Becomming a Grandparent

[Meg 50]

http://gro.co.uk/grobag-baby-sleep-bags

[david63]

...and the most important thing is love.

... and a baby can never have too much love

[Admiral of the Humber]

...and the most important thing is love.

... and a baby can never have too much love

......or ice skating lessons..

[jay-ell71]

Oh I see. Grobag = sleeping bag. Yes my grandsons had "Grobags" They did not get too hot. When very small your new grandchild will not be in a Grobag, that comes when they are moving about and they are excellent for keeping baby warm at night. However, advice to you is to try to keep calm, stand back, relax. Agree with everything your daughter says. It will all work out. None of us knew how to be parents until we were. There is no book in the world that can tell you how it will be when you are parents, and yet on the whole we make it work. Here we all are, with the next generation coming along, despite all/any mistakes we made. Please Em, do not worry. It will be OK Grobags or no Grobags.

[emjay45]

Hi Em
Just make the most of it like your own children, your grandchildren are babies for just a very short time. They all grow up too fast.

[Admiral of the Humber]

Hi Em
Just make the most of it like your own children, your grandchildren are babies for just a very short time. They all grow up too fast.

Before you know it you have momentous days like we had today....the baby's provisional driving licence dropped on the doormat....

[suespud]

95 % of parents use sleeping bags...they wash and dry very easily. They give instructions about how many layer of clothing the baby should wear.
As for changing a baby with a bodysuit on when asleep....Don't !!! If they are asleep they must be comfy. Babies don't like dirty nappies...they will soon wake up.
Boris, I think you just might be over thinking stuff, just a little ....

As I said earlier, I am VERY involved with my grandchildren. I do their child care and I am on call to them.
Whilst I am very careful of any advice I give, my daughter and dil's realise that as I worked with babies
for many years( teaching young people parenting skills) they often ask my opinion and advice.
But what works for one doesn't always work for another. The mams and babies are all different.

[Boris+]

Hi Sue,

We'll have to wait and see - it's not my decision, but if it was my decision I wouldn't use them; again we can put it down simply to me being quirky.
However, thanks for your reply.

I can't really think of a situation which can be overthought - or overworked, unless it's frills on a dress or icing on a cake.

Meanwhile, I'm getting heartily fed up with these big companies with branches everywhere (and not just for baby items) - what on earth happened to all those wonderful children and baby shops which all towns used to have?

Anyway, finally it looks as though the nursery has been decorated, so may be we can encourage the selection of bed linen. Then there's another quandary .... mixed messages.

We were all discussing patterns on nursery soft furnishings, and we've come across numerous items which have false or mixed or confusing messages; these include blue horses and pink cats. Is it wrong to impress on young and tender minds images which are completely wrong?

That then leads me on to this daft business of pink or blue (dolls or trucks). Warning - minefield ahead methinks! I am very much against little girls being forced to play with kitchens or dolls, and little boys being forced to play with trucks and trains.

Em

[Boris+]

Hi Rob,

A provisional driving licence eh? You lucky, lucky boy! So, you get to do the 'up close and personal tour of local hedgerows'? Try extra tasty very strong toffee - it's very good for people 'riding shotgun' whilst the old L plates get an airing!

Very best wishes for a peaceful and harmonious teaching session!

Em

[suespud]

Hi Sue,

We'll have to wait and see - it's not my decision, but if it was my decision I wouldn't use them; again we can put it down simply to me being quirky.
However, thanks for your reply.

I can't really think of a situation which can be overthought - or overworked, unless it's frills on a dress or icing on a cake.

Meanwhile, I'm getting heartily fed up with these big companies with branches everywhere (and not just for baby items) - what on earth happened to all those wonderful children and baby shops which all towns used to have?

Anyway, finally it looks as though the nursery has been decorated, so may be we can encourage the selection of bed linen. Then there's another quandary .... mixed messages.

We were all discussing patterns on nursery soft furnishings, and we've come across numerous items which have false or mixed or confusing messages; these include blue horses and pink cats. Is it wrong to impress on young and tender minds images which are completely wrong?

