Becomming a Grandparent

[suespud]

and a pack of cards to allay the boredom..


AND A CAMERA so's you can take piccies to show us!

Well unless it's a quick birth like the twins...all done and dusted under two hours...all natural, no pain relief, just gas and air!!
Got to hospital just after midnight, Max and Ruby and mam all cleaned and comfy by two thirty.
Dad and nana and hospital staff in shock
Didn't need any loose change, snacks etc !!!!

[Boris+]

Well that's grand. However - I know that usually none of us carries small change as a rule, therefore having change available for a car park is sensible. I also know that snacky bars are going to be invaluable in our case - not everyone needs them, that's just the way it is.

I wonder though - when our daughter was born we opted for long nighties, and we were content that they were a better idea than sleepsuits (as they are called now). Now the predominant fashion seems to be for sleepsuits - but I still think that nightgowns are a better idea.

I'm also at 2s and 3s about vests versus bodysuits; and here again I reckon the old way is best - vest, not bodysuits.

As to these new fangled 'grow-bags' - I know they are fashionable, but I don't like those either!

I have a sneaky suspicion that some of these 'newish ideas' are not there to benefit the customer but to benefit the bottom line of the manufacturers etc.

Em

[david63]

Forgive a mere male interjecting but are these not the decisions of the parents?

Golden rule number one of being a grandparent is "do as the parents want, even if you do not agree, and NOT as the grandparents think it should be"

[Meg 50]

and what about birth announcements?

The Times?

[Admiral of the Humber]

Forgive a mere male interjecting but are these not the decisions of the parents?

Golden rule number one of being a grandparent is "do as the parents want, even if you do not agree, and NOT as the grandparents think it should be"

Mrs AOTH did the biz with assistance from the midwife. I was available for a bit of hand holding. Both grandmothers were at home asleep in bed

[Boris+]

Oh David, I wish, how I wish!

If only I could get them to make decisions it would be wonderful!

It took ages to get them (the prospective parents) to decide on nursery furniture - which takes 6-8 weeks from order to delivery; and ok now that has been done, they've just decided on the colour scheme for the nursery - but not on soft furnishings/bed linen.

As for the selecting of names - well I reckon baby is going to be better off with a simple serial number!

So, dear sweet wonderful David - if I could just be given some decisions I would be a happy bunny!

Em

[suespud]

John Lewis do nighties for babies.... Baby bundlers...£8 each. My daughter and dils all used them for nights. Used "sleep suits" through the day. On top of bodysuits...rather than vests which ride up.
They also use sleeping bags at night, with correct tog rating, and relevant room temp and other info.
It's much easier for the baby to keep a constant temp. The young parents taught me the new and better way to do some things.

Yes David, I agree.
I'm a very hands on nana, but go with the parents instructions, wishes, ideas and routines...( most of the time)

[Boris+]

Hi Meg,

If I remember rightly, Sue has an event in the near future - so I'll watch The Times for that announcement.

Ours won't have an announcement - no surprise there ..... everyone who 'needs to know' will probably have either an email, text or phone call.

I'm told it's the 'modern way'.

Em

[suespud]

Oh David, I wish, how I wish!

If only I could get them to make decisions it would be wonderful!

It took ages to get them (the prospective parents) to decide on nursery furniture - which takes 6-8 weeks from order to delivery; and ok now that has been done, they've just decided on the colour scheme for the nursery - but not on soft furnishings/bed linen.

As for the selecting of names - well I reckon baby is going to be better off with a simple serial number!

So, dear sweet wonderful David - if I could just be given some decisions I would be a happy bunny!

Em

I wouldn't worry about the nursery not being finished yet... It's recommended that the baby sleeps in the parents room for the first six months...

[suespud]

Hi Meg,

If I remember rightly, Sue has an event in the near future - so I'll watch The Times for that announcement.

Ours won't have an announcement - no surprise there ..... everyone who 'needs to know' will probably have either an email, text or phone call.

I'm told it's the 'modern way'.

Em

No need for the times Boris, everyone knows it's going to be a boy already... Phone calls will do.

[Boris+]

Hi Sue,

I've seen the nighties in JL - the modern day version of the lovely ones we had from Vyella. However, until I'm told what decisions have been made, I'm stuck. I've got sleepsuits for the emergency bag - but I don't like sleepsuits .... each to their own I suppose.

I can just almost predict a 'panic' shopping trip being done right at the last minute, and I honestly don't think that is a good idea.

Em

[david63]

Another mere male interjection...

Em - just chill out

This is not your baby - you have had yours.

In my experience the prospective parents will sort it all out in their own time and in their own way and what is more the baby will survive even if it does not have all the "bells and whistles" from day one.

