A bit morbid

[Ray Scully]

Talking with friends the other week and commenting on the demise of an acquaintance who had died suddenly from a heart attack. The conversation got round what is the best way to shuffle of this mortal coil. The consensus was a sudden event, however this can be awful for those left behind.

Ray

[davecttr]

lets lighten it up a bit.

Q - how would you like to go?
A - in my sleep like my grandfather and not screaming in terror like his passengers.

[Frank Manning]

Yes I have been to a funeral this afternoon. There is nothing nice about it whichever way you look at it.

[Meg 50]

I'm off to a thanksgiving service/ interment of ashes tomorrow.


I agree with Ray - from the deceased's point of view I reckon the quicker the better - though someone once said to me that they'd like long enough to say goodbye to loved ones.

[Andrea S]

Frank, I agree that funerals are not pleasant affairs.

Today we have said goodbye to our Granddaughters friend. She was 7 years old. The school has been amazing and held a special assembly at the same time as the service.

[Jan Rosser]

I too agree with Ray and I can speak here from personal experience - coming home from work to find your husband "asleep" in the chair was a terrible shock but now many years later I can honestly say it was the kindest way for him. I am a great believer in fate and only ten days before my youngest grandson had been christened in our local church and we had a party with family and friends so all those closest to us had seen him only a short time before he died - something that could never have been planned but was a comfort to them and to me.

[Stephen]

With a on your face

[Dancing Queen]

Just to lighten it up.

Ideally with a glass of Red in one hand and a 'ciggie' in the other screaming what a wonderful time I've had

On a more serious note, for me I would prefer quietly in my sleep and the same for loved ones I wouldn't want any of them to suffer a long illness.

[Silver_Shiney]

My dad just drifted off in his hospital bed, with us sitting there watching the numbers on the heart-rate monitor slowly counting down until he "red-lined" at 25. My sister, who as a Sister in elderly wards has seen many old folk die, said dad had had "a lovely death". It was still upsetting for us. I remembered walking out of the hospital, seeing people walking in who were laughing and joking, and wanting to scream at them "What's your problem, don't you realise I've just lost my dad?" - totally irrational.

I sympathise with Jan - at least you understood what was going on, fair maiden. The Lady C came home at the age of 7 to find her mother dead on the kitchen floor - it's only in the last couple of years that she's been allowed to grieve and come to terms with it.

If I'm going to die, I'd rather it was instant, or in my sleep. I don't do pain, it's against my religion (I'm a devout coward).

[Boris+]

If - what a big word that is, and what a huge ask this is .......

If I could see those closest to me and have a lovely happy but quiet time with them, and then 'unexpectedly' just happen to die quietly with no fuss just a day or so later that would be grand.

I certainly don't want a long time depending on other people, I just would like to 'leave the room' on a nice sunny afternoon - quietly.

As for funerals - oh no, not for me. The less fuss the better; yes I'd like to pass on my gratitude to people, but I don't want any fuss.

However, currently I'm much too busy being a granny to think about 'it'.

Em

[Meg 50]

I hope you've made a will....

[Meg 50]

the thanksgiving service I went to today - the funeral was last week, but a long way away, so since most rellies and friends live near here this was the 'real' funeral - also including interment of ashes...

anyway, the lady concerned had had Parkinson's for donkey's years and was in decline due to various other factors...
she had made it very clear that DNR was the order of the day, so when she had a stroke a couple of weeks ago and slipped in and out of a coma her nearest and dearest used it as an opportunity to say goodbye and after a few days she slipped away in a dignified fashion.

A beautiful service filled with smiles and laughter. Just sorry that I had to go on my own - she was JD's Godmother, but JD is backpacking in India so couldn't come. She did get a mention though!

[david63]

Not my favourite pastime I have to admit, but I don't mind going to funerals - just as long as it is not mine