My book is here :-)
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Dennis The Menace
Topic author - First Officer

- Posts: 1096
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bash Street
My book is here :-)
Well at least the proof copy is !
And it looks, amazingly, just like a proper book!! Like a proper, proper book !!!
I had wondered if it would look a bit naff but by combining the templates they supply at Amazon/Createspace, my impeccable sense of good taste and a few ideas I had in mind all along, it looks amazing - very professnial as Delboy Trotter might say.
And the cover suggests just the hint of lighthearted humour I was hoping it would.
It's just like having a new baby - minus the pooping, puking and (assuming no law-suits), drain on finances.
Thanks again for all the encouragement over the years, I would have never have got to this point without it.
Dead chuffed:-)
And it looks, amazingly, just like a proper book!! Like a proper, proper book !!!
I had wondered if it would look a bit naff but by combining the templates they supply at Amazon/Createspace, my impeccable sense of good taste and a few ideas I had in mind all along, it looks amazing - very professnial as Delboy Trotter might say.
And the cover suggests just the hint of lighthearted humour I was hoping it would.
It's just like having a new baby - minus the pooping, puking and (assuming no law-suits), drain on finances.
Thanks again for all the encouragement over the years, I would have never have got to this point without it.
Dead chuffed:-)
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Manoverboard
- Ex Team Member
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david63
- Site Admin

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Re: My book is here :-)
... or better still a copyManoverboard wrote:Care to post a pic ?
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Dennis The Menace
Topic author - First Officer

- Posts: 1096
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- Location: Bash Street
Re: My book is here :-)
Where do I post a pic in here ?
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barney
- Deputy Captain

- Posts: 5852
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- Location: Instow Devon
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Dancing Queen
- Senior First Officer

- Posts: 3819
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Derbyshire
Re: My book is here :-)
Brilliant DTM really pleased for you
If not a copy on here maybe a few extracts to whet our appetite ... the naughty bits of course

If not a copy on here maybe a few extracts to whet our appetite ... the naughty bits of course
Jo
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Jan Rosser
- Senior First Officer

- Posts: 2554
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- Location: South Wales
Re: My book is here :-)
Oooooh I'll second that suggestion JoDancing Queen wrote:Brilliant DTM really pleased for you![]()
![]()
If not a copy on here maybe a few extracts to whet our appetite ... the naughty bits of course![]()
Janis
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Silver_Shiney
- Deputy Captain

- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Re: My book is here :-)
I think you should email us all a copy so we can proof-read it.
You wouldn't want it to go to print with any smellling pistakes, would you?
You wouldn't want it to go to print with any smellling pistakes, would you?
Alan
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Manoverboard
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
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- Location: Dorset
Re: My book is here :-)
Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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cornmillgirl
- Senior Second Officer

- Posts: 407
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Lancashire
Re: My book is here :-)
Well done Dennis, have we another JK Rowling in the making?
As others have said, are we allowed a few snippets to read?
As others have said, are we allowed a few snippets to read?
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Boris+
- Senior First Officer

- Posts: 3367
- Joined: February 2013
Re: My book is here :-)
What an achievement - very very well done.
Congratulations.
Em
Congratulations.
Em
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Stephen
- Commodore

- Posts: 17762
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Down South - The civilised end of the country :)
Re: My book is here :-)
I was wondering how long it would be before 'Debbie Does Dallas' came out in hard copy
Well done DM. Will you be charging for signatures
Well done DM. Will you be charging for signatures
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Dancing Queen
- Senior First Officer

- Posts: 3819
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Derbyshire
Re: My book is here :-)
Jan, I think you probably have the same wicked sense of humour as I doJan Rosser wrote:Oooooh I'll second that suggestion JoDancing Queen wrote:Brilliant DTM really pleased for you.
If not a copy on here maybe a few extracts to whet our appetite ... the naughty bits of course![]()
Jo
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frintonite
- Second Officer

- Posts: 296
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: NE Essex
Re: My book is here :-)
Congratulations DTM, I look forward to it being released so that I can purchase copy
Just to see what you have written about me
Just to see what you have written about me
AKA Ray & Sue
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Onelife
- Captain