Golden rules number two for grandparents - "too much interference will backfire at some point"

[Boris+]

Hi Sue,

Each to their own - but our daughter slept in her own nursery at night from the day she came home (and I believe it was the same for her husband too).

QED I reckon that this particular baby will go home and straight into the nursery at night. I believe that the prospective parents will follow suit.

One thing we are most definitely all agreed on - no dummies, no way.

Wish I was cruising!

Em

[Boris+]

Yes, David - a very good point.

Currently both the prospective parents are very busy career driven people, and so being the granny-to-be who (a) lives nearest and (b) uses the internet, I sort of got delegated to do some 'legwork'.

When I know that they are considering an item, then I do the research and let them know.

I have listened to their ideas - such as certain colours are not acceptable, or no dummies or keeping handknitted items to a minimum (the preference being for machine washable/dryable); and I have no objection in fitting in and going with the flow.

It is amazing though - they say what colours they don't want/don't like, they are singularly clear about it, and then what do people do - hand knitting or crocheting stuff in colours they don't want/don't like!

I personally don't see the point of giving someone a gift which the intended recipient has said plainly is not acceptable/suitable.

Time for a beautiful box of superstrong and very tasty toffee - to help with the smiling sweetly and not saying anything!

Em

[Delboy]

Forgive a mere male interjecting but are these not the decisions of the parents?

Golden rule number one of being a grandparent is "do as the parents want, even if you do not agree, and NOT as the grandparents think it should be"

I am with you on this David, I think at times Grandparents seem to want to take over at the birth, in my opinion Grandparents are there to offer support and should remain in the background, unless requested otherwise.

Surely it is up to the mother to decide what she will take to the hospital when the birth is due.

The parents of the baby, should be the ones making the decisions as what to buy for the birth, if the grandparents want to help with purchasing items required, they should first seek the wishes of the parents as to what they require. If they the parents ask for your advice fine, but it is the wishes of the parents which should be paramount.

As grandparents of three children, we have never felt the need to have a second nursery room at our home, we had a spare bedroom which could have and was used if needed.

We as Grandparents were and are always available if needed, but only if asked. Our daughter had her last baby at her home, it was a breach birth, and there was no gas and air as the machine was broken, Lorraine was there to offer support, I was at home in bed.

[Admiral of the Humber]

Due to a very crap solicitor we moved into our current house 9 days before Miss AOTH arrived on the scene. The house had been empty for two years, it was a mess.

Miss AOTH roughed it with her loving mother and father and was lucky enough to move into the first room in the house that I decorated, the nursery, about two months after she was born.

My mother was very helpful the day we brought Miss AOTH home......she turned up with a Chinese takeaway and a couple of bottles of wine...looked after the baby whilst we ate...then buggered off. For the last 17 years she's continued in the same vein, she's never interfered but she's always made herself available when we've needed her.

Regards
Rob aka AOTH

[jay-ell71]

Forgive a mere male interjecting but are these not the decisions of the parents?

Golden rule number one of being a grandparent is "do as the parents want, even if you do not agree, and NOT as the grandparents think it should be"

Oh Em. David is right. Grandparents are supposed to enjoy the new baby, not worry about every little thing. I am sure your daughter will have a bag packed and ready for when the time comes. The chance of delivery in the supermarket is nil.
You must not waste your money on things the parents don't want or need. Vests ride up, body-vests keep baby comfortable and neat. Grow bags are for tomatoes. I think you mean sleeping bag. These are a great innovation for slightly older babies who kick the covers off, get cold and wake up.
Things have changed a lot since you had your daughter. It is not "wrong" but "different" For instance baby talc is not used any more. There was some research that suggested that baby talc caused ovarian cancer. Absolute rubbish I think, but no talc allowed, and so no talc it was. Of course it could have all chained by now, my grandsons are 9 and 4 now.
As far as them making decisions, most young people today subscribe to the "Last Minute", it is their way.

I wish you and your family well in the coming weeks, (months) but you must relax, so your daughter will relax too.

[Delboy]

Yes, David - a very good point.

Currently both the prospective parents are very busy career driven people, and so being the granny-to-be who (a) lives nearest and (b) uses the internet, I sort of got delegated to do some 'legwork'.
Em

Em

If the busy career driven people, are having problems on making decisions before the baby is born, how will they cope when it is born.

[david63]

Golden rule number three for grandparents - "learn the difference between 'please help' (which really means keep out) and 'please help" (which means please help)"

[Admiral of the Humber]

Yes, David - a very good point.