That then leads me on to this daft business of pink or blue (dolls or trucks). Warning - minefield ahead methinks! I am very much against little girls being forced to play with kitchens or dolls, and little boys being forced to play with trucks and trains.

Em

Boris, the more you go on the...the more I think you have to be taking the Michael.
If you are not... I think the phrase us...." Get a life" .
Not meaning to be rude....but come on.

[Boris+]

Hi Sue,

No, I am not as you so succinctly put it 'taking the michael'. I really don't like to see children or babies automatically put into clothing etc which is either pink or blue according to whether the person in question is female or male.

Similarly I don't like the activities or thoughts of a young person being albeit softly pre-conditioned into roles which are dictated according to sex; and I know that my daughter and her husband think along the same lines.

I believe that babies and children should be given absolutely every opportunity possible and in as much as it is wrong to constrict the growth, development and health of young 'green' bones by clothes which restrict; I also believe that it is wrong to channel babies and children into preconceived roles simply because of which category a baby or child is in.

So, no Sue - I am deadly serious, not 'taking the michael'.

You are heartily welcome to your cherished beliefs, similarly by that token I am entitled to mine.

Em

[The Tinker]

Oh dear - reading this topic with interest. You mentioned 'no dummies'. Remember - we are all different - my firstborn could spit a dummy 4 feet across the room and would not have one - he screamed the place down - would not sleep and suffered with colic - how I wish a dummy would have settled him!

My daughter loved a dummy and it settled her off to sleep - you guys are saying 'no dummies' but it will be interesting to see if they have an unsettled baby WHEN they will resort to buying one.

[Delboy]

Hi Em
Just make the most of it like your own children, your grandchildren are babies for just a very short time. They all grow up too fast.

Before you know it you have momentous days like we had today....the baby's provisional driving licence dropped on the doormat....

Taught both my Son & Daughter to drive, my son passed his test first time, my daughter who is 6 years younger than my son, passed hers at her second attempt.

Did not have the same success with my wife, she still does not drive

[Jacknian]

I have been interested to read the different views expressed here. One thing comes to mind, all babies and all parents are different. They all have their own personalities ( even 1 week old babies ) and all parents have their own ideas about how to bring up their baby. Things have changed a lot since we had our children, and the most important thing for a grandparent is to let the parents get on with it in their own way and not to interfere. Our daughter used the grobags for our grandchildren when they were over 6 months old and in fact they are not recommended for young babies, our grandchildren slept in their parents room for the first 6 months as apparently this is now advised by the national childbirth trust to help avoid cot death. ( it seems research has proved this ) during the day they were dressed in baby grows which are convenient and comfy they were cleaned with baby wipes, put into disposable nappies and never had talcum powder put on their bottoms ! This is all different to how my babies were treated but it's how our daughter wanted to do things and it's the modern way so I kept my mouth shut and did as she wanted. After all they were not MY babies and thank god for that ! Being a grandparent is the nicest thing ever, the best part being handing them back at the end of the day. Em, relax and enjoy , I think you are understandably stressed about the whole thing but after all the baby will not be your responsibility. ( unless you're babysitting of course )

[wolfie]

I rarely post, for personal reasons, BUT, this thread is quite unbelievable.

Parents have the say so, end of.

Each of our parents contributed to buying things, buggy, cots, etc. BUT neither of them dictated to us what we should choose with regards to other things, we chose, and neither did they exert their preconceived ideas on us.... even 28 years ago things had changed from my days as a baby and how my Mum did it.

I had twins, eventually, after many hiccups and surgery. Despite everything that I did, make that didn't do, as advised, they were still born over 10 weeks prematurely with almost 2 dozen medics in attendance; obstetrician , anaesthetists , midwives , SCBU nurses and others whose job description I didn't know and, at the time, couldn't care less about.

They spent many weeks in SCBU and were eventually allowed home, still very small and needing feeding every 2-3 hours. I didn't give a hoot what they wore as long as they were OK, AND, I didn't buy a thing before they were born just in case things went pear shaped, again. The day after we got one of them home saw me leaving her with my OH and scurrying to town because she would not feed from the bottles that I had bought; same with twin 2 when she came home; over 7 weeks after they were born, but well before the date that we had been told to anticipate..........their due date and longer.