- Posts: 14171
- Joined: January 2013
Re: My book is here :-)
Hi DTM
I always looked forward to reading anything that carried the DTM initials and will, at the first opportunity look forward to reading what l'm sure will be an enjoyable read.
Whats the title?
Knowing your sence of humour it did cross my mind that you could have got away with....."My book is here"
Great achievement......well done!
Regards
Keith
I always looked forward to reading anything that carried the DTM initials and will, at the first opportunity look forward to reading what l'm sure will be an enjoyable read.
Whats the title?
Knowing your sence of humour it did cross my mind that you could have got away with....."My book is here"
Great achievement......well done!
Regards
Keith
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Dennis The Menace
Topic author - First Officer

- Posts: 1096
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bash Street
Re: My book is here :-)
Thanks all
I did stick with my original title in the end which was Sicknote Goes Cruising! It was as close to Debbie Does Dallas as I could get Stephen
I think I've managed to post a photo in the gallery but bear in mind I took it with my iPad
I did stick with my original title in the end which was Sicknote Goes Cruising! It was as close to Debbie Does Dallas as I could get Stephen
I think I've managed to post a photo in the gallery but bear in mind I took it with my iPad
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Dennis The Menace
Topic author - First Officer

- Posts: 1096
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bash Street
Re: My book is here :-)
P.s. DQ/CMG/Jan I'll see if I can find a suitable extract 
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Andrea S
- Senior Second Officer

- Posts: 733
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: NOTTINGHAM
Re: My book is here :-)
DTM,
DQ thinks they share they same wicked sense of humour. Is that a more polite way of saying a wink, wink, nod , nod cheeky sense of humour.
DQ thinks they share they same wicked sense of humour. Is that a more polite way of saying a wink, wink, nod , nod cheeky sense of humour.
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Manoverboard
- Ex Team Member
- Posts: 13014
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Dorset
Re: My book is here :-)
Indeed so ... click hereDennis The Menace wrote:... I think I've managed to post a photo in the gallery but bear in mind I took it with my iPad
Keep smiling, it's good for your well being
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Jan Rosser
- Senior First Officer

- Posts: 2554
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: South Wales
Re: My book is here :-)
Definitely in my case Andrea and I suspect Jo's tooAndrea S wrote:DTM,
DQ thinks they share they same wicked sense of humour. Is that a more polite way of saying a wink, wink, nod , nod cheeky sense of humour.
Janis
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Dennis The Menace
Topic author - First Officer

- Posts: 1096
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bash Street
Re: My book is here :-)
They are awful, the pair of them Andrea :-0
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Dennis The Menace
Topic author - First Officer

