Catch up from Lindsey

[Whynd1]

Morning all

Hope you all had a good Christmas.
I hope to be able to post a quick review if my Christmas markets cruise on Iona.

I haven't used the forum much lately due to being swamped by family members being poorly.

My dad who turned 96 in December is now having to be moved into the nursing home where my mum has been for the last 9 years, he is very poorly and frail and is unable to manage even with his carers for much longer. The nursing home staff see it as very romantic not sure what he would make of that. We will need to sell the apartment as for them both care home fees we will be looking at £3.000 for them both a week. !!!

My husband has been unwell for much of the year and is on the list for an urgent referral to a cardiologist and has to have lots of scans and tests the first week of January.

However I did manage with the help of our son who kindly looked after his father and the dog to have a break away on Iona for a week and met up with my cruising friend.

I hope to be able to post any cruise reports Sue Kersh may send through, which will be a lovely read in the winter months.

I have a first cruise with Saga booked for the end of August so am hoping all will be well for me to travel as am really looking forward to a new experience.
Best wishes to you all.

Lindsey

[Stephen]

Oh dear Lindsey, things not too good for you at the moment. Hopefully things improve in the new year.

Like you we are having a Saga cruise next year which will be a new experience for us having always sailed with P&O, apart from one celebrity cruise.

All the best for 2024

[allatc]

care home fees we will be looking at £3.000 for them both a week. !!!

That's £150k per year.
You could employ two full time carers and have money left over for that.

What about equity release ?

[barney]

My mother in law has very severe dementia.
She’s been in the care home for seven years now.
She couldn’t be looked after in any other environment.
The money has long gone (over £250k) and her care is now financed by Devon County Council.
Fortunately, because of her condition, they have agreed that she can stay in the same Home.

[Whynd1]

It's a bit complicated, the apartment is in joint names so once sold mum goes back to paying full costs.
He cant remain where he is he already having 4 care visits a day with an 1hr in the morning and evening and they have I dictated that the time is fast approaching when they feel he needs 24hr care.
He has been diagnosed with lung cancer and as a family we have requested that hes made comfortable rather than having invasive treatment.

Lindsey

[Jan Rosser]

Lindsey I am so sorry you are going through so much with family at the moment - it’s difficult when parents get old and infirm - such a worry. I hope your husband gets his tests in the new year and the doctors can help him too. Thinking of you - take care xxx

[Whynd1]

Just a quick update,my father is now comfortable in the care home, he is in the next room to mum.

Re his funding, as he is under the palliative care team the NHS has put him on the chc funding. Meaning he only pays a small top us fee.

Lindsey

[Mervyn and Trish]

care home fees we will be looking at £3.000 for them both a week. !!!

That's £150k per year.
You could employ two full time carers and have money left over for that.

What about equity release ?

The problem is 2 carers wouldn't be enough. To provide 24 hour a day care, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, allowing for time off and holidays, needs 6 full time people. That's the basis the NHS works on and why intensive care beds are so expensive to run. Sadly there's no cheap or easy solution to care in later life.

[CaroleF]

So much of the palliative care is given by hospices which receive no funding at all, only voluntary donations. John was in a hospice for the final four weeks of his life and received the most wonderful care. I don't know how we would have managed without it and his time wouldn't have been as comfortable as it was. We were exceptionally lucky that he was able to stay for so long, usually it's never longer than a fortnight. We were told that he might have to be moved to a nursing home and we did have one lined up but each time he was going to be moved the hospice said he wasn't well enough to be moved. That hospice is paid for by purely voluntary donations. It really is amazing. Lyndsay, I know something of what you are going through but to have so much on your shoulders. I'm pleased to hear your parents are next door to one another, that must be a great relief.

Carole

[Whynd1]

Well a quick catch up.
My father passed away peacefully last Monday, I was with him at the end.
Early this morning received a phone call from the nursing home to say mum had passed away suddenly. She wasn't well but it was a shock.

She must have decided she wanted to join father.

So arrangements for dad on hold and we are hoping to have a combined service etc.

Today of all days.
Lindsey

[Jan Rosser]

Oh my goodness Lindsey I am so sorry - what a terrible shock for you and the family. So difficult to know what to say to you at this sad time except you will be in my thoughts - losing close family is never easy - sending you my love and sincere condolences.

[Stephen]

My condolences Lindsey.

[Mervyn and Trish]

Sorry to hear that Lindsey

[barney]

Sincere condolences Lindsey

[oldbluefox]

So sorry to hear that Lindsey. Sincere condolences.

[Ray B]

We send our condolences to you Lindsey on what must be a difficult time.

[CaroleF]

I'm so sorry to hear this Lindsey. I'm sure you'll have many happy memories to treasure. They do help.

Carole

[cruisin_duo]

So sorry to hear this Lindsey. Take care.