Currently both the prospective parents are very busy career driven people, and so being the granny-to-be who (a) lives nearest and (b) uses the internet, I sort of got delegated to do some 'legwork'.
Em

Em

If the busy career driven people, are having problems on making decisions before the baby is born, how will they cope when it is born.

Somehow things get done, the careers drive on, the child moves into her nursery, starts school, moves to big school, wins a bucketful of GCSE's and before you know it the baby is 17 years old......

[Delboy]

Yes, David - a very good point.

Currently both the prospective parents are very busy career driven people, and so being the granny-to-be who (a) lives nearest and (b) uses the internet, I sort of got delegated to do some 'legwork'.
Em

Em

If the busy career driven people, are having problems on making decisions before the baby is born, how will they cope when it is born.

Somehow things get done, the careers drive on, the child moves into her nursery, starts school, moves to big school, wins a bucketful of GCSE's and before you know it the baby is 17 years old......

Glad to hear it, hope the same works out for Em's grandchild.

[Andrea S]

Em, I don't know what a grow bag is but I find it very exciting buying 'modern' baby clothes. The choice of outfits and the available colours is absolutely amazing.

When my children were born they wore long flannel nightdresses and white smocked dresses for daytime. This was the way you dressed both boys and girls.
Shock - horror if that is how you were to dress them nowadays.

Nappies were terry towelling and had to be boiled on the stove , the ease of disposable nappies is so much nicer.
As others have said being a Grandparent is the support you give to them as a family, they are not your responsibility . You will get your own rewards as time goes on.

I cannot imagine a new Mum who doesn't want the baby with them at all times, I find the idea of a baby in its own room from day one quite sad.

[Boris+]

I note the point about not buying stuff which the parents-to-be may not either need or want, but the current situation on the ground here leads me to feel certain that some action is better than no action on my part.

I do however wonder about the wisdom of vests versus body suits - below the waist a body suit is an extra layer - which I don't necessarily think is a good idea, and if a nappy is 'well-used' then the lower end of a body suit could necessitate the changing of same; and that could lead to unnecessary disruption of a sleepy baby.

I suppose that's also part of the reason for selecting a nightgown as opposed to a sleep suit; and as far as those 'grobags' are concerned (I'm sure that's the 'brand' name), I just reckon they are not a good idea - except for the manufacturers. That's just me and my way of assessing things.

I do feel the need to have a part nursery set up at home here - and that way there's no need for lugging stuff around everywhere; it isn't a must, it's just the way I'm going to do it.

However, we've got a few issues to contend with, a couple of problems to get through first.

Meanwhile, good wishes to all those waiting for a 'happy arrival'.

Em

[jay-ell71]

Regarding parents with Careers….. Before baby is born they are sure that life will go on exactly the same after the birth as before. They will work at the same pace and baby will fit in. Immediately after baby arrives, they discover that things are really very different. Then the parents adapt to their situation, make the right decisions and make them at the right time. Do not worry. If they haven't got around to buying nappies by the time your daughter goes into hospital, then prospective Daddy will be despatched to get some. If they haven't got a cot, then baby will sleep in the carry cot that comes with the buggy. No problem. As I said .. Relax Em.

Babygro is what you are thinking of. They are not very new. My babies are 47 and 45 and they certainly wore them.

[Boris+]

Hi Jay,

Relaxing is in fits and starts - we get everything on an even keel and then hit another hiccough!

Sincerely, not wishing to dispute this Grobag lark - they are sold in Kiddicare, Mothercare, JL, etc. Whereas a Babygro (which is now referred to in loads of shops as sleepsuits) are made of sort of stretch towelling sort of fabric, Gro bags are basically like the top of a pinafore and the bottom is a sleeping bag. All in one. They come in different 'tog' weights; and my thing is that if a baby gets too hot and you have bedding layers, it is simple enough to remove a layer without overly disturbing the baby. If there is a nappy or sickness incident then the same comment applies. If you have one of these grobag things then you have to virtually undress the baby and redress the baby - which is making hard work of a simple situation in my book.

And - what about laundering these grobag things? Laundering a sleepsuit or nightie is easy peasy.

There again, if you have layers of bedding you have flexibility of supply on hand, so you might have perhaps sufficient bedding to do 3 or 4 changes, but if you go for the grobag idea, then if you only have 2 or 3 of them you could quickly run into a problem. Then again - if you go for nighties and bedding then the bedding will last until you either change the décor or change the cot/cotbed. Everytime baby moves up a size, you need to have new grobags, and also different tog ratings - I think grobags are a 'con' to make money for the manufacturers.

I could be wrong - no offence meant - it's just my silly way of thinking.

I do think though that everything depends on loads of different factors - and the most important thing is love.

Em