Mornin All ~~~ :) ~~~

[Stephen]

It's Friday Fun Time

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife (your daughter) telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip.

I get home... and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife
Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law.

"There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"Paddy. I told you there must be a simple explanation .....
She never got your E-mail!"

[Stephen]

Why is it bad luck to run over a scouser on a bike? It might be your bike.

[Mervyn and Trish]

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[qbman1]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." '

[qbman1]

Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

[qbman1]

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[oldbluefox]

A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah.
While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband casually remarked, “I’ll bet the antelope gets away.”
The wife answered, “If that antelope survives this one, I’ll give you sex every day for the rest of your life.”
The deadly chase was recorded. Click here,

[Mervyn and Trish]

A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah.
While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband casually remarked, “I’ll bet the antelope gets away.”
The wife answered, “If that antelope survives this one, I’ll give you sex every day for the rest of your life.”
The deadly chase was recorded. Click here,

Brilliant

[oldbluefox]

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.
A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had the same qualifications they were both asked to take a test and led to a quiet room
with no interruptions by the manager. They both scored 19/20.
The manager went to Murphy and said,"Thanks for coming to the interview but we*ve decided to give the job to the Norwegian."
Murphy ---"And why would you be doing that ?We both got 19 correct and this being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should have got the job ?"
Manager "We have made our decision not on the correct answers but on the one you got wrong."
Murphy "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager "Simple, on question 17 the Norwegian wrote down "I don*t know." You put down "Neither do I."