Bank Holiday Week-end

[karenandbob]

Not only have we had wonderful weather this week-end but we have celebrated our little grandson Lex's 1st birthday with a "Pirate" party but we also had a great day out at the North Somerset Agricultural Show with my lovely daughter and her partner. What a wonderful week-end.

[gfwgfw]

K&B

Sounds like a good day

Family days are great, make no mistake about that

[Jan Rosser]

I've been lucky enough this weekend to have a visit from my son and family and it is so lovely to spend time with my granddaughters - they live up north and I don't see them as often as I'd like to so it's been a real treat to see them - they are such good company It was my son's birthday so we had a cake and candles and champagne (courtesy of P&O ) - fabulous

[Boris+]

I've just taken off my WW2 gas mask!!! The day started merrily enough with a little light gardening followed by morning coffee etc.

Then a nearby neighbour decided to 'learn' how to either elect a Pope or cook 4 burgers and 4 sausages on his new bbq. I didn't like to say anything, but honestly it was awful! 4 hours later he gave up - having wasted 4 burgers and 4 sausages (not much of a bbq then).

Alternatively, he may have been trying to elect a new pope with a whole load of indecisive voters, or playing wild west cowboy games and trying to do a smoke signal to get the attention of the cavalry! Whichever it was he was trying to do, I really hope it rains next weekend - I can't stand another load of playing gorillas in the mist with all that smoke. Yes, it was that bad.

Em

[Jan Rosser]

Oh dear Em that made me laugh My son once found a genuine WW2 gas mask in my mother-in-law's cupboard under the stairs and wore it when my sister-in-law visited as he said he couldn't breathe while she was smoking

This was many years ago but reading your post brought it all back

What is it with barbecues and men pretending to be chefs and burning everything - yuuk

Sorry it spoilt your day in the garden Em perhaps as he made such a pig's ear of it he'll not attempt it again - well lets hope so anyway.

[Susan Watt]

We went out for a drive but couldn't get parked anywhere

[Boris+]

Hi Jan,

Maybe it's me and I was being too judgemental - but my son-in-law does a smashing bbq, and really hardly any smoke. He prides himself on his bbq performance, and some of the food is truly delicious, utterly tempting and with all the various sauces maybe just a bit calorific!

This chap near us though - he invited a load of people around and has a new bbq which is really only big enough for 2 people! I think that in the end most of them raided the fridge in desperation for something to eat - but at one end of the our back garden is was like a misty scene from gorillas in the mist!

However, today is Tuesday and they are off to work - up the workers! I really hope that everyone else on the forum had a lovely bank holiday, and that anyone who had to work is going to have a nice day off in lieu when the weather is kind to them.

Em

[Kendhni]

The Barbecue

1. The woman goes out to buy the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with all the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill with a beer in his hand (just as it should be)
4. The man places the meat on the grill
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates, cutlery, napkins, table etc..
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning/on fire/cremated. He thanks her and tells her to bring him another beer as he deals with the situation.
7. The man removes the meat form the grill and hands it to the woman on the plate she has just brought him.
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table, does the dishes, takes the rubbish out and cleans out the barbecue.
10. Everyone Praises the man and thanks him for the splendid meal.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed having a night off and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing women.

[Boris+]

Hi Ken,

I spotted an 'oooops' moment in your list above. You didn't mention that the grill had been correctly lit, in a safe position - and taking into account any prevailing wind or breeze. Then you didn't mention ensuring that the grill was up to the optimum temperature for cooking.

The silly man who lives near us thought that shoving loads of lighters on the bbq and having a flame or two (yes that's a flame and not nicely glowing charcoal) was the way to do it! He used up more than one box of lighters!!! Hence - gorillas in the mist.

Em

[Andrea S]

Ken, You obviously like to have your lovely lady running around.

You are spot on for most of the instructions, - from a mans point of view -,but fetching another beer,? What happened to the good old ice bucket. Our men couldn't wait long enough for us to be running indoors.

[Stephen]

The Barbecue

1. The woman goes out to buy the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with all the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill with a beer in his hand (just as it should be)
4. The man places the meat on the grill
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates, cutlery, napkins, table etc..
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning/on fire/cremated. He thanks her and tells her to bring him another beer as he deals with the situation.
7. The man removes the meat form the grill and hands it to the woman on the plate she has just brought him.
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table, does the dishes, takes the rubbish out and cleans out the barbecue.
10. Everyone Praises the man and thanks him for the splendid meal.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed having a night off and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing women.

Someones been nicking my material!

Don't forget the 3 metre female exclusion zone around the BBQ Ken

[Kendhni]

Stephen I first read that spiel in PTQ (the rag magazine produced by the university I went to) ... that has to be some 30 or so years ago

[Silver_Shiney]

The only use I found for my (cold war) gas mask was to protect me from the fumes when I was creosoting a fence. My son, who was 4 at the time, saw me and screamed, he was scared spitless by "daddy's funny hat"

[Frank Manning]

The Barbecue

1. The woman goes out to buy the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with all the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill with a beer in his hand (just as it should be)
4. The man places the meat on the grill
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates, cutlery, napkins, table etc..
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning/on fire/cremated. He thanks her and tells her to bring him another beer as he deals with the situation.
7. The man removes the meat form the grill and hands it to the woman on the plate she has just brought him.
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table, does the dishes, takes the rubbish out and cleans out the barbecue.
10. Everyone Praises the man and thanks him for the splendid meal.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed having a night off and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing women.

Ken that is hilarious and true, I ,must use it. I was smiling until I got to No 11, that is priceless!