So, boris, chill out and prepare to enjoy the experience and NOT treat it as a military exercise.

So, whatever the, 'reasons on the ground' are, and I do hope they are not as serious as mine were, just chill out and more importantly, don't interfere, even if you feel that the parents are not up to speed with your way of thinking for the arrival, keep a low profile, they will thank you for it, and I think they may also thank you for also not voicing your concerns regarding their preparations, or your perceived lack of them,in public.

I didn't buy a thing until they were born; OK cots were ordered but could have been cancelled, ditto the pram, all on a,' just in case,' scenario. Our 2 survived without any angst as to whether vests or babygros were the best. TG neither my mother or MIL were as controlling as you appear to be.

[Delboy]

Hi Sue,

No, I am not as you so succinctly put it 'taking the michael'. I really don't like to see children or babies automatically put into clothing etc which is either pink or blue according to whether the person in question is female or male.

Similarly I don't like the activities or thoughts of a young person being albeit softly pre-conditioned into roles which are dictated according to sex; and I know that my daughter and her husband think along the same lines.

I believe that babies and children should be given absolutely every opportunity possible and in as much as it is wrong to constrict the growth, development and health of young 'green' bones by clothes which restrict; I also believe that it is wrong to channel babies and children into preconceived roles simply because of which category a baby or child is in.

So, no Sue - I am deadly serious, not 'taking the michael'.

You are heartily welcome to your cherished beliefs, similarly by that token I am entitled to mine.

Em

We certainly did not pre condition either our son or daughter into roles dictated to by sex, our son often played with things associated with the female sex and our daughter with things associated with the male sex. They developed their own likes and dislikes as they grew up, our son growing up into a big burley builder, makes fantastic cakes, and our daughter into a tom boy, who now has 3 children of her own.

However we did dress them in clothes associated with their sex, not preconceived but actual, until the time came they were old enough to have an input in to what they wore.

You say daughter and SIL think along the same lines as you, maybe in the case of your daughter, her thoughts were pre-conditioned by yourself, in the way you brought her up. We all influence our children one way or another when bringing them up, but the world changes and moves on, so do our children.

All parents have there own ideas on how to raise their children, in my view the best thing Grand Parents can do is sit back and let their children to get on with raising their own children, but be there when needed and offer advice if asked, certainly not dictating.

[ItsmeAnnC]

Being the grandmother of a six-month old girl, I'm finding this interesting. I'm constantly bemused and wonder at the things my daughter uses that weren't around when she was a baby. Bottles that you can sterilise in the microwave! Sleeping bags - what a wonderful invention - no more kicked off bedclothes and she's so snug. When I babysit it's so easy to change her, if necessary - they just zip all around and there are poppers on the shoulders, which you don't need to undo unless taking it off completely. No need to wake baby at all. Car seats that clip straight into a wheeled frame that turns into a pushchair, or a pram body that uses the same frame. Chairs that vibrate and flash coloured lights on the canopy.
We never used monitors and our babies went straight into their own rooms. Not now. I never used dummies, but my daughter has found one invaluable when baby was inconsolable due to acid reflux, which is now treated with medication, after being referred to a paediatrician. She (baby, that is) has now rejected it of her own accord. But , please, never say never. Every baby is different and you have to consider every modern invention available - who am I to say don't use them? I don't have anything stored at my home - if baby comes to visit her equipment comes too, even high chair. I haven't got room to store spares of baby things.
I was present during the labour at my daughter and her husband's request - gosh - when mine were born men were only just starting to attend births as the norm. I'm on hand when needed and answer queries by phone. I never offer advice unless asked and I always ask permission to have a cuddle. I guess my paediatric nurse training has come in useful. But the other day I heard my daughter pay me the biggest compliment - "I try not to use so-and-so for babysitting because she does things I ask her not to do, but Mum does what I want."

[suespud]

Hi Sue,

We'll have to wait and see - it's not my decision, but if it was my decision I wouldn't use them; again we can put it down simply to me being quirky.
However, thanks for your reply.

