned tomatoes.

Keep smiling

keith

[Dark Knight]

You get fed better than that in prison

[oldbluefox]

Well there we have it...13 stone 10lbs is my starting weight.

Todays menu.... bowl of cerials with Candia (just milk) We've been having this milk for some time now as it tastes much creamer than your normal semi- skimed milk and has less calories.

lunch...two Ryvita with cottage cheese with a sliced apple desert.

Dinner....two rashers of bacon (rindless) small dolop of mashed potato with tinned tomatoes.

Keep smiling

keith

That's what I call stomach rumbling...........

I wish I was 13st 10lbs................

[Wina G]

Well there we have it...13 stone 10lbs is my starting weight.

Todays menu.... bowl of cerials with Candia (just milk) We've been having this milk for some time now as it tastes much creamer than your normal semi- skimed milk and has less calories.

lunch...two Ryvita with cottage cheese with a sliced apple desert.

Dinner....two rashers of bacon (rindless) small dolop of mashed potato with tinned tomatoes.

Keep smiling

keith

Keefy, you'd be better off eating normally & just cutting down the portion size (try using a smaller plate as it still looks full) then you won't be feeling like you're missing out normal foods on a "diet" ... worked for me (with a bit of hypnotherapy help), I lost 4 stone without too much effort (still had alcohol too)

[Frank Manning]

Keith, that is daft! You need more than than.

Two weetabix, with chopped banana, and semi skimmed organic milk. Sometimes porridge with no sugar but 5 dried apricots cut into halves.

Home made fish pie; hake, an egg, parsley, white sauce, one potato mashed, and a brief grating of cheddar, peas & calbrese. (Between two)

Yoghurt one small carton.

One navel orange. One pear.

Two slice sandwich of salmon with cress.

Small piece of Christmas cake.

Several glasses of water, two cups of tea.

Enough for guaranteed weight loss. When we arre slimming we always count the calories and dont exceed our allowance. Make sure we get plenty of fruit and veg. Dont touch alcohol normally, unless special occasion or on a cruise.

It sounds to me as though you dont have much to lose anyway. Happy New Year.

[oldbluefox]

Two weetabix, with chopped banana, and semi skimmed organic milk. Sometimes porridge with no sugar but 5 dried apricots cut into halves.

Home made fish pie; hake, an egg, parsley, white sauce, one potato mashed, and a brief grating of cheddar, peas & calbrese. (Between two)

Yoghurt one small carton.

One navel orange. One pear.

Two slice sandwich of salmon with cress.

Small piece of Christmas cake.

Several glasses of water, two cups of tea.

Well, that's breakfast. What's for lunch?

We manage to lose weight by cutting down on portion sizes, going low fat, (cutting out cheese, chcocolate, crisps) and doing a brisk 45 minute walk every day. The weight is slow to come off at first but then it really does work, even allowing for a bit of cheating. If you feel peckish it's either fruit or a bowl of porridge made with half milk, half water or a jacket potato and little else.

In the past we have tried these 3 day starve yourself diets and by day two I was that ravenous I would eat anything. They just do not work and make you feel miserable.

We also lost weight once by sticking religiously to a diet but on the seventh day it was all gloves off. Effectively because you had suffered for six days it seemed a waste to go gorging yourself on the seventh so we had little treats just to make the day worthwhile. Believe me a bag of crisps or a bacon butty never tasted so good.

[Dark Knight]

3rd times the charm porkster

[Onelife]

Dam, Dam Dam.

Sod it, l've just gone and lost my reply to Frank....sod it l' have another go later when l work out what is going wrong

sh*t sh*t sh*t