- Posts: 1096
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bash Street
Re: My book is here :-)
Right ok, here's a short extract. If you spot any errors don't tell me, it's gone to the printers now (for better or worse) 
"And so to yesterday. I awoke pretty wearily, but also excited that our stop in Naples (pronounced “Nipples” by out Italian guide) meant that we were able to visit Pompeii, a place that Mandy and I had both studied at school. Having breakfasted continentally in the cabin, to afford us more sleeping time, we soon joined our fellow “Ruins of Pompeii” excursion members, and hit the road for our half day trip.
About 15 minutes into the coach journey we caught our first glimpse of Mount Vesuvius, the huge volcano that dominates the Bay of Nipples. Although it’s not done so for 60 years (and I’m sure there are numerous early warning systems in place now) I couldn’t help but cast a glance up towards the summit to check for signs of imminent eruption. Whilst no visible signs were apparent, I did detect a worrying rumble or two actually, but quickly identified these to be emanating from those on the coach who had attended last night’s Indian Buffet. After that, and me still wondering whether a 60-year gap is a good or a bad thing, we were quickly through the admission gates and up the short slope to enter Pompeii, quicker than you could say “anyone smell sulphur?”
Once inside Pompeii it was clear that to say the town had been excavated was to do 250 years of hard work a complete disservice. The sheer scale and condition of the place is mind-blowing. There are so many buildings, roads and large communal areas that just look, at worst, like they’ve been unused for a while. Add in its greenery of well-placed lawns, hedges and trees, and you really have to remind yourself that Pompeii is a 2000-year-old ruin. Pompeii in 2004 is in better condition than some parts of Swindon. Having visited Knossos in Crete, in a surprisingly cultured moment of a lads’ holiday when I was 17, there is just no comparison – one is a Greek ruin, the other an instantly recognisable Roman city that was frozen in time.
But of course it was only possible for Pompeii to be as beautifully preserved as this because of Vesuvius erupting, and that fact is never more apparent than when you see the casts of those who lived and died there. Not just adults, but alongside them, their children and pets. And these casts are not their bodies, as only slight skeletal fragments remained, but instead spookily-detailed casts of the hollow spaces that were left within the hardened lava. Despite a natural curiosity, and the 2000 year gap since this happened, you can’t help but feel the sadness. Overall though, a fascinating trip in a wonderful setting, and the only downside was that Pompeii’s brothel, the walls of which are adorned with some pretty racy Roman images I’m told, was closed for some preservation works. Probably just as well, I would have blushed profusely."
"And so to yesterday. I awoke pretty wearily, but also excited that our stop in Naples (pronounced “Nipples” by out Italian guide) meant that we were able to visit Pompeii, a place that Mandy and I had both studied at school. Having breakfasted continentally in the cabin, to afford us more sleeping time, we soon joined our fellow “Ruins of Pompeii” excursion members, and hit the road for our half day trip.
About 15 minutes into the coach journey we caught our first glimpse of Mount Vesuvius, the huge volcano that dominates the Bay of Nipples. Although it’s not done so for 60 years (and I’m sure there are numerous early warning systems in place now) I couldn’t help but cast a glance up towards the summit to check for signs of imminent eruption. Whilst no visible signs were apparent, I did detect a worrying rumble or two actually, but quickly identified these to be emanating from those on the coach who had attended last night’s Indian Buffet. After that, and me still wondering whether a 60-year gap is a good or a bad thing, we were quickly through the admission gates and up the short slope to enter Pompeii, quicker than you could say “anyone smell sulphur?”
Once inside Pompeii it was clear that to say the town had been excavated was to do 250 years of hard work a complete disservice. The sheer scale and condition of the place is mind-blowing. There are so many buildings, roads and large communal areas that just look, at worst, like they’ve been unused for a while. Add in its greenery of well-placed lawns, hedges and trees, and you really have to remind yourself that Pompeii is a 2000-year-old ruin. Pompeii in 2004 is in better condition than some parts of Swindon. Having visited Knossos in Crete, in a surprisingly cultured moment of a lads’ holiday when I was 17, there is just no comparison – one is a Greek ruin, the other an instantly recognisable Roman city that was frozen in time.
But of course it was only possible for Pompeii to be as beautifully preserved as this because of Vesuvius erupting, and that fact is never more apparent than when you see the casts of those who lived and died there. Not just adults, but alongside them, their children and pets. And these casts are not their bodies, as only slight skeletal fragments remained, but instead spookily-detailed casts of the hollow spaces that were left within the hardened lava. Despite a natural curiosity, and the 2000 year gap since this happened, you can’t help but feel the sadness. Overall though, a fascinating trip in a wonderful setting, and the only downside was that Pompeii’s brothel, the walls of which are adorned with some pretty racy Roman images I’m told, was closed for some preservation works. Probably just as well, I would have blushed profusely."
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Silver_Shiney
- Deputy Captain

- Posts: 6400
- Joined: January 2013
- Location: Bradley Stoke
Re: My book is here :-)
Great stuff, Dennis
Do let us know when it is available for sale, and from where.
Do let us know when it is available for sale, and from where.
Alan
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Onelife
- Captain

- Posts: 14171
- Joined: January 2013
Re: My book is here :-)
More pleeeeeeese
I sail on the 25th
I sail on the 25th
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david63
- Site Admin

- Posts: 10936
- Joined: January 2012
- Location: Lancashire
Re: My book is here :-)
You could always put off your cruise so that you would be here for the next installmentOnelife wrote:More pleeeeeeese
I sail on the 25th