I can't really think of a situation which can be overthought - or overworked, unless it's frills on a dress or icing on a cake.

Meanwhile, I'm getting heartily fed up with these big companies with branches everywhere (and not just for baby items) - what on earth happened to all those wonderful children and baby shops which all towns used to have?

Anyway, finally it looks as though the nursery has been decorated, so may be we can encourage the selection of bed linen. Then there's another quandary .... mixed messages.

We were all discussing patterns on nursery soft furnishings, and we've come across numerous items which have false or mixed or confusing messages; these include blue horses and pink cats. Is it wrong to impress on young and tender minds images which are completely wrong?

That then leads me on to this daft business of pink or blue (dolls or trucks). Warning - minefield ahead methinks! I am very much against little girls being forced to play with kitchens or dolls, and little boys being forced to play with trucks and trains.

Em

So you don't think you are overthinking bed linen...lol... Mixed messages for newly born babies??? It's a pattern on a cover.... Nothing more. Not worth anymore discussion.


I do agree with not stereo typing young children...let them play with what they want. Don't have a problem with that at all.

As for restricting growth by wearing Babygros... Lolol hmmmmm didn't do mine any harm....6ft 8 and 6ft 6.
I guess by your thinking, no socks or shoes...???.
Ohhh and btw, baby gap do lovely skinny leg pjs for babies.... But they are quite fitted... Be careful in case they restrict the growth of the legs.....

[Boris+]

Hi Delboy,

I quietly hoped and dreamt that our daughter would be into languages, history, classics ( so maybe a legal career), and I went with the flow and bought little pink(ish) dresses. When she made her own decisions for her career from about age 11 I was a little surprised, but let her have her own head. How she has turned out as far as career is concerned couldn't be more different from what I had hoped for when she was little, but we supported her all along the way, so I don't really think that we conditioned her - more like she conditioned us.

What bothers me at the moment is that I look around at different clothing suppliers (and soft furnishings too), and the only soft furnishing I can find (which I like the quality of the fabric of) which is not 'sexist' is a range at JL with farmyard animals on. It's bright and colourful without being garish, and as the baby grows up it can be educational. Otherwise the choice is pink etc or blue with boats or trains! I think it's a bit limited.

As far as clothing is concerned I can similarly take issue with loads of ranges, but at least at Baby Gap there is a small selection of clothes that fit the bill.

Em

[Meg 50]

I guess my paediatric nurse training has come in useful....

That is the difference - my mother had a voluntary job in a baby clinic and only interfered once ( when she told me who to appoint as Godparents - which we ignored having already put them in place).
She knew that I would occasionally voice a concern/comment and she would say what she'd overheard the health visitors suggest...

Mother in law was some'at else, but rapidly learnt she was wasting her time

[Romig1]

Suespud said......"So you don't think you are overthinking bed linen...lol... Mixed messages for newly born babies??? It's a pattern on a cover.... Nothing more. Not worth anymore discussion... "

Sue, that's just soooo untrue.

My first duvet cover was Barbie (cast down from my sister).... and I'm still madly attracted to blokes called Ken.....

[Kenmo1]

Suespud said......"So you don't think you are overthinking bed linen...lol... Mixed messages for newly born babies??? It's a pattern on a cover.... Nothing more. Not worth anymore discussion... "

Sue, that's just soooo untrue.

My first duvet cover was Barbie (cast down from my sister).... and I'm still madly attracted to blokes called Ken.....

I wondered why you were sitting so close to my husband when we were on the Arcadia with you

[Romig1]

Suespud said......"So you don't think you are overthinking bed linen...lol... Mixed messages for newly born babies??? It's a pattern on a cover.... Nothing more. Not worth anymore discussion... "

Sue, that's just soooo untrue.

My first duvet cover was Barbie (cast down from my sister).... and I'm still madly attracted to blokes called Ken.....

I wondered why you were sitting so close to my husband when we were on the Arcadia with you

Now you know Maureen...... he's a bit lush isn't he?

[Kenmo1]

Romig - you sure you don't mean a bit of a lush in the alcoholic sense ?

[Romig1]

That too! We also have something in common....do you think I'm in with